AIBU to send an email from XP ranting about school to the school?

[NinjaStar]

So DS1 (7) dad doesnt see him. There is an indirect contact order, for XP to write "not more than once per week". He hasn't bothered to write since the order came into force. They have had no contact for about 12 months

However the order specifies that I write to XP at set times of the year detailing how DS is doing, so that XP knows what to write to him about. I also have to send "adhoc important communications relating to PR issues"

So last week I received the OFSTED report from the school. I figured this was important so ive sent it off as dickhead XP doesnt have communications from the school (at his request). The report grades the school as satisfactory. The last report graded the school as good. So you can argue it has got worse.

I have woken up this morning to an email demanding to know why the school is "failing" and why it has "not improved". He is demanding that DS be moved to a better school, that will meet his academic needs, and a long winded rant about the "shitty" school, and the "fuckwitted" head and teachers, who were too stupid to realise how horrible I was and how wonderful he was, which ultimately concludes that this is another way I am showing myself to be a bad parent and failing in my duty of care to DS.

Now I know I should ignore, but I was very controlled in the relationship with XP, and still now years later the thought of getting into conflict with him sends me into a panic (I am receiving therapy for this). I know if I dont respond, the emails will escalate, and get worse. However if I do respond I will type something which he will twist and we end up exchanging emails back and forth with me apologising for being misterunderstood, and him saying how horrible I am (again a repeated pattern I am trying to break)

So AIBU to forward the email the headmistress and allow her to respond?

..... Or is stooping to childish levels of behaviour, and if so has anyone got something I can email to get him to go away. Preferably something sensible about how the OFSTED standards have changed (school says its got tougher?) but in a simple laymans terms I can understand

He's on this minimal contact order due to his (abusive) behaviour?

then tbh, IF you reply at all, then a blanket "Thanks for your email, the contents of which have been duly noted and actioned where appropriate/passed to the relevant organisations/bodies."

In fact, set up a filter on your email to automatically reply to any and every email from him with the text above!

Then change your day to day email address.

Refuse to allow him access to abuse you.

Houdini's suggestion of an automatic reply is perfect for this bully.

As for the school's latest Ofsted report, all schools will find themselves being reassessed under the same new system, where one 'Satisfactory' brings down all the other 'Good' ratings to an overall 'Satisfactory' classification.

Demoralising for school staff and perhaps a disappointment, but not a PR issue.

Get Anne Dickson's book Difficult Conversations. It is actually for face to face conversations but I bet you could adapt it for use in email. It covers all sorts of ways to deal with difficult situations assertively.

I agree that you should actually minimise the interaction you have with him anyway, but for when you do have to do it, this might help.

Maybe try sending an email telling him that you will check email and respond to him once a week/fortnight and anything that comes in in between will wait till the next checking date. That way he can't complain that you aren't responding - well, he can, but he can't say he hasn't been told. The auto reply stratgey is also good.