to expect some support from the primary school head teacher ?

[JamQueen]

A kids disco was organised with the school on their premises by the friends of the school as per each year. Only this year, key stage 2 children were really difficult. We had 9 year old girls in 5 inch heels, boys stealing from the tuck shop, children deliberately behaving as they would never dream of infront of a teacher or their own parent ! Not to mention the back chat from the little blighters. When senior staff onsite at the time were asked for help to deal with the more unruly ones they said 'not our problem - we didn't arrange it ! When parents have complained to the school because their little 'darling' was told off for unacceptable behaviour the head declared that we should have come and asked for their help - WHICH WE DID !!!!! God .... I am never NEVER helping at these events again. It just appears to be a political minefield !!! What can you do ????????? Is it too much to ask to have a head teacher with a spine ???????

'no discos etc until school offers support'

This made me laugh. I bet they're really scared!

Miserable bastards.

The children sound dreadful.

Yes there we do agree Dustinthewind. My child would be grounded for ever re school events if he behaved that badly!

Indeed. Would not like to teach there.

How about all the parents doing something for their children, like supporting a PTA and attending functions? having high expectations of their children's behaviour, to their peers and adults, instead of complaining when a child is told off for unacceptable behaviour.

Teachers would have to support a PTA too though. However, as others have said maybe there is more to this story.

Would we? Is it in the job description? Part of our directed hours?
How would we be compelled to support a PTA with our physical presence exactly?

For it to work I mean Dustinthe wind. Don't think compulsory unless very forceful Head!

Our Head teacher and some other teachers and TAs go to PTA meetings and many staff support events. Not sure how they are 'compelled' mind you.

Even a very forceful Head would be unable to make it compulsory. And why would the teachers want to support an event where parents send their children to be so badly behaved?

If teachers attend "friends of the school" events at DC's school, they are there either as parents themselves, or as interested observers because they like seeing "their" children having fun. They are not working and are not expected to be.

Personally, I think the fault in the OP's situation lies with the HT, who has some responsibility when events are being run on school premises to make sure that they are not set up to fail - hence the HT should have made it a condition of using the school premises that adequate arrangements (i.e. every child must be accompanied by an adult who is responsible for their behaviour) were in place, and made sure that it was abundantly clear to all concerned that the school and the staff were not reponsible for their DC.

It does seem an odd set up at the school.
The Head seems to be taking no responsibility as stealthsquiggle says.

message to Dustinthewind ... i assume from your comments that you are a HT ! We were asked by the school to run the event for them and help to raise funds ! Does that make any difference to your opinion or are you still of the ilk that parents can try to help support the school and make a difference with no school culpability whatsoever ??????

The school disco is somewhat of a tradition here ... unfortunately, our school believes that the parents have to take a responsibility to help provide funding and are constantly urged to give ... give ... give .... whether that be their time or money ! They want us to raise funds for their benefit without any involvement or responsibility. Is this what parents are supposed to expect from the school ? Would you want to send your child to a school where this was the case ? The school whats funding for nothing .... as we now know. The other issue is that the school has taken info directly from parental supervisors - who at the end of the day were helping out - not the organisers ... and have taken the parent event reports and then blatantly lied to complaining parents. We did ask for their help and advise - they told parents that we had not. We were not CRB checked nor ever asked - they told parents that we were etc... etc.... this is the problem ! The HT should be standing up ... grow some spine ... explain the pupil behaviour on THEIR premises is not acceptable ... they should deal with 'the friends' group whom they are responsible with instead of slagging of the parental helpers who are not members of the teaching staff nor are they the organisers. We are the poor buggers being shunted off !!!!! I do not understand how it could possibly be parental helpers who are at fault !!!!

...if I found out that my child had said to another parent at any event whether in school or not "you can't tell me what to do - you're not my mum or my teacher'' or "you can't make me stay at this disco - I'll leave if I want to" ... they would probably get their mouth washed out ! I certainly wouldn't be running to school complaining that someone had told off mi laddo !

It sounds as if the staff didn't want it. With ones that I have been involved in everyone helps and it is like being in school, they do not misbehave.

I would have taken the names of the culprits and banned them from further discos, film nights etc.

I would be going to the Head with the list and demanding that she arranges personal apologies-otherwise that is my last time as parent helper. I would want to see the DCs in person and make it quite clear that although I am not their mother or a teacher I can, and I will, tell them off if they need it.

Good luck JamQueen. You have had a frustrating and thankless task. It does sound like there need to be major changes and considerations before more events take place. It is not fair on you as parent helpers/ volunteers to bear the brunt of all this shit. Why should you bother with fund raising etc if the Head does not give a toss?

I would just go to the Head and tell her that you are not doing any more unless the DCs are all told the rules, and the consequences for not sticking to them, and that he/she will carry them out.