to expect some support from the primary school head teacher ?

[JamQueen]

A kids disco was organised with the school on their premises by the friends of the school as per each year. Only this year, key stage 2 children were really difficult. We had 9 year old girls in 5 inch heels, boys stealing from the tuck shop, children deliberately behaving as they would never dream of infront of a teacher or their own parent ! Not to mention the back chat from the little blighters. When senior staff onsite at the time were asked for help to deal with the more unruly ones they said 'not our problem - we didn't arrange it ! When parents have complained to the school because their little 'darling' was told off for unacceptable behaviour the head declared that we should have come and asked for their help - WHICH WE DID !!!!! God .... I am never NEVER helping at these events again. It just appears to be a political minefield !!! What can you do ????????? Is it too much to ask to have a head teacher with a spine ???????

Oh what a minefield OP. Was this an event to raise funds for the PTA? I would think that any event held on school premises involving pubils at the school is the responsibility of the school. The HT at our school would go nuts if pupils behaved like that towards parents. Perhaps best to avoid these events in future if the school are not supportive.

At our school the head teacher always stays for disco's - keeps the parents in place as well as the kids. What a shame you were left unsupported. It's making me angry for you actually op. There you are giving your own time to do something nice for the pupils (fundraise also?) and the staff didn't back you at the time or to the parents who complained.
The staff & the parents should be thanking you for your efforts. I'd be pissed off too. You know what to say next time you are asked to do an event.

It's a shame that the HT's personal time had to be disturbed by a poorly administrated disco

Personally, I wouldn't expect the teachers to step in. As the school was not involved. I would however expect the HT to address the bad behaviour.

I would expect for a PTA organised disco that it would be for parents and children with the parents being responsible for their children's behaviour.

I wouldn't send my child unaccompanied to an event at school that wasn't organised and policed by the school and I'm chair of the PTA.

Unfortunately... we do not have a PTA ! Teachers do not want to get involved with anything outside of 3pm period !!!!! The HT pushes for the 'friends of the school' group to organise these things and when we say 'NO' they tell the pupils it is because we won't do it !! Damned if you do and damned if you don't !!!! Going forward I think if the school wants it then they can flippin' well do it themselves !!! I want my kids to have a good school experience but not at the threat of losing my own sanity ! I would rather take them out myself for the evening !

So the teachers and the HT have done absolutely NOTHING to address the behaviour of those children either at the time or since?!!! I find that absolutely appaling and I speak as a teacher myself.

There is no excuse for that at all. What a load of jobsworths. How could they stand by and watch as the children were doing this? At my school if we see children being rude or misbehaving in say an after school club or PTA event (that might be run by a volunteer or other agency) we speak to them about it or we speak to their parents. YA definitely NOT BU!

How horrible that volunteers such as yourself have had such a miserable experience when you were only trying to do something nice for the kids. Too right you ought to refuse to do it again unless you are supported.

What a miserable bunch of teachers anyway, not to want to get involved in a school disco. We always attend them at my school and DDs teachers do at hers.

Gosh how awful!

Kids definitely get hyped up at these discos, I blame the Lynx and Tango but they can't behave badly!

Our PTA members run the discos and I think there's one teacher but not 100 % sure.

To add insult to injury, our beloved HT has lied to parents - she told some that all parents supervising were CRB checked - she told another that complained that the organisers should have notified them during the event - we did !!!! But she doesn't appear to let facts get in the way of her scapegoating !!!!!!!!!!

I would speak to the chair of govs about it or write a letter detailing everything you have said here. What an excuse for a HT. Despicable behaviour.

You need to decide, as a 'friends of the school' team, whether and under what circumstances you are prepared to run such events again, and then write to the governors outlining that decision and explaining what happened.

TBH, though, it does sound a little as if none of the people involved had much experience. At DC's school, if an event is organised by the "friends" then it is made very clear that all DC must be in the care of an adult (doesn't have to be their parent, but someone has to be responsible for them, as Scholes describes). It's a hassle, but it is precisely to avoid the sort of situations you ended up in (or accidents, injuries, etc with debate about who was in loco parentis at the time). If you had done that, the situation would not have arisen as no-one who knew these boys well would have agreed to take them, so they would have had to be with a parent, and you could have asked the parent to deal with/remove them.

Hindsight is, of course, a wonderful thing, and the HT should have advised you on how to handle this before the event, and should not be trying to wriggle out of dealing with it now.

Op, document exactly what happened and when, send to the governers. Do not accept this brush off from the HT. Simply because she is the HT doesn't mean she can lie to gloss over the fact that her staff and she didn't want to get involved.

And ask for a meeting with her, telling her what you have done and why and tell her that you will run no further events as she is clearly an ungrateful, lying old witch who doesn't appreciate parental involvement.

And breath:)

Sometimes it is just nice to give parents the opportunity to see what the children can be like without a teacher or two in charge, in a social situation.
If you can't cope as adults managing children, then don't have the disco and explain to the parents that the behaviour of many of their children make it impossible to cope. But why is appalling behaviour out of school hours a school issue? Complain to the parents of the disruptive elements, get them to do something.

I would resent anyone suggesting that I ought to be there to ride shotgun and help out at a social event for other people's children, or that it should be expected of me. You should have had enough adults there to manage, or cancelled it.
Perhaps the children were bored, perhaps the adults were ineffectual. Perhaps teachers do know a bit about dealing with and engaging pupils. We get a metaphorical battering on MN, in the media and in RL about how crap we are at so many things, and now the fact that you couldn't cope with a disco is also the fault of the teachers. Those children chose to behave in an unacceptable manner and you didn't know what the fuck to do about it.
Stop holding events until you work out a plan and tell them why.

Head of the school sound a waste of space, she should have just said if you want to organise an event go ahead, the onus is on you.

What a shitty Head Teacher and mean spirited school.
Like others have said -letter to Chair of Governors and no discos etc until school offers support.
Yanbu to be upset and angry.

The children sound very challenging, but really, why is this a teaching issue?
It's nothing to do with the education of the individuals concerned.
You don't want teachers involved in lunchbox decisions, bedtimes, anything that impacts or appears to judge parenting outside of specific academic issues. Why do you feel it is appropriate for teachers to be acting as bouncers and disciplinarians at a social event out of school hours?

Yes, I support our school events, as do the teachers. Few of our parents have the sense of entitlement and resentment displayed here.

'no discos etc until school offers support'

And that will be when? Why should the school staff want a disco?
To spend an evening with
'We had 9 year old girls in 5 inch heels, boys stealing from the tuck shop, children deliberately behaving as they would never dream of in front of a teacher or their own parent ! Not to mention the back chat from the little blighters.
When senior staff onsite at the time were asked for help to deal with the more unruly ones they said 'not our problem - we didn't arrange it !
When parents have complained to the school because their little 'darling' was told off for unacceptable behaviour... '
How does this benefit the school?

It is an unusual school not to have any form of parent/ teacher organisation isn't it?
Most PTAs organise discos/ events etc don't they?
The teaching staff and Head here sound like miserable gits to me [Never come accross such an unsupportive sounding lot in RL].

OP, I think you have bigger problems than a disco to worry about. This may sound extreme, but I would seriously think about removing my children if I found out they were at a school whose teachers care so little about them. The teachers that were there and the head have shown a disgusting attitude to the parents that have gone out of their way to help make their jobs a little easier, and to the children they are supposed to care for.

I work in a school, and regularly see 'my' children out of my contracted hours around town or if I'm helping out with a school event. They may get treated slightly more informally off the school premesis, but if I'm at school, I feel as responsible for them as I do when I'm getting paid.

It sounds like a really odd setup. I wonder if there is a missing part to this story.

I think the school would tell a completely different version of events.

How can not wanting to attend a disco in a supervisory role mean that the teachers don't care about the education of the children?

At our primary teachers supervise at PTA discos/ film nights/ bingo [whatever event at end of term]. Perhaps they are just a nice lot.

I know what sort of school I would prefer my child to be at and the ops sounds awful.