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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Urgent - WWBU to ask them to move their camper can out of our driveway

179 replies

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2012 08:45

Strange situation - woke this morning to find a camper van parked at the end of our driveway. There's a note in the window with an apology saying that they are sorry to park there but they arrived late etc etc. it's a battered old thing with an Irish number plate. Do we give them the benefit of the doubt and think they'll be gone in the next hour or do we ask them to leave and risk creating a bad situation? I'm in the 'get off my land!' way of thinking but DH wants to give them an hour in case it is genuinely just a case of someone about to fall asleep and pulling into the nearest safe place. I would have thought if that was the case they would have moved on after a short nap though!

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 22/03/2012 09:54

I have had people eat their packed lunch on my drive. It wasn't bothering me so I said a fairly cheery hello but actually it does feel odd.
It is hard to describe and I guess it is easy to think it smacks of mean spiritedness but it just feels a bit weird, like someone standing waaaay to close to you on the tube.

No I wouldn't be offering them tea and sarnies until I had spoken with them. Maybe that makes me a shit. But having had the nice bloke camp on the bit of land next door and think nothing of it, then have a few of his mates turn up and then more I am a bit burnt. Drug paraphernalia being thrown in my garden, drunken fights resulting in a violent attack with a hammer which I had to report and then received death threats and the shitting and shagging just the other side of my fence while my DD was playing in the garden....
That is two years of my life I won't get back.

The chances are they are nice. It might be Rosie and fucking Jim. But the op is disconcerted and a bit wary. That may be a sad reflection of modern life but I am not sure in reality many would be dancing a jig until they were quite sure what they were dealing with.

SoupDragon · 22/03/2012 09:55

If you could all PM me your addresses, this will make my summer camping trip so much easier.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/03/2012 09:55

I'd find it quite exciting and think of it as a chance to meet someone interesting that has the kind of life that means they need to go around sleeping in vans in random places.

If I was alone I'd feel threatened, but with dh and other neighbours around, I honestly think I'd like the little bit of drama!

Original poster

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2012 09:55

The long driveway was more a necessity rhinegold - the building site (for a fairly standard sized house) was in the bottom corner of a field! :)

OP posts:

Rhinestone · 22/03/2012 09:56

SpiritedWolf - Not really relevant what the OP uses various parts of her front garden for. It's hers, bought, paid for and maintained by her, presumably not for the use of passing strangers to use as a car park.

But seeing as you don't see this as a problem, perhaps you'd PM me your address so I can come and park on your front garden if I ever need to!

TimeWasting · 22/03/2012 09:56

Rhinestone, if they parked in my garden, I'd think it very odd as we live in suburbia, they'd have to have driven off the main road opposite a large empty car park and past lots of other houses to get here.
At our old house they'd be parked outside with no issue as it was a terrace with no driveway.
So, context matters, which is why I asked for a diagram.

bettybat · 22/03/2012 09:57

Rhinestone but it wasn't her front garden was it? As OP described it, it was at the end of a long driveway, away from the house. Hardly the front garden, under the living room window. She wasn't being inconvenienced, she wasn't blocked in, the presence of a note suggests very nonthreatening behaviour - in fact, a consideration for not wanting to perturb her - so it doesn't exactly match up to your description, does it?

Pagwatch · 22/03/2012 09:57

massive x-post.

QuintessentialShadows · 22/03/2012 09:57

Rhinestone, I live in London, anybody can park in front of our house! You are most welcome. You cant get into my front garden though. There is a hedge, and a gate.

Pagwatch · 22/03/2012 09:58

I do love some of the posts on here. The op has a big drive so she should welcome the good natured travellers who may well whittle something for them. They could all dance a jig and drink mead made from nettles.

QuintessentialShadows · 22/03/2012 09:59

The OP should protect her land and put up a gate.

SoupDragon · 22/03/2012 09:59

Garden within the boundary and in front of the house generally = front garden doesn't it?

Rhinestone · 22/03/2012 10:00

TimeWasting you're a hypocrite! You would find it 'odd' but the OP should find it delightful and be offering free breakfasts as well! Context is irrelevant, private property is private property.

BettyBat it is her property. It is part of what is colloquially called a 'garden' and it's at the front. You can OM me your address for free car parking too please.

upahill · 22/03/2012 10:02

I have recieved help and kindness from all sorts of people over the years in the most unexpected ways. I have long learned it is easier to be kind than not.
I am only imagining the lay out of the OPs driveway but it sounded like the camper van tried to make themselves as discreet as possible, left a note, made no noise and have now gone.
It wasn't as if they were under her window having a rave.
She didn't know they were there until she woke up.

So I am not some hippy dippy liberal but I don't like to make a fuss out of very little. If they had given me grounds to be concerned I would have reported it.
If they stayed there all day I would have asked what was going on.

If I had been the campers I wouldn't have wanted to be in a lorry park at all.

So going of the information I had I would be happy to let them park in this situation.

If it had been outside my house I wouldn't have been happy but only because I live on a very fast main road and it would have caused an accident.
If it had been my previous house I wouldn't have noticed for ages and wouldn't have cared!!

Rhinestone · 22/03/2012 10:03

x post with SoupDragon!

Original poster

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2012 10:04

Betty, they were there for a few hours undisturbed. It was not knowing who they were or how long they were planning to stay that bothered me!

OP posts:

TimeWasting · 22/03/2012 10:04

Rhinestone, of course the context is relevant. Only a nutter would park in my drive, as there are much better options, whereas middle of country, no other parking option, sensible thing to do. Or not due to the pitchfork wielding landowners.

pictish · 22/03/2012 10:04

Oh good lord!

He was at the bottom of the drive for a few hours, left a note apologising for the inconvenience and then buggered off early doors. No self respecting tourer would ever wish to spend the night on a driveway - so I'm guessing he was desperate. That is what I would assume if I were the OP, and therefore I could not find it in me to give a toss.

He has gone and it's no big deal.

ABatInBunkFive · 22/03/2012 10:05

I don't think there is anything wrong with OP being worried, am finding the amount of people who would be happy having someone camped in their garden quite funny, or is it only ok if they're not in your garden.

Or is it because OP has a biiger bit of land, in which case she should alow anyone to stay there, how dare she have an objection to people parking up on her property.

Rhinestone · 22/03/2012 10:05

Wonderful double standard and inverse snobbery all in one post TimeWasting!

Spiritedwolf · 22/03/2012 10:05

If I was lucky enough to have a front garden you'd be very welcome, as it is, you might need to ask the other neighbours if they also don't mind you camping in our shared drying area. Though can't imagine the chippy stones would be terribly comfortable.

I don't think its unreasonable for someone to park up overnight if they are lost/overtired/ill and leave before 10am. Obviously if they had been rude, vandalising, or refuse to leave then you get the police to have a word.

What the OP uses her grass for is of course their own business. I just think that some people are remarkably overprecious of grass... obviously it was more of an off topic remark.

ABatInBunkFive · 22/03/2012 10:06

pagwatch

larks35 · 22/03/2012 10:06

I think it would be fair enough to give them a knock to check they're not planning of a holiday on your drive. I did take a bit of offence from some earlier posts (not necessarily yours) that alluded to your front garden turning into a Gypsy camp (seemingly based on the Irish number plates!) and I imagine that is why a lot of posters are now saying you are being unreasonable .

It's 10am now, a perfectly reasonable time to wake them up if they're not already awake. Do it! I'm curious to know what happens

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 22/03/2012 10:06

OP I don't think you are being unreasonable. I would feel unsettled to find someone spending the night in our garden too. But I think I would agree with your DH, give them an hour or so and then see about waking them up.

Do you have any idea what time they might have arrived?

It's been longer than the hour your DH wanted to give them, has there been any sign of movement from the van?

TimeWasting · 22/03/2012 10:07

There's no double standard.
And that's not inverse snobbery, it's ironic class warmongering.

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