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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

So if you don't answer the phone, do you answer the door?

78 replies

knowitallstrikesagain · 21/03/2012 13:44

I don't always answer the phone when it rings. I have had comments from (old) people about this, asking how I can be uncontactable when I have a mobile. But I go one step further...

Sometimes I don't answer the door!!!!

I am often in my living room meaning I have full view of who is at the door and if it is someone I don't recognise, mostly I ignore it. This really infuriates people, normally door to door sales or charity collecters, who can see me looking at them. They make 'open the door gestures', ring again, probably wondering if I am deaf or have phobias, then leave cross and bemused. I have been told this is mean and I should answer the door to them. But I don't want to.
AIBU?

OP posts:

hifi · 21/03/2012 19:53

I never answer the phone unless I know who it is,when the answer phone kicks in. I don't answer any unknown mobile calls. I peek before I answer the door. I'm sociable me.

curiositykitten · 21/03/2012 19:58

I always answer the door to canvassers/etc if I'm in a pissed off mood, because shouting at people makes me feel better

GwennieF · 21/03/2012 19:58

Nope, the phone is there for my convenience, not for me to be at everone else's. The door I find harder to ignore, but as I don't have a doorbell I don't always hear it. Friends tend to just walk in and shout....

HandMadeTail · 21/03/2012 20:01

We have a video entrance phone on the gate. I don't even have to let them get as far as the door if i don't want to see them. But it's usually a delivery or someone I know.

Once I had someone ask me if I believed in Jesus, and I said I didn't. They asked why not, and I said I thought it was improbable. That really seemed to stump them even though it wasn't particularly witty or original.

usualsuspect · 21/03/2012 20:03

I always answer the phone , I always answer the door , but I may be one of them there old people

jasminerice · 21/03/2012 20:04

I only answer the phone and door if I want to. Don't care if complete stranger on doorstep has seen me inside, if I don't want to I won't open the door to them and I couldn't care less what they might think.

wisewomanmummy · 21/03/2012 20:06

Caller display is the best invention ever, and I have a sign (no salesmen etc), but I felt a bit guilty until I read this thread!

IgnoringTheChildren · 21/03/2012 20:08

I only answer the phone when I feel like it but I always answer the door, even if it means getting out of the bath and answering whilst dripping wet (in a bath robe - I'm not an exhibitionist!)

I think this is probably due to fear of missing someone with a large package but seeing as it's usually someone trying to get me to buy windows / support a charity / change my beliefs I should probably be more selective... If only I had a peep hole / security camera / the nerve to look and then just ignore them!

MadameMessy · 21/03/2012 20:12

I never answer private number calls to my mobile.
I never answer the house phone as we only have it as it comes with the tv and broadband. No one I know would ring it
I never answer my front door. I live in an apartment so if someone is coming I have to buzz them in. If someone just knocks at my door they are definitely unsolicited.

I must be such a grumpy fucker reading this over your :o

BobblyGussets · 21/03/2012 20:28

I want a gate with a video entrance phone now.

Our windows are huge and we have a glass panel in the stupid front door, so I am very visible, pah!

skateboarder · 21/03/2012 20:40

No if im busy i dont answer my door. Its usually delivery drivers asking for directions. Probably rude, but i don't give a shit if im busy, im busy.
When i was bf dd, i often sat & watched bemused white van men try to persuade me to open the door. Once they realised i was feeding a baby, they took their leave pdq!

everlong · 21/03/2012 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

knowitallstrikesagain · 21/03/2012 20:47

I want a gate with a video entrance and a phone too. Unfortunately my gate is approx 2m from my door and is about 1m high so I would still have the problem of people being able to clearly see I am in. Would amuse me though...

OP posts:

RedHotPokers · 21/03/2012 20:47

I always answer the phone, or DH does. Spent a good number of years with close relatives (DM, DGPs, MIL) being rushed into hospital periodically, and it drummed into me the importance of being contactable in an emergency. Couldn't live with myself if I missed a call and it was someone phoning to say my DM had had another fall. I still feel physically sick if the phone rings after 10pm, and I make DH answer it whilst I hold my breath!!!

Always answer the door too.

bobbledunk · 21/03/2012 20:57

If it's somebody we know they will call first. I'll always answer for the expected, family and the elderly, anybody else will depend entirely on whether I feel like it, I hate unexpected callers most of the time.

zukiecat · 21/03/2012 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissLofPubia · 21/03/2012 21:02

If I'm not expecting you, I'm not answering. If they perservere I will shout 'bugger off!'. It's laziness mostly, I live upstairs and my front door is all the way downstairs. That's 30 seconds of my time getting down there.

Ismeyes · 21/03/2012 21:09

I only answer the phone if I am available to talk, and the door if the caller is expected or the postman.

CroissantNeuf · 21/03/2012 21:18

So those of you who don't answer the door even when the person at the door has/can see you......do you just avoid eye contact? do you just mouth 'fuck off' 'go away' at them? do they not just keep knocking on the door or window?

CremeEggThief · 21/03/2012 21:56

In fairness, I'm not usually seen, and catch me on a good day, and I MIGHT open the door, but I think there's something so embarrassing about knocking on the door when you know you're just being ignored, that you tend to go away, often puzzled, pretty sharpish.

emsyj · 21/03/2012 22:03

Stupidly, I dashed downstairs holding a naked post-bath DD this evening after hearing someone apparently trying to hammer the bloody door down - I assumed that level of noise would indicate an emergency, but no! It was a sodding charity canvasser wanting my bank details.

I was on the very outskirts of briskly polite by the end of the conversation and will not be answering the door without checking who it is through the window in future.

Original poster

knowitallstrikesagain · 21/03/2012 22:20

CroissantNeuf They usually get confused after a bit and leave. Either turn your back on them, ignore them and switch on the telly or stare hard at them. Any of these approaches will work. I am sure mouthing 'fuck off' at them might work too.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 21/03/2012 22:25

I think it very rude if they can see you are in and your don't bother to answer.

Mrsjay · 21/03/2012 22:28

If there is collectors in the street or sellers i wont answer the door , we have had a spate of setting up direct debit charities these last few months i wont answer to them , or jehovas we had lovely ladies before but at christmas it was a really grumpy old man i saw him a few weeks ago and didnt answer the door , Its your door you dont need to answer it if you dont want to ,

Original poster

knowitallstrikesagain · 21/03/2012 22:29

But why? Is it ruder to show that you don't want to talk to them by ignoring them than by answering the door and saying 'I do not want to talk to you'?

Are you old?

OP posts:

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