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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat dilemma

82 replies

poorlykittyowner · 19/03/2012 17:40

Namechanger here because I'm worried about getting a verbal kicking for even thinking this.

Our cat's been ill for some time, over a month now. We took him to the vet's and despite antibiotics, steroids, 2 blood tests, xray's and a 2nd opinion from another vet in the same practice, they still don't have a clue what the problem is.

Basically he was fine one day then the next day he was walking like he'd hurt his leg and/or drunk. Now as time as gone on, he's now refusing to eat, move and only drinks water. We've force fed him a few times so high calorific food but that's not a long term plan. He's lost so much weight he's practically skin & bones.

The problem is that the vet is now out of ideas and has referred us to a specialist. The specialist can see him at the end of the week but it's £100 for the initial consult followed by between £1000-£2000 for initial treatment depending on what it is.

Now here is our dilemma. We've already spent over £500 on vet bills. An amount I'm hoping the pet insurance will pay out for. I say hoping as it's a recent policy we took out and I'm concerned they may try to argue they wont pay out until they know whats wrong. And if later we do find out, they may argue whatever it is, may have been preexisting prior to the policy even if we didn't know or the cat never showed symptoms. I've never claimed on pet insurance before but I tend to err on the side of caution with all insurance companies. Finally the policy has a £3k limit which at the time seemed more than enough cover.

The cat's miserable. He can't eat, can barely walk and is clearly suffering. We can't afford £1000-£2000 and there's not even a guarantee at the end of that they can figure out what's wrong. Or maybe at the end of that they can't even do anything for the cat.

So...AIBU to be considering asking the vet to put the cat to sleep? At what point is enough enough? I'm gutted even thinking about it. We all love the cat but he's clearly suffering and financially it's getting scary when times are so tough and whilst we're not on the breadline, neither can we just conjure up £2k.

OP posts:
Snowgirl1 · 19/03/2012 17:42

YANBU if the cat is suffering.

pjmama · 19/03/2012 17:44

Honestly, in your shoes I think I'd be thinking the same thing. Bearing in mind he's suffering and has been for a while and they're all still scratching their heads, you currently have no clear how long his misery is going to go on for. The expense wouldn't bother me if they knew what was wrong and thought they could make him better - but with the uncertainty I'd definitely be considering letting him go for his own sake.

Sparklingbrook · 19/03/2012 17:44

You said the cat is suffering. It's time. I'm sorry. Sad

BolderesHolderesMalHumor · 19/03/2012 17:45

You're probably right to name change. I think this may kick off.

Imo YANBU to consider having your cat put to sleep if he is suffering so badly, but first I think you need to talk to the vet and also check out your insurance policy before making the final decision.

zukiecat · 19/03/2012 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pascha · 19/03/2012 17:48

Have a chat to the insurers. You can ask them to confirm if it is covered or not.

Catsmamma · 19/03/2012 17:49

I would be exactly the same...poor you and poor cat. I would say it's time. :(

exhackette · 19/03/2012 17:50

Explain the situation to your insurance company and ask if the referral to a specialist would be covered. You may be pleasantly surprised -- as long as you took out the policy before you took the cat to the vets in the first place you should be covered. Hope it goes well for you.

Sparklingbrook · 19/03/2012 17:50

If the cat is already poorly and suffering is it fair to start what will most likely be gruelling treatment whatever it costs? How old is the cat poorly?

cardamomginger · 19/03/2012 17:51

YANBU. The cat is suffering. There is no guarantee that the specialist will arrive at a diagnosis soon, or that the diagnosis will indicate a problem that is treatable. From what you say, if they don't know what's wrong, this might not even be the right sort of specialist to send him to. It is SO SO SO hard. I've had to put two cats to sleep and it's awful. And the financial side of things only makes the guilt worse I think. There's a temptation to think that if you had infinite financial resources, then you could get him back to full health, or at least to an acceptable quality of life. But that's not always the case. It really sounds like you have done your absolute best for him. I'm not discounting the financial aspect at all, but I don't think the decision is really about the money. Don't feel guilty. These decisions are the hardest part of responsible pet ownership. XX

Whatmeworry · 19/03/2012 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

cardamomginger · 19/03/2012 17:53

And don't anyone DARE to flame you or give you a verbal kicking!!

Sparklingbrook · 19/03/2012 17:54

Not helpful Whatme. Sad

LisasCat · 19/03/2012 17:54

No kicking off from this cat lover. Mystery illnesses can drag on and involve a lot of invasive surgery. I think it's time.

Goawaybob · 19/03/2012 17:54

I don't think the insurance should come into this tbh. It is clouding the issue - look at it like the treatment and investigation is free.

Two vets can't tell you what is wrong with your cat, you have already spent £500 so i can only assume that he has had a fair amount of investigative stuff done to date? Is there any indication as to what system is going wrong? Liver? Kidneys? Thyroid? Has any of the treatments he had worked?

Im really sorry, but if this were my cat, i would be calling time - its not fair on him and i really don't think this will have a happy ending for him. Poor puss, its just not to be. I think your gut feeling here is to PTS and that is a very strong indicator.

Taking the money into account - if this were a youngish cat, you had an indication that the specialist could treat him, then i would be pragmatic and set a financial limit, which would basically be agreed with your insurers what they would be willin to pay for, but you don't have this even, they can't even promise the specialist will know.

I can't see why anyone would flame you for this, its a horrible decision to have to make and a very selfLESS one to make. You have to consider what is best for your cat and you cannot let him suffer anymore.

So very sorry that you are having to go through this xx

Goawaybob · 19/03/2012 17:56

Whatmeworry - you idiot Angry

MissMogwi · 19/03/2012 17:56

That's nice whatme Hmm

I'd be thinking the same OP. The cat is suffering, sounds like the kindest solution.

Ingles2 · 19/03/2012 17:57

YANBU at all. If you cat is suffering, and there is no progress in diagnosis, then it is time to let him go.
I have been in exactly the same position with our cocker spaniel. When she was small, she was ill one day and then during the night fell into a coma. She was in between insurance policies,as we were changing from the pet plan that came with her to our own insurance, so I knew she wouldn't be covered. The vet couldn't work out what was wrong with her, or even if it was a zoonotic disease, she was looked at by various local vets, no change and her bill was at £3K! We decided to put her to sleep.
In the end, the vet stepped in and she was packed off to the Royal college of vets for them to look at her, so they covered the ongoing cost of treatment.
Anyway the point is, much as we adore our pets, if they have a poor quality of life or are unhappy or in pain, then you have to think carefully about actually who benefits from all this expensive vet care.

BolderesHolderesMalHumor · 19/03/2012 17:57

Inappropriate whatme

Original poster
poorlykittyowner · 19/03/2012 17:58

Thanks. The problem isn't just the referal. I called the insurer and explained we don't know and they were ok with that. So I'm as confident as I can be with insurer's that they will pay out what we've spent up to date.

I guess they can't argue right now that this is a preexisting condition given we've no clue what it is.

But even if we put that aside, the vet said the next step is for specialist to see him, perhaps do MRI scan or more xray's. If what the specialist has quoted for initial investigations is correct then we've practically blown the limit of our cover already. What if they say they need to operate? Or worse, at the end it's terminal and then once we know what the issue is, the insurer refuses to pay?

And that's assuming they can find out. It's awful that we're having to think about the money and the care but obviously it is a consideration. It's times like this we've got the NHS for the family.

Even if money wasn't a consideration, isn't it more cruel to watch him suffer every day?

OP posts:
Goawaybob · 19/03/2012 17:59

With regards to pre-existing conditions, if your cat hasn't shown any symptoms previous to the claim then the insurers will have to pay out, even if it was something that puss was born with, it doesn't count until it is symptomatic

Original poster
poorlykittyowner · 19/03/2012 18:00

Liver? Kidneys? Thyroid?

All fine. Bloods fine. No tumours or growths on the xray. It's a real mystery.

OP posts:
BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 19/03/2012 18:00

Whatme - reported.

OP, if it was a kitten or a young cat, I would contact insurer and see what options are.

If cat is over 5, I would be considering ending their suffering. Think of the tests and the upset the cat will go through to potentially find out, there's little can be done anyway.

Sorry you are going through this xx

Not sure why anybody would think this would kick off though Hmm

ChickenLickn · 19/03/2012 18:00

Ah, this is like the NHS dilema.

Sparklingbrook · 19/03/2012 18:00

Whatmeworry, you posted that link with a Grin face on a cat problem thread on 10/2/12. Why are you at it again?