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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat dilemma

82 replies

poorlykittyowner · 19/03/2012 17:40

Namechanger here because I'm worried about getting a verbal kicking for even thinking this.

Our cat's been ill for some time, over a month now. We took him to the vet's and despite antibiotics, steroids, 2 blood tests, xray's and a 2nd opinion from another vet in the same practice, they still don't have a clue what the problem is.

Basically he was fine one day then the next day he was walking like he'd hurt his leg and/or drunk. Now as time as gone on, he's now refusing to eat, move and only drinks water. We've force fed him a few times so high calorific food but that's not a long term plan. He's lost so much weight he's practically skin & bones.

The problem is that the vet is now out of ideas and has referred us to a specialist. The specialist can see him at the end of the week but it's £100 for the initial consult followed by between £1000-£2000 for initial treatment depending on what it is.

Now here is our dilemma. We've already spent over £500 on vet bills. An amount I'm hoping the pet insurance will pay out for. I say hoping as it's a recent policy we took out and I'm concerned they may try to argue they wont pay out until they know whats wrong. And if later we do find out, they may argue whatever it is, may have been preexisting prior to the policy even if we didn't know or the cat never showed symptoms. I've never claimed on pet insurance before but I tend to err on the side of caution with all insurance companies. Finally the policy has a £3k limit which at the time seemed more than enough cover.

The cat's miserable. He can't eat, can barely walk and is clearly suffering. We can't afford £1000-£2000 and there's not even a guarantee at the end of that they can figure out what's wrong. Or maybe at the end of that they can't even do anything for the cat.

So...AIBU to be considering asking the vet to put the cat to sleep? At what point is enough enough? I'm gutted even thinking about it. We all love the cat but he's clearly suffering and financially it's getting scary when times are so tough and whilst we're not on the breadline, neither can we just conjure up £2k.

OP posts:
Angelico · 19/03/2012 19:07

YANBU at all. Very sorry to hear this :(

Gay40 · 19/03/2012 19:11

I think it's Time, and don't feel bad.
xx

MrsApplepants · 19/03/2012 19:20

Our cat caught feline leukaemia, despite being vaccinated against it. Vet tried everything, insurance paid up but she was still suffering. We made the heartbreaking decision and she was put to sleep while I was cuddling her. We loved her very much and were devastated but the something the vet said gave us some comfort, in that she died painlessly in the arms of those who love her, no one could wish for any better way to go. Be brave. X

Original poster
poorlykittyowner · 19/03/2012 21:01

Thanks all. I was honestly worried that I'd be in for a kicking to be even considering it.

We had a chat with the vet and like it was said earlier, he wasn't surprised when we asked. He spent a long time reassuring us that we've nothing to feel guilty about.

His gut feeling is that it's a brain tumour but nothing shows on the xray so it's only a guess. He also understood about the insurance/cost issue and agreed that even at the end of all this they still may not know or they find they can't do anything so have to put him to sleep anyway.

So we've got an appointment booked for tomorrow. We've had a bit of a cry and have planted the seed in the eldest child's head that we may have to make the hard decision. We didn't want to just come straight out with it and scare them.

The cat just looks so defeated. A few weeks ago he was so king of the hill.

Sad
OP posts:
Goawaybob · 19/03/2012 21:07

So sorry you are going through this - you know you are doing the right thing x

bumblebeader · 19/03/2012 21:11

I'm so sorry about your cat. I think you have come to the right decision. We had to have one of our cats put down last year after spending over £1000 trying to get him well. If I'd known what the outcome was going to be in the end, we never would have put him through the stress of visiting the vet twice a week for 3 months for tests, poking, prodding, etc. It ripped my heart in two putting him down, but it was for the best. I still miss him.

Best wishes for you tomorrow.

Redbindy · 19/03/2012 21:18

My sympathies. Cats become so much part of your family and your life. We've had to have several put down over the years and it never gets any easier. Best wishes for tomorrow.

floweryblue · 19/03/2012 21:39

You will be doing the right thing for your cat OP.

It is a very, very hard thing to do but you know your cat better than anyone and if you think he has had enough, he probably has.

cardamomginger · 19/03/2012 22:30

I'm so so sorry. But it is the right decision. Big hugs XXXX

somedayma · 19/03/2012 22:32

poor cat and poor you :(. The cat doesn't even know what's going on, it must be confused and miserable. I think it wouldn't be fair to subject it to more tests etc. Sorry :(

G1nger · 19/03/2012 22:36

The cat has stopped eating. It is trying to die. Let it. Soon, it will stop drinking too and then it will die. Humans do this too.

Cheddars · 19/03/2012 22:39

These animals give us so much love and laughter.

Best wishes for tomorrow Op. It sounds like you've made the right decision.

seeker · 19/03/2012 22:46

My view, for what it's worth, is that is is it is selfish qnd cruel to put an animal through extensive tests and treatment even it you know they will eventually recover

Animals have no sense of the future- they live in the now. And if the now is horrible, they have no way of knowing that it will ever change.

Goawaybob · 19/03/2012 22:48

I totally agree with that seeker, animals understand quality of life, not quantity.

Bohica · 19/03/2012 23:00

I've read your thread and just wanted to post some support along with most of the other posters.

Sad I think you are doing the right thing.

iscream · 20/03/2012 06:39

I'm so sorry OP. I think you are doing the right thing by your cat.

ItsAroundHereSomewhere · 20/03/2012 07:34

I watched a friend put her dog through several rounds of chemo. He was miserable and in constant pain. The result? He lived four more months in a desperate state and she was down 3k. Not worth it for anyone involved.

You are doing the right thing OP. I'm so, so sorry Sad

FilterCoffee · 20/03/2012 07:45

YANBU. I think that would be the right decision.

CrystalMaize · 20/03/2012 09:18

I agree with everyone, it's the right decision. You will probably find the vet does as well, they just don't like to suggest it in the first place. I lost two very beloved cats this way and it's such a hard thing to have to do. I'm so sorry. Give your cat lots of fuss and plenty of peace and quiet. Do try to get some fluid in to him if you can as it would make him more comfortable. I think the money is irrelevant - you have nothing to feel bad about at all. Best wishes x

MissVerinder · 20/03/2012 09:19

YANBU.

I will be thinking of you today ((((((hugs)))))))

EnjoyResponsibly · 20/03/2012 09:26

Here to support you OP, terrible predicament for you.

Im grabbing straws but would it be worth calling your local police station in case some nutter is poisoning cats in your area.

Holding your virtual hand and paw xx

Mrsjay · 20/03/2012 09:30

aww poor cat I would do what is kindest to the cat there is only so much you can do for an animal before it is time to have the PTS , all these tests is invasive , the cat isnt eating , it really has no quality of life , imo , i hope you can come to a decision , I wouldnt pay out that much for a cat either ,

QuietTiger · 20/03/2012 09:30

I am so sorry for you having to make the awful and final decision for your dear cat.

FWIW, (and it may or may not help), I've been in rescue/had cats for a long time (so am really a crazy cat lady Grin ) and have had to make this decision a number of times.

When you are told by the vet "we're not sure what's wrong, but you can do X or Y treatment, blah, blah" you have to ask why you are going to the end degree. Is it so you feel better, thinking you've done everything you possibly can, or is it to help your darling pet? Sometimes, invasive, expensive, extreme treatment is not always in the best interest of your pet. They'd suffer going through all the medical treatments, not knowing why they are being poked and proded in a strange environment, with the final end result being the same.

Far better that his time before he goes is with his family, stress free and loved. You are doing the right thing by helping him go gently. You are very much in our thoughts OP and we'll be thinking of you and Dcat today.

JParkson · 20/03/2012 09:39

YANBU, I faced the same dilemma with my 12+ yr old dog, suddenly he plummeted in condition and behaviour. After much soul-searching, a few too many tests for my liking, and an emergency trip to the vet after he yakked up his dinner within seconds of eating it, we made the decision to let him go.

We had an idea of what his condition was (canine version of crone's disease, possibly linked with a brain tumour), but the vet on duty said we were just managing it - he'd never get better. He was losing weight, wetting himself, and his behaviour was worsening towards everybody (not just the children) so once it was confirmed he'd never get better, it helped us decide.

He was laid to rest in my arms, and all I remember thinking was, this is the longest I've ever been able to hold him Sad

Many many hugs to you, I know it's not easy. My thoughts are with you xx

Mrsjay · 20/03/2012 09:42

My cat is 18 and has renal failure and other things going on , the treatment isnt really working we are monitoring her for quality of life at the moment I think if she had stopped eating i would have to take her to be PTS ,