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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with exH about car seat?

62 replies

Minstrelsaremarvellous · 19/03/2012 16:36

I've just found out that ExH is using a booster seat (no back/sides or head support) for our 4yr old DD. I have her in a proper car seat and I'm really safety conscious about things like this. He has got 2 other children and so has probably put her in the booster to get all the kids in his car but he drives a massive Volvo 4x4. Not sure how to handle it. I'm assuming it's legal?

OP posts:
PattiMayor · 19/03/2012 16:40

Yes it is legal afaik. DS is in a seat that has a detachable back so it can be converted into a booster but I don't think it takes up any more space when the back's on iyswim. Could you have a word with him?

A massive Volvo 4x4 is probably fairly safe as cars go

StrandedBear · 19/03/2012 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bronze · 19/03/2012 16:42

If you are not happy then talk to him but yes hes perfectly within the law and also as their parent can choose to parent them differently to you.

StrandedBear · 19/03/2012 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ginmakesitallok · 19/03/2012 16:47

A booster seat is fine for that age?? YABU

Kayano · 19/03/2012 16:51

YABU

It's legal and his decision to make. Bet you wouldn't appreciate him scrutinising everything you do, esp as it is legal and acceptable

hanaka88 · 19/03/2012 17:34

I read something about boosters being unsafe as there no sides to protect children from hitting their heads against the window. That's why my nearly 6yo is still in a car seat. He'll be in it as long as I can squeeze him in it.

DairyNips · 19/03/2012 17:39

It's always best to go by weight of child rather than age. A small 4 year old wouldn't be properly protected in just a booster seat. They need to be in a 5 point harness till they're the right weight.

hanaka88 · 19/03/2012 17:40

here

here

silverfrog · 19/03/2012 17:40

if he drives a volvo 4x4, does it not hav the middle seat in-built booster seat? you can buy an extra insert/backrest liner that has some extra support too, to fit with this in-built booster.

together they would not take up much room (if space is the problem, and if it is the XC90, I can see that it might be - I would have struggle dot fit 3 seats across mine due to seat shaping etc), and would fit between 2 seats I reckon.

hanaka88 · 19/03/2012 17:40

Oh do you mean a booster seat or just a booster cushion? With a back or not?

Original poster
Minstrelsaremarvellous · 19/03/2012 18:44

Not 100% sure about built in car seat but DD tells me it's part of the car, I know I probably just need to chat to him (do my best to avoid any talk tbh!). My DD is a real skinny minny. She's tall but thin so am a little anxious. I've no intention of wading in all guns blazing but it's a personal preference of mine and I don't exclude him
from parental decisions.

OP posts:
SecretNutellaFix · 19/03/2012 18:47

What does your daughter weigh? That is the important factor here.

If she is heavy enough to use a booster seat it is better than nothing, but for her safety, she should be in a high back booster where the shoulder belt can be positioned correctly across her chest and shoulder.

If she isn't at least 15kg, she still need to be using a five point harness.

Seona1973 · 19/03/2012 18:48

the middle seat of my last car (volvo xc90) folded up into a booster cushion which was suitable for children over 15kgs. The seat would not be big enough to fit a booster seat on if there were car seats on the 2 end seats as well (the middle seat is narrower then the outside seats)

silverfrog · 19/03/2012 19:02

if it is part of the car, then it sounds like the in-built booster.

you could talk to volvo about it's ratings etc - I have found them helpful in the past.

there used to be (I had an XC90 7 years ago) an accessory you could buy to help with side protection etc - will have a look n a bit.

as Seona says, I really doubt you'd get 3 seats across the back row, due to shaping/size etc.

silverfrog · 19/03/2012 19:08

this is the accessory I was talking about

TheMonster · 19/03/2012 19:09

YABU.

Original poster
Minstrelsaremarvellous · 19/03/2012 19:23

Thanks Silverfrog, that's useful. I can only talk to him and I know I can't 'make' him do anything but I think it's ok for me to at least discuss my concerns.

OP posts:
silverfrog · 19/03/2012 19:28

you're welcome Smile

when I was searching for it, I noticed the new XC90s seem to have the booster cushions on the outside seats, and nothing on the middle seat (I didn't explore fully, but this is how it seemed). so if the car is a new one then what I said may well not apply. (or maybe those seat covers fit the outside seats too? no idea!)

you can search by model/year on the link I provided, for various accessories, so you could have a hunt.

SachaF · 19/03/2012 19:40

Just because it's legal doesn't make it right. It was legal for MP's to claim expenses for all sorts of things - didn't make it right though did it?!

My parents in law have now given in and use the car seats I supply rather than the booster they have. I have to have words with my dh sometimes to remind him about child seat safety. Not everyone will be as aware of you of the different safety levels of the different types of seats so I think it's absolutely fair to discuss it with him in a non confrontational kind of way. He might not have realised there was much difference.

I am familiar with those seats in a Volvo, I kinda have an ok for short journeys principle so they can get to ride with their cousins sometimes, but also a proper child seat will fit to the side of the in built booster.

thegreylady · 19/03/2012 19:43

I use a booster for dgs who is 5. I have a proper seat for the three year old but can't afford two and we only do two three mile journeys a week. It is a Graco booster seat and is marketed from 4 years.

Bongobaby · 19/03/2012 19:56

I find this topic very useful. would anyone on here let their child travel without a car/booster seat?

fatherchewylouis · 19/03/2012 20:50

StrandedBear is wrong, it IS a parenting choice (as long as it is within the law) as it is obviously a case of horses for courses.

A risk assessed decision needs to be made based on size of child, types of journeys, length of journeys etc.

I would not put my 4.5 year old in a booster without back on a long motorway journey but I do sometimes on the school run which is short and slow. The benefit of the high back is obvious on the long/fast journey but negligable (if any) for the school run journey.

Like most parenting choices it's all about common sense.

SecretNutellaFix · 19/03/2012 21:03

fatherchewylewis- most car accidents occur within three miles of the home.

The booster cushions only raise the child up by a couple of inches, it does not position the shoulder belt in the correct position across the chest and shoulder. That is where the danger comes in- that the child slips beneath the belt or that it cuts in against the neck.

Britax NO LONGER manufacture booster cushions because they offer no side impact protection.

5madthings · 19/03/2012 21:04

why would the benefit be negligable on a short slower journey? you do know that most accidents happen close to home on those short journeys and even a 30mile per hour crash can cause a lot of damage to a child.

i use the high backed booster for my 7 and 9 yr olds, the 4 yr old has just gone into one as well, a maxi cosi rodi? i think and 15mth old is still in a 5 point harness type and will be until she is too heavy/too tall. i think the ones with a back offer more support, keep the seatbelt in place properly are more comfortable and offer side and head impact protection which is important for children.