to think that no, respect should not have to be earned?

[knowitallstrikesagain]

I keep hearing this phrase and it drives me mad! I hate the attitude that repsect has to be earned. Why is it not that respect is afforded to everyone until they behave in a way that means they do not deserve it?

AIBU to think that respect is an automatic until proved otherwise?

Yanbu! I hate it too!

Especially with regards to children/teenagers. Why should a child/teenager not be respected if there is no cause not to?

I think respect is a term used far too lightly now. I'll give people the benefit of the doubt, and be courteous, but my respect has to be earned, it is not given automatically.

YANBU. Respect for others should be one's default setting.

(Unless its a curmudgeonly old gimmer who is being tight with the Worthers.)

YANBU..

I was brought up to have respect for my parents, elders, teachers, and anyone else I came into contact with.

I have never had the attitude that "respect must be earned" as that implies you have no respect for someone to begin with, which is ignorant.

Sadly, people who feel entitled to respect, while having none for others is very much a poor reflection on society these days.

It seems to start at school age, when parents tell their "little darlings" not to worry, as nobody else is allowed to tell them how to behave, and they can do what the hell they like.

I think there is a difference between respecting someone and treating them with courtesy. I treat people in a courteous manner, but does not mean I necessarily respect them. I would need to more about the person to determine if I respected them.

Absolutely know, but then I already know that you and I are singing from the same hymn sheet.

Respect is not something that is earned. It is something that should be accorded to everyone, regardless. It is, however, something that can be very easily lost.

YANBU. There is a level of respect - which involves according even strangers a certain level of good manners, which should be accaorded to everyone.

There are additional levels of respect for eg heroism that go beyond that.

Usually saying "respect has to be earned" is tantamount to saying "I can behave as badly as I like to pretty much everyone".

YANBU

It should be accorded to everyone.

It may be lost but it does not need to be earned

Stratters - I define what you wrote as courtesy, not respect. Agree with you this should be how you treat everyone.

There are levels of respect. There is the basic level of respect that should be offered to every living thing, which includes using basic manners and common courtesy. Then there is a higher level of respect which is based on the person themselves and what they do ie; firemen and teachers tend to get a higher level of respect from me than bankers or 'celebrities' might, as they put themselves out more for other people so their actions demand respect. Then there is the highest level of respect which borders on reverence, whereby that person is like a god and everything they say is gospel. I reserve that one for Stephen Fry ;)

If it's a person you don't know then of course you should show respect until they do something to make you want to do otherwise. Even then I would tend to overlook rude or silly behaviour and just avoid the person in future.

I prefer to use the phrase 'There are no rights without responsibility'. I have mothered 6 teenagers. Sometimes they do have to earn respect and not treat home like a hotel or expect the bank of mum and dad to pay up.

I think the words are just semantics. 'Respect' and 'courtesy' are interchangeable in this context and everyone knows what the OP means.

Agree you should treat people with consideration and kindness by default.
This should apply equally to pupils and teachers, doctors and patients etc.
Respecting people should be your default setting.

YANBU

Respect everyone unless they prove by their actions they are not to be respected

Good post Pious

Disagree - not the same at all. Respect implies to hold someone in high regard or to admire them.
e.g there is a teacher at my son's school that I treat with courtesy, but I have no respect for him as a person.

YANBU

YABU. My courtesy comes as standard; my respect is something you have to earn.

Yanbu respect should come from within ( sounds all hippy now you should always have self respect,

Ok well if we're talking about respect in terms of the dictionary definition of holding in high esteem, then I accept that one might not go about treating every individual one encounters in that way.

I was interpreting the OP to mean affording respect as interchangeable with affording courtesy.

How can you respect someone you don't know?! You can't possibly know what traits they may possess that would warrant respect.

You can however be courteous,polite and pleasant as a default.

I do however agree that "earning" respect is a bit of a stupid term.

Yanbu. I agree with the op.

YANBU

Very good point, OP.

i agree with your op

i respect my ds and his feelings, he is his own little person but at 4 how can he have earnt my respect but he is learing what it is about. many children grow up without being shown respect, however if i respect them as a person they may give it back, they are never going to if it is not given to them in the first place

those who feel that others need to earn their respect are just full of their own self importance

Agree with Sparks1: courtesy should not have to be earned, but respect is not a given. And it's possible to be courteous even to someone you don't respect. Arguably the ability to do this is the basis of good manners.