AIBU to be annoyed that there are too many threads in pregnancy not about pregnancy itself.

[LAF77]

I'm maybe just very fed up in my heavily pregnant state at the moment after a bad nights sleep again. But why do people continually start threads in pregnancy about pushchairs, breast feeding, miscarriage, antenatal clubs, and heaven knows what else in the pregnancy section? Dont they know there are specific areas of MN for those topics? It is annoying me at the moment, but then most things are.

I think you're having a grumpy moment.
But you're excused if you're as far gone as you sound.
MN is a lot more disciplined about appropriate thread topics than many sites (AIBU excepted, of course).

i noticed that too.
very annoying.

yanbu.

The threads about miscarriage are often started by people who do not know if they have miscarried or not. Presumably once they get it confirmed they then slope off to the miscarriage board.

hardly anyone posts on the pushchair review section and pregnant women are often happy to compare pushchairs.

The only ones I notice and dislike are the one's which are really an ante-natal club thread. There's a separate forum for those for a reason (ie so they can be hidden - those who are not at the same stage of pregnancy are just not interested, and there are so many of them).

ante-natal means pregnancy, so that seems fine. Miscarriage is certianly related to pregnancy, so is thinking about breastfeeding if you are pregnant and not there yet.

Are you seriously, in your successfully pregnant state, going to tell women off for posting about miscarriage in the pregnancy section? Really, you want to be that person?

The ones I dislike are the "am I pregnant?" ones. just Pee on a Fucking Stick. Other than that I'm not bothered.

OP - Don't be nasty about people who are having miscarriages, for God's sake.

i think she means those that "chat" about it, or those who want to talk about it when they know what it is, not about those who post when they don't know what's happening (i hope to god)

The one tends to lead into the other though. I started a thread not knowing what was happening. By the time I did know, I didn't particularly feel like stepping away from the support that had built up there.

I hope so.

You do get some posts on the pregnancy topic about bleeding in the first trimester and those people are sometimes fine, sometimes miscarry. When they've just started to have symptoms they aren't sure.

LAF77 do those posters annoy you?

(Because if so YABU).

Umm, as having suffered 3 miscarriages myself, I am more than sensitive to it. Im not keen on checking the pregnancy thread and seeing stuff about miscarriage as it does bring back my fears that something could go wrong even though I'm so close this time.

But, I am just the sort of person who wants things to be organised as per the categories that they are meant to be on.

I have had a tearful morning and am a bit emotional today.

YABU - lots of topics that people post on MN about could easily cross over into several boards. This one for instance could have been posted in Pregnancy where the "offenders" would see it

OP if it bothers you that much report it and ask for it to be moved to it's proper place.

I'm on there a lot & hadn't noticed. I'm 38+5, have a 26 month old & have already had 2 bouts of intense false labour. I'm as grumpy as they get.

So YABU (but I love you for being more unreasonable than me!!!)

"Dont they know there are specific areas of MN for those topics?"

Probably not, no, if they are first-timers who have only dipped their toes into the Pregnancy topic.

As others have said, you can report threads and ask for them to be moved to the correct place.

I think its inevitable that talk involving miscarriages end up in Pregnancy. People don't have miscarriages without already being pregnant first after all.

Sorry OP, I appreciate why it bothers you but it is your problem. You can't expect miscarroage never to be talked about on the pregnancy board because of your feelings (not matter how understandable those feelings are).

I said ante-natal club threads ie the specific chat threads, which are only of interest to those who are expecting at the same time.

Not ante-natal issues generally, something which I have not hidden as there may be interesting threads or ones on which I might be able to help.

I'm so very sorry for your losses and I understand that it is a scary time while you are still pregnant.

A lot of people have those fears - the majority I'd say, but I try to put them aside and be empathetic with people who need a hand holding. I had loads of heavy bleeding in early pregnancy last time (subchorionic heamatoma) and ended up with PE and IUGR and a preemie who spent 2 weeks in SCBU so despite having had a straightforward pregnancy this time (36w) I still fear it might all be taken away from me at the last minute.

I try to be supportive to people going through a hard time in pregnancy as I know how scary it can be not to know how things are going to pan out. They shouldn't be made to feel bad for 'triggering' your fears. They need to post more than you need to not read their posts.

I often have supported others on both pregnancy and miscarriage threads who are worried about losing their pregnancy. I suppose I could report threads and asked them to be moved elsewhere, but I'm not that miserable yet. I'm 39+3 so I won't need to be frequenting the pregnancy board for much longer, I hope.

then you should have more compassion for people with bigger things on their minds than whether the topic is strictly accurate enough for people with too much time on their hands.

Well, you have missed my point. It is in general, there are lots of threads posted about things that are not pregnancy related, not just miscarriage. To be accused as someone who is insensitive to people struggling with possibly losing their pregnancies, is ludicrous, given what I have been through and how I have supported others on threads and private messages with next steps and testing.

I'm not going to say anymore now since people seem to be latching on to one particular point of this discussion which couldn't be further from the truth and it's winding me up.

YABU I could understand if say someone had posted about car parts in the pregnancy topic but when the threads are relating to babies while the poster is pregnant it can be relevant. As someone else said there are threads that could be classed under a few topics. Does it really matter? If it does, don't look at them or get them moved.

I'd like to stop AIBU abuse, fat chance of that, though.

Personally I like the fact that we're reminded how common m/c is, because I think it makes m/c much worse if you think it's just you had to deal with it, if you don't realise how terribly common it is. Also, until I read so many m/c threads I had no idea it was so upsetting; my mother had lots of m/c and never found any of them upsetting. Because no one else talked to me about it, I didn't realise it could be so difficult to go thru until I read about it so much online.

YABU. No one wants to talk about that shit except other pregnant people * with the exception of the sadder topics, obviously.

HTH

I think sometimes people find Mumsnet for the first time when something has gone wrong and they are in need of support, as I did when I had a pretty late miscarriage. No one really talks about miscarriage in RL and it can be a very lonely time. I posted something on pregnancy - it was the first time I'd been on the boards and I wouldn't do that now. I've stayed with Mumsnet through this (so far, healthy!) PG and understand now that it would have been much better placed elsewhere.