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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to worry about hosting a Dinner Party alone?

27 replies

RuleBritannia · 17/03/2012 14:58

This is only the third time I've had a dinner party since my DH died. It's a lot more work with only one person doing it. I will be entertaining five people tonight and think I have everything ready - table set, things plated where desirable, and saucepans full with meat ready to go into the oven. BUt I'm sure I will have forgotten something. I want it to be perfect to show that I can do it.

OP posts:

GleamingHeels · 17/03/2012 15:02

Of course YANBU to worry a tiny bit,but if you forget something the nice people (I assume that you didn't invite any not-nice people) that you've invited will totally understand, and quite probably lend a hand if you can bear to let them. Good on you for making the effort!

McHappyPants2012 · 17/03/2012 15:07

Yanbu if I went to someone's home for a dinner party it would not be about the food but being in good company and having a good time.

Sorry for the loss of your husband and good luck with your dinner party

LaurieFairyCake · 17/03/2012 15:09

Ah bless and so sorry for your loss

would it make you feel better to say that my dh's only contribution to dinner parties is to get inappropriate sauces out of the fridge and onto the table - like Co-op tomato sauce and Sainsburys barbecue - for beef bourgignon?

He also once offered someone cider and gave them a glass of cooking cider - they were too polite to say anything and I didn't notice til they'd almost finished it.

Have a few drinks and remember they are to see you (and I'm sure you're lovely) and not your nouvelle cuisine.

Seabright · 17/03/2012 15:12

Understandable to be nervous, but if table is already set, you sound very organised & the perfect hostess. Reward yourself with a long bath and a good book!

WorraLiberty · 17/03/2012 15:14

You sound like you've got everything in hand OP, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Even if things take a little longer or whatever, no-one's going to starve and I'm sure they'll appreciate all the effort.

HalfPastWine · 17/03/2012 15:16

Don't be nervous, your guests are coming to see you, not to judge you like some 'Come Dine with Me' show. If you gave them fish and chips out of newspaper they'd still be happy. It's your company that's more important. Have a great time

GleamingHeels · 17/03/2012 15:18

Things get forgotten/go wrong even with more than one host- just try and relax and go with the flow - people are coming to see you and enjoy the food and the evening, you're not running a £150 per head restaurant

I'm sorry for the loss of your DH, it must be hard doing things that you used to do as a partnership, but do try to enjoy your evening.

Now RB tell us what you're cooking

Original poster

RuleBritannia · 17/03/2012 15:19

Thank you, everyone. Well, none of my guests has to go to work tomorrow so it will probably be a late night. I think about things like - have I enough bottles of wine except the half bottle that's gone somewhere, is the cream-cheese-filled roll of smoked salmon each enough or should I have put out more? Things like that.

OP posts:

sandyboots · 17/03/2012 15:22

YANBU sounds lovely and well done for having the dinner party wish I was coming

GleamingHeels · 17/03/2012 15:30

You sound like a very thoughtful host, but don't go overthinking any more things - the guests will probably bring wine, if it runs out you can run-round to the co-op/club together for a taxi to get more... both smoked salmon and cream cheese are surprisingly filling - a little goes a long way

Original poster

RuleBritannia · 17/03/2012 15:31

GleamingHeels

Menu:
Nibbles ready for arrival. Mixed nuts and raisins in one bowl and a plate of French canapes from Makro and delicious.
Starter: slice of smoked salmon spread with Philadelphia and rolled up then sprinled with black pepper and put on a small pile of packet cut-up salad. A small bowl (I typed bowel! ) of mixed-dips for them to take a spoonful if they like.
Main course: Roast quails and bacon with roast potatoes, julienne carrots and broccoli, gravy, plum jelly
Pudding: I gave them semolina last time. Pecan and maple meringue roulade with cream.
Cheese and biscuits with butter.
Cups of tea or coffee with chocolate mint things. When my son last visited, he had a cup of our coffee and turned his nose up at it. I'm not a coffee drinker so hope the guests choose tea.

Don't think I've spent a lot on it because a lot of the above were prepacked - like the meringue roulade and the broccoli is frozen. Anyone can peel potatoes or cut up carrots. The only things to cook are the meat and vegetables. Oh and I'll have to put the kettle on towards the end.

Thank you for your thoughts about my DH. It is some months since he died (I don't like the 'passed away' phrase) but doing things alone is always hard when others do it in twos - as I used to do. But lide does not stop, does it?

OP posts:

DoMeDon · 17/03/2012 15:34

YABU to be worried - you've got it all under control and it sounds lovely. I am willing to come and help if I can get a free quail

Original poster

RuleBritannia · 17/03/2012 15:37

*life

OP posts:

Panda1234 · 17/03/2012 15:44

Sorry for your loss. Your menu sounds lovely.

I quite like having the odd fondue or raclette - because guests are involved in cooking their own then it's less work!

Flatbread · 17/03/2012 15:49

Rule, really sorry for your loss. I understand how one gets so used to tag teaming at a dinner party. My husband makes the jokes, small talk and serves drinks, freeing me to focus on the main meal.

Your menu sounds lovely. When i am hosting alone I usually ask one of the male guests to be in charge of the drinks and another close friend to top up the nibbles. That leaves me free to mingle with the guests and appear all relaxed.

Original poster

RuleBritannia · 17/03/2012 15:58

DoMeDon One quail would not be enough but you could have one of mine if you do the washing up. I haven't a dishwasher.

Flatbread I'll ask one of the men if he'll do the drinks.

I'll make a timetable about what I shpould do every 15 mins. The potatoes are already parboiled so I just jhave to put them into the oven about 1.5 hours before they will be neded - that sort of things. Yes, I'll do that.

OP posts:

Threeprinces · 17/03/2012 16:57

Sounds fab, I hope it goes well and you can relax. Remember they are coming to enjoy your company primarily and good food is just a bonus.

Have fun!

Driftwood999 · 17/03/2012 17:04

Sorry for your loss. Your preparations sound lovely, please don't worry, concentrate on enjoying your guests' company and take up any offers of help. kitchen sink gossip is always the best Have a sit down and rest before they arrive. Enjoy.

QuickLookBusy · 17/03/2012 17:06

Your menu sounds lovely RuleBritannia.

I'm sure it will go well and I hope you manage to relax a little and enjoy yourself too.

Kennyp · 17/03/2012 17:28

It all sounds lovely :), really thoughtful. It will all be fine. Your friends are there to see you. There is a thread skmewhere on mn about dinner party disasters. mine is horrendously horrendous

I am so sorry to hear about your husband, that is awful.
I hope you have a great night.

Original poster

RuleBritannia · 18/03/2012 10:48

Thank you all for your good wishes. It did go quite well with one or two blips.

(a) The salad with the smoked salmon was a bit limp so I had prepared and plated it too early.
(b) I hadn't put the quails in the oven early enough so there was a period of chat and wine/beer before I could put them on the table.
(c) We ran out of wine at about half past midnight.

Everything else went swimmingly. All the Makro canapes went like hotcakes although I'd defrosted them too early. The smoked salmon was liked. The quails were a surprise to everyone (two each because they are so small) and the meat was enjoyed but I won't use quails again because there's so little meat on them. The birds in the garden have all the remains of them. I'd done at least seven roast potatoes each and they all went with some guests having seconds because I make them well done, very brown and crisp. The pudding disappeared they thought I'd made it but I'd put the Asda box outside and one guest took home the last bit for her daughter. Good, it means I wasn't tempted to have it for breakfast.
Bees and chiskets went with lots of chat and discussion about controversial public matters like tax and a local building site.

The friends must have enjoyed it because they didn't leave until 1.30am. I've done all the clearing up this morning but have loads of seldom used china and cutlery to put away.

I'll get some more wine in and you may have a glass extra each.

OP posts:

GleamingHeels · 18/03/2012 10:57

Sounds like an excellent evening, when's the next one? consults diary

fionabruise · 18/03/2012 11:04

well done OP sounds like a brilliant night for all and brilliant morning for the garden birds!
god there's nothing better than that natural high and feeling of relief after hosting a lovely night especially when you've been a bit dreading it.

Threeprinces · 18/03/2012 11:34

Glad it went well and you all had fun :-)

Flatbread · 18/03/2012 12:59

wow! sounds like a real success! well done you

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