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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stupid and trivial but bugging me....just one way or the other

36 replies

MyLittleMiracle · 16/03/2012 21:27

Years ago a boyfriend at the time told me one thing that has stuck with me, and i dreamt of him last night (nothing filthy)

He said that i "would always allow myself to love too deeply, and suffer for it"

I keep wondering now if this was a compliment or a criticism. Either way he was right. Cheers Ad! Just wanted to know what other people think or am i over thinking about this/him?

OP posts:
JustHecate · 16/03/2012 21:32

in what context did he say it? Do you want honesty?

Sounds like a 'blowing you off' sort of thing. or an 'I'm not really that into you' sort of thing.

I have no idea whether it was a compliment or criticism. It does sound poncetastic to me though Grin It's the sort of thing someone would come out with if they fancied themselves as all deep and shit.

abrakebabra · 16/03/2012 21:34

It really doesn't sound like a compliment to me.

fussbucket · 16/03/2012 21:36

Was it in the 80's? Did have a flowery shirt and fashionably ripped jeans and secretly wish he was Morrissey? If so I think he may have been two timing you with me! Cos' it sounds horribly familiar...

Original poster
MyLittleMiracle · 16/03/2012 21:40

No, i am sorry i was barely born in the 80's! God he must of got it off his dad, and we continued dating for two years. We did split and of course i miss him. It just doesnt make sense, its sort of a compliment, and a criticism and advice in one really! stupid

OP posts:
Trills · 16/03/2012 21:43

It doesn't sound especially like a compliment or a criticism.

Were you about 17 and was he a pretentious arse?

Trills · 16/03/2012 21:43

Oh, and you haven't actually asked if you are being unreasonable, but I will say YABU to be thinking about this years on. Don't take what random men say so seriously.

JustHecate · 16/03/2012 21:45

"pretentious arse"

yup.

That's it in a nutshell Grin

Original poster
MyLittleMiracle · 16/03/2012 21:47

I was 15 and he was my first love! And we had dated before. I miss him now. We had known each other since we were 3, so not a random bloke!

I just wanted to ask other peoples view cos i jhave never actually worked it out... am i being unreasnably stupid? Or is it cryptic?

OP posts:
JustHecate · 16/03/2012 21:52

No. It's not cryptic. It's just silly, meaningless cringy stuff from someone who was clearly up their arse. Grin

How old was he? I'm thinking teenager too? Bless. Grin

Trills · 16/03/2012 21:52

It's not cryptic.

You are just being silly to think that something must be either a compliment or a criticism.

It depends on whether you think that it would be better to be able to be more detached and so feel things less strongly.

Original poster
MyLittleMiracle · 16/03/2012 21:53

Same age as me! Still miss him :( Oh ad.........

OP posts:
JustHecate · 16/03/2012 21:54

How old are you now?

Stratters · 16/03/2012 21:55

He was 15? Sounds like he'd been sneakily reading his little sister's copy of Sugar.

Original poster
MyLittleMiracle · 16/03/2012 21:57

23! And been married, but he KNEW me inside out, everything there was to know, stuff i have never told anyone else, and wont ever......

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 16/03/2012 22:00

He sounds a bit of a twat tbh

JustHecate · 16/03/2012 22:01

You were fifteen. Just a pair of kids.

The person he knew doesn't exist any more. You are not the person you were at 15. He is not the person he was. Those people are gone.

They grew up.

It's time to let them go.

pictish · 16/03/2012 22:07

Sounds like spraff to me. Grin

I remember the first guy I fell in love with - also 15 - he was two years older. He was always saying pretentious profound things. I was enthralled by him. he used to write short stories about us the complexities of attraction.

Funny thing - I have him on Facebook these days, and he still reckons he's pretty deep - only now he sounds like a right blether. What a tool.

JustHecate · 16/03/2012 22:10
Grin

Oh god, cringy things we've said/had said to us in our yoof.

Someone once told me I used to be the love of his life.

Hmm

Used to be?

Love of his life?

erm..

usualsuspect · 16/03/2012 22:14

Weren't we deep as teenagers Grin

Original poster
MyLittleMiracle · 16/03/2012 22:14

It probably is. I have changed, i have been hurt and tortured. But i suppose i left a part of me with him iykwim?

ANd somethings really do bug me!

OP posts:
JustHecate · 16/03/2012 22:19

You left a part of 15yr old you with a 15 yr old boy?

Is there anything else going on? I am honestly not trying to be rude, but quite often when someone is hankering after some childhood dream, it's because there's something wrong / missing in the here and now.

are you happy? lonely?

AgentZigzag · 16/03/2012 22:57

The MN atmosphere of mistrust at the minute made me look to see if the OP was posting the lyrics from a song it sounds so angsty poetic Grin

Shelby2010 · 16/03/2012 23:32

It says more about the person he thinks he is than anything about you. The criticism is that you were going out with a complete knob, but then we've all been there :)

qazxc · 17/03/2012 08:07

i wouldn't put to much store by dreams they are pretty criptic themselves. and as for what he says seems like the typical sort of things that a teenage boy would say to show how "deep" he is. and then use it to dump you a few weeks later when : you won't put out, you get to clingy, he spots someone else he fancies. None of us are the person we are at fifteen, so i wouldn't get hung up on it TBH.

savoycabbage · 17/03/2012 08:12

Does he by chance work in a fortune cookie factory?

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