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Original poster

To think this is shameful behaviour of wedding venue after couple lose twins?

57 replies

BrightonNim · 15/03/2012 12:36

Sussex wedding venue accuses couple of playing the sympathy card when they cancel/postpone wedding after losing twins:
www.theargus.co.uk/news/9588772.Sussex_wedding_venue_accuses_grieving_couple_of__playing_the_sympathy_card_/

Insensitive, and PR suicide?:

'Colin Munday, owner of the English Wine Centre, told The Argus that he believes he did use the expression ?playing the sympathy card? to Mr Matthews.

He added: ?They have been trying to get money back by using their tragedy and I don?t think that?s morally correct.

?I think that?s disrespectful to their babies.

?It?s very sad but they are not seeing the business point of view.? '

errr...i suspect the business view was far from their minds, but a press statement like that - what was the guy thinking?

OP posts:
pinkappleby · 15/03/2012 15:05

Reading between the lines I suspect what happened was the couple decided to get married quickly after the loss of their children (the article says they got married in the December).

They then contacted the venue and asked to postphone and for their deposit back but didn't tell the venue they had actually already got married - perhaps intending to use the deposit to host a celebration of their wedding in 2013. The owner then learnt they had actually already got married and believed they were just lying to get their deposit back. It would be easy to see how the owner may feel he had been lied to when the booking was for a wedding and the couple had got married somewhere else in the meantime.

Blu · 15/03/2012 15:11

They had already married?
The man is possibly being unfairly villified!

jellybeans · 15/03/2012 15:12

I think it is horrible. having been through 2 stillbirths it took me a good year to get anywhere near normality. Just because he has lost a child himself (if he has) doesn't excuse his awful comments.

LitterPicker · 15/03/2012 15:24

I agree pinkappleby.

It sounds to me as if they had repeatedly called him to find out if he had managed to rebook the date - I imagine he had told them that they could have their deposit back once he had received the deposit from the new couple.

Debeez · 15/03/2012 15:41

jellybeans I agree it must be awful, was there any need for the "if he has" in brackets though. I doubt he'd say he had in a national paper if he hadn't, wouldn't exactly be hard for the truth to come out there.

Nyac · 15/03/2012 15:44

Why is it in the papers? Who put it there.

LitterPicker · 15/03/2012 15:55

My thoughts exactly Nyac.

AThingInYourLife · 15/03/2012 15:55

"A grieving couple have accused a wedding venue of ?profiting from their loss? after the death of their twin sons."

That couple sounds like a right pair of cunts.

The poor fucker they are using the press to bully was right - they are trying to use the loss of their twins to get a refund they are not entitled to.

Profiting from their loss?

Fuck off

They paid a non-refundable deposit. The guy at the hotel shouldn't have to pay them money they are not due just to avoid ridiculous local press bollicks like this.

I wouldn't be cancelling any plans at that venue on the basis of this story. Scurrilous, spiteful bullshit.

Nyac · 15/03/2012 16:04

Yes they're saying pretty awful things about him.

qazxc · 15/03/2012 16:12

tosspot! purely from a business point of view, he has ample time to fill that vacancy therefore not losing out. sometimes for the sake of reputation and goodwill you have to roll with the punches.

AThingInYourLife · 15/03/2012 16:13

Sometimes for the sake of not being steamrollered by a pair of grabby publicity whores you have to say no.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 15/03/2012 16:14

And he told them that when the date was rebooked, he would return their deposit. They want it sooner.

Nyac · 15/03/2012 17:19

Probably most people have very good reasons for cancelling weddings sadly. Which is why venues take a deposit.

LitterPicker · 15/03/2012 17:21

I think the issue here is that when you pay a non refundable* deposit you are made aware that it is exactly that.

There are a lot of people out there who have to cancel weddings for a variety of reasons: deaths of loved ones presumably being one of them. I think that's why so many people take out wedding insurance.

It is unlikely that anyone would cancel a wedding for a minor reason - it would mostly be something quite major like this.

He wasn't actually under any obligation to do anything, but he went out of his way to try to fill the date and said he would give them a refund.

If I had lost my children I just would not give a monkeys about anything else other than giving myself time to grieve Sad.

LitterPicker · 15/03/2012 17:21

Xpost Nyac!

StealthPolarBear · 15/03/2012 17:26

"sometimes for the sake of reputation and goodwill you have to roll with the punches."
blackmail to some extent

iliketea · 15/03/2012 19:31

First thought was that the venue were being awful. Then I read the couple already got married somewhere else, despite saying they were too upset to get married.

A non-refundable deposit is just that, and I would guess if they'd just asked to move the date, the money wouldn't have been a big issue.

What the ownwr said is awful, but going to the paper with your story and them spinning it as if the couple are completely innocent in the whole business is a bit shady.

Icelollycraving · 15/03/2012 20:19

I think there is clearly a lot of info the couple were not upfront about whilst slagging him off. Wedding insurance is relatively cheap & is for situations like this.
It is very sad that they had their loss but tbh he has a point. I feel rather sorry for him. He has offered to refund once their date was filled which is in itself fair. Also,I doubt he would claim he had lost children himself if it wasn't true,so your comment seems unfair jellybeans Hmm

Boomerwang · 15/03/2012 20:26

Non refundable deposits are exactly that. It's an upsetting situation, but businesses have to cover themselves and are within their rights to withhold the deposit.

I had my wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, venue booked with a deposit and some other things and I was lucky to get all my deposits back when my fiance died 8 months before our wedding, but I wouldn't have made a fuss if I couldn't recoup the costs because I know what a non refundable deposit IS.

LitterPicker · 15/03/2012 21:42

Sad so sorry to hear that Boomerwang.

toofattorun · 15/03/2012 22:17

Sent him a message on his website telling him what a twunt he is.

Boomerwang · 15/03/2012 22:50

thanks LitterPicker I was really looking forward to that wedding :)

troisgarcons · 15/03/2012 22:52

He's running a business - normal people take out wedding insurance again possibilities. if he cant re-sell the venue for that day - why should he be out of pocket and his business suffer? Law of the land - contracts stand.

Lueji · 16/03/2012 00:03

Sorry if I am not too sympathetic.

They were not so distraught that they didn't bother about the deposit, and about going to the press. And yes, as troisgarcons mentioned, that's what insurance is for.

The venue owner still has to pay people who work for him, and himself, who may also have children to feed, etc.

The getting married elsewhere might still make sense if it was a smaller event, though.

Icelollycraving · 16/03/2012 06:25

Just read your post boomerwang,so sorry to hear about your dp :(