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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is shameful behaviour of wedding venue after couple lose twins?

57 replies

BrightonNim · 15/03/2012 12:36

Sussex wedding venue accuses couple of playing the sympathy card when they cancel/postpone wedding after losing twins:
www.theargus.co.uk/news/9588772.Sussex_wedding_venue_accuses_grieving_couple_of__playing_the_sympathy_card_/

Insensitive, and PR suicide?:

'Colin Munday, owner of the English Wine Centre, told The Argus that he believes he did use the expression ?playing the sympathy card? to Mr Matthews.

He added: ?They have been trying to get money back by using their tragedy and I don?t think that?s morally correct.

?I think that?s disrespectful to their babies.

?It?s very sad but they are not seeing the business point of view.? '

errr...i suspect the business view was far from their minds, but a press statement like that - what was the guy thinking?

OP posts:
AKMD · 15/03/2012 12:46

YANBU, the man is clearly disconnected with reality. I doubt the couple give a monkey's behind about his commercial interest, more about the complete lack of humane emotion he has displayed in his dealings with them. Fair enough, they had signed a contract, but surely they could have waived the loss of deposit.

scarletforya · 15/03/2012 12:53

What an utter wanker Shock

ripsishere · 15/03/2012 12:55

Suspect he may have lost a lot more than one wedding. What a short sighted insensitive twerp.

UsedToBePretty · 15/03/2012 12:57

I am keeping an open mind on this.

I don't think that the owner of the wine centre should have said that, but I did read that he too has lost children, so he must be familiar with what they are going through.

What I don't understand is that they said that they wanted to postpone their wedding until next year, so why couldn't the money just be transferred to the following year?

Is it the fact that the wine centre will then lose the money for this year?

Or are they cancelling the wedding with them completely? I'm sure they will be now in any case!

RetiredDJ · 15/03/2012 12:58

I can't believe he said ?It?s very sad but they are not seeing the business point of view.? If he had any clue about business he'd know that there will be many couples who refuse to book their wedding there as result of his ridiculous attitude.
What a cock.

fabwoman · 15/03/2012 13:02

"very sad they are not seeing the buisness point of view."

OMG Their babies just died.

PicaK · 15/03/2012 13:04

It sounds to me like it's being spun a little.

What happened to them is awful. But they signed a contract. That's why you have insurance. The venue offered to let them swap dates and not lose the deposit provided another couple took their original date. That sounds quite generous to me. It then seems like they kept ringing the venue to check if anyone else had booked and that's when the owner got shirty. Particularly as they already got married last Dec.

I think his choice of words suggests he was hassled and showed v poor customer service and great insensitivity on one occasion. But I don't think he should be hounded for it. He has a business to run, people relying on him to pay wages and bills.

Blu · 15/03/2012 13:12

The things he said are horrible. I HATE the use of 'playing the * card', it's always an unpleasant dismissive thing to say, whether about race, disability - or now, sympathy.

Having said that I'm not sure non-returnable deposits should necessarily dissolve. You would have thought he would have waived it if they booked for a later date.

His whole sense of PR and customer service obviously needs adjusting.

ratspeaker · 15/03/2012 13:16

I have every sympathy over the loss of their babies, such a horrible traumatic time.
BUT they did get married elsewhere
So they cant really use the loss of their babies as the excuse to not use the venue.
I think the venue owner should have chosen his words far more carefully though

BupcakesandCunting · 15/03/2012 13:16

Good grief. What an arsehole.

UsedToBePretty · 15/03/2012 13:21

I think what happened to them is awful, truly awful.

And I think that the man's choice of words were in very poor taste, but like PicaK says, it doesn't seem like something that someone would just come out and say.

There is also a part fo me that feels that if I lost my children, the last thing on my mind would be pursuing £1200. No amount of money would bring my babies back. I wonder if perhaps that's what he was trying to say, bearing in mind the fact that he has lost children of his own?

porcamiseria · 15/03/2012 13:21

he's a cunt

BUT business is business, its prime wedding season

poor poor couple though, awful

ChuffMuffin · 15/03/2012 14:09

What an utter cunt of a man.

PS, as you're such an amazing businessman, I'm sure you don't need me to point out that by refusing to refund their deposit you're now going to business worth a lot more than £1,200. Would have been cheaper (and a lot fucking kinder) to refund them, you heartless greedy bastard.

ChuffMuffin · 15/03/2012 14:09

to lose business that should be Blush

ajandjjmum · 15/03/2012 14:20

It doesn't quite add up though does it. He was heartless to make that comment, but he said they'd been deceitful too, which makes me think there's more to the story.

Won't have done his business any good though.

ddubsgirl · 15/03/2012 14:21

i left a comment on the argus page yesterday :( total wanker!

LitterPicker · 15/03/2012 14:23

I agree it doesn't add up.

I'd be interested to hear his full side of the story.

Debeez · 15/03/2012 14:33

He said the couple had been rude and said: 'They were trying to get the full deposit back and were accusing me of being dishonest'.
He said: 'They have been trying to get money back by using their tragedy and I don?t think that?s morally correct'.
'I was totally sympathetic as I too have lost two sons.
'Far from profit from their loss I have incurred time and cost in rebooking the date they had chosen and have written and offered them a refund.
'I have made effort to mitigate their loss. They have omitted to include the wrong accusations they made in a letter to myself and have used their emotions in the press release rather than the actual facts.'

I think there's more to this than meets the eye. They went and got married elsewhere, were offered a new date too. Most deposits are non refundable regardless of circumstances and I think this guys done more than he has to for them and they're still on at him. If I'd lost two sons and was trying to help out someone in the same scenario I'd probably lose my rag at someone waving it in my face.

NarkedPuffin · 15/03/2012 14:33

Muppet man. He could have returned the deposit and hired out the room to another couple - there was plenty of time. Instead he has just cost the venue a lot more than a £1,200 deposit! They'll lose that in dinner bookings alone with this kind of negative publicity, and I'd imagine it will cost them a few wedding bookings too.

ariadne1 · 15/03/2012 14:34

a non refundable deposit is what it says non-refundable. I think it's a bit off them going to the papers to whine about it.They signed a contract Why should the owner be £1200 out of pocket rather than the couple, when they are the ones who have changed their minds.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 15/03/2012 14:34

He made some horrible comments, but just because he is a twat, that doesn't make his side of the argument wrong.

A non refundable deposit is a non refundable deposit, the couple were chancing their luck by even asking for it back. Especially if they then went on to get married somewhere else.

He's right that they aren't looking at it from a business point of view. I also agree with UsedToBePretty.

NarkedPuffin · 15/03/2012 14:40

He's not looking at it from a business point of view. Reputation is worth more than £1,200. Rights and wrongs don't matter if customers stop coming through the door.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 15/03/2012 14:50

He wasn't to know that this couple would take it to the papers though. But I suspect there will be enough people that will sympathise with his POV anyway.

LitterPicker · 15/03/2012 14:54

'Far from profit from their loss I have incurred time and cost in rebooking the date they had chosen and have written and offered them a refund.'

I'm really at a loss as to what more he could have done?

SydSaid · 15/03/2012 14:57

They lost their babies in October, decided they didn't want to get married until 2013 - and then got marries in December instead?

Their loss is awful, I'm not disputing that - but I think he has a point!