To scream and stamp my feet?

[ProfCoxWouldGetIt]

My (D?) Mother would not allow me to lick the marg off her hot x bun, I didn't want to eat it, just lick the margerine off, but they way she reacted you would have thought I wanted to eat the whole thing, so I decided to scream at her and stamp my feet and she just kept saying no.

She also had very little sympathy for me when I woke up at 5:30 this morning because I'd had a bad dream about D Daddy stealing my cakes again, and told me to go back to sleep. Even my cries telling her I had done a big stinky poo, just resulted in her coming in and checking my nappy, and then telling me there was no poo (Well of course there wasn't I would know if there was) and to go back to bed.

Daddy is now building my trainset for me, but I'll wait for him to finish before telling him I don't really want to play with it.

WIBU?

Junior Prof (aged 2.5)

Not at all, infact i'd be straight onto SS as soon as you can reach the phone.

You have no idea how relieved I was to read Junior Prof (aged 2.5)

I can now delete the image of your possible stinky bedtime poo from my mind

Or can I?

Stick something in the DVD player. That'll teach 'em.

They've hung the phone on the wall because I kept phoning grandma, she's cool, and when I answered the phone I would hang up when I was finished and not tell them who was on the phone.

I have too many toys to play with to worry about who is phoning, and besides doesn't everyone want to just speak to me?

Will nobody think of the poor parents!

Go draw on the walls with lipstick. It will make mummy very happy

Leave the bastards!

I think you were most restrained Junior Prof. Did you not consider stamping your feet all over the buttered buns your mother had the bloomin' cheek to consider hers?

The DVD player is off limits, and is kept in a locked cabinet after I sat on the thing that slides out - it looked like a seat...?

oooh, but mummy did let me play with a pink lipstick that she had, which is still hiding in my secret stash in my room (mummy has no idea where it is - tee hee) I think the walls could do with a touch of pink.

@Worra - there wasn't a real poo, but I know a poo in bed always makes mummy come running :)

Do a revenge poo. Lay the biggest log you can right in the middle of a preferably carpeted area.
If this fails, just whine like a droning bee. This will wear them down. You can break the bastards!

I can't believe your 'D'M fobbed you off with margerine! It's got to be butter or nothing on hot cross buns.

How do you put up with her?

@Pandemoniaa I've done that before, I ended up in the naughty corner for 2 whole minutes :( but the cats seemed to like the squashed bun)

Yes do what Stripy suggests! Mark your territory!
May I suggest also pooing in 'hidden' areas so Mummy can't find it straight away? Under the stairs? Behind a door? Under the dining table!

Marg???

Ring childline NOW!!!

Do a huge poo and take off your nappy and tread the contents into the floor. It's the only way she'll learn.

@VermiciousKnid I'm so glad people see how badly I'm treated, I might have to see if I can escape out the back door and live with the chickens next door, they're funny

Poo in her shoe? A nice squashy one should do it. :)

oooh - I like the poo hiding game, mummy goes a funny green colour when I put my hand in my nappy and tell her it's tasty.
(she's an odd one, she'll drink fake tea and eat cardboard cakes, but not poo..?)

Next door's chicken are probably treated better than you, you poor thing. :(

Just a word of warning though. I don't want to upset you, but after a nightly visit by the not so fantastic Mr Fox we only have a few chicken left. :(

I think you should spend today standing where your mum wants to stand. Particular favourites include next to the sink during washing up and whenever any food preparation is going on. Really go for it when she's cooking something hot.

The best technique is to put your feet slightly on hers and then wrap one arm around her knees making balance difficult. When she tries to dislodge you, put all your weight against her and go floppy. She will stumble. And she will likely say oh ffs. Repeat as required.

Dear Junior Prof, this is Grandbaby of Pandemoniaa here.

I'm wondering if you've tried alternative tactics yet. Only I find that a winning smile and doing the cute thing with my hands under my chin often fools these unreasonable buffoons parents/grandparents into assuming I'm listening. Sometimes I've managed to climb nearly all the way to the top of the bookcase before they've realised I'm still Up To No Good At All. If I start wailing too quickly, I give the game away before any real damage is done.
HTH.

@BuckBuck I think I'll try that, mummy always tries to lock me out of the kitchen, but doesn't know I can open the gate now because I'm a big girl :)

@VermiciousKnid Mr ChickenMan (next door) was in trouble with mummy because he let me stroke a fox that was sleeping because he tried to play with the chickens, he was very soft and pretty and I don't know why mummy was so cross with him.

Yanbu. this is what you need to do to pay the bitch mummy back, go and find your sudo area. and smear it everywhere its very oily so won't come off easily

Sudocream