To scream and stamp my feet?

[ProfCoxWouldGetIt]

My (D?) Mother would not allow me to lick the marg off her hot x bun, I didn't want to eat it, just lick the margerine off, but they way she reacted you would have thought I wanted to eat the whole thing, so I decided to scream at her and stamp my feet and she just kept saying no.

She also had very little sympathy for me when I woke up at 5:30 this morning because I'd had a bad dream about D Daddy stealing my cakes again, and told me to go back to sleep. Even my cries telling her I had done a big stinky poo, just resulted in her coming in and checking my nappy, and then telling me there was no poo (Well of course there wasn't I would know if there was) and to go back to bed.

Daddy is now building my trainset for me, but I'll wait for him to finish before telling him I don't really want to play with it.

WIBU?

Junior Prof (aged 2.5)

Grandbaby of Pandemoniaa I hadn't thought of that - it's been a long time since I climbed out the front window, and it's so nice outside that daddy has left the windows open.

oooh mummy's cooking lunch, I hope it's pasta and gravy, she keeps trying to make me eat "healthy" but healthy tastes worse than poo

@LoopyLou6 - do you think I could make a smurf hat with sudocream or should I paint the cat white?

You not missing much with marge, but it is was butter, then there'd be real issues. I would definitely go for a random poo somewhere. My mummy found the one in the washing machine particularly unpleasant.

My evil mother doesn't understand that me screaming for 10 minutes because I don't want a shower, doesn't actually mean that I don't want a shower. Of course, when she gets me in the shower then she can't get me out and I'll scream for another ten minutes then too. Don't even get me started when she pulls out the hairdryer. You'd think she'd have learnt by now but still she insists.

She now bleating on about lunchtime, and has taken my cake off me and apparently I can't get it back until after I've eaten my lunch.

But what she doesn't know is that while she was getting ready I glued the inside of her make up bag and bits together. Oh what fun she'll have this afternoon trying to get the glue off her makeup.

Maybe then she'll know whose really in charge.

JuniorReindeer (2.10)

Do you think you could sneak off for a few minutes, find her favourite makeup and smear it all over the bedroom? She'll think you look so cute covered in foundation, powder and lipstick from head to toe. And she'll particularly love it if you leave hand and footprints on every surface.

You poor poor child. Come and live with me, I'd give you proper butter. None of that one molecule removed from plastic shite called margerine.
Somthing else worth considering is going into the bathroom and finding out whether mummy is a tampon (small white pointy things) or a towel (long flat thin things) user.
If it the pointy, open at least ten and put the down the toilet. if towels, remove the backing and using the magic power of sticky backing, decorate wherever looks drab.

them, put them down the toilet.
Both worked for my DD around your age.

if towels, remove the backing and using the magic power of sticky backing, decorate wherever looks drab

This is an excellent idea. I think it would be best to decorate an area near the front door, ideally just before visitors are due to arrive.

I'm going to have to wait for daddy to go into the kitchen then will make a dash to the bathroom, and find these things you speak of, they sound like so much fun, why would mommy hide these from me?

And what is it with parents and naps? I'm a big girl and don't need naps, I spend ages at the door shouting "no nap", but they refuse to listen, so I teach them a lesson by being grumpy and whingey all afternoon, until they try bribe me with sweeties :)

You sound a lot like my DD. Fortunately she is old enough to recognise when I am playing games and when I am not.
When she was your age, it was me who had to learn
Ladies special time things weren't hidden. I just never expected her to be curious enough to pull them all out of the cuboard under the sink.
Those that could be stuck onto walls were. Just inside the front door.
Hopefully you won't be so enchanted with the expansion of the pointy ones that you insist on taking one into the bath with you every night.

ripishere - do you run training courses for other mummies? I think mine could learn a lot from you.

It's purely benign neglect. Nothing to teach. It's made the girl the person she is today. Tampon and sticker obsessed it seems.

I like stickers :)

mommy gets cross when I stick them on her computer

when mummy says no, go and ask daddy. .

I have had a lot of success with pooing in the bath. Every night. It's great. I get in, I poo, mommy says some bad words, hoists me out of bath and then spends some time with a special poo sieve whilst I say 'there's another one. You've missed one. There's one there' etc.
Then I have to have a second bath because of being bathed in poo and sometimes I manage to poo a little bit more! Then I get a third bath. Ask me before my bath though and I will deny needing the toilet. It's brilliant.

Teeny regrets 2.10

I tried the poo in the bath last week, unfortunately I told mummy as it was coming out and she popped me straight onto the toilet, so it all went in there, but she did make me have a shower afterwards.

Mummy did seem very happy that I had done a poo in the toilet, but I now refuse and pretend to be scared of my potty, she's so easy to wind up.

After shouting that I wanted to see my best friend all day, daddy finally took me to the park, and I refused to talk or play with my friend (she lost her monkey and I won't trust her with mine now)

YABU putting marge on a hot cross bun, bokey boak, get some butter!

LittleMissTerryPratchett here. I hid DF's access key to work in the washing machine. That means that everyone has to stay at home, hooray. While DM and DF were looking I managed to move the computer chair, climb up to the counter and play with DM's iPooed player.

You are an amateur, I'm afraid. And, I'm only 1 and a bit.