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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be a bit freaked out by being copied...

39 replies

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 20:31

hello - OK go easy on me I'm a lurker - I'm still getting my head around the abbreviations!

So I have a problem, I have a person who copies lots of things I do, clothes, shoes, jeans (down to the brand) handbags - hunts down the exact same bag from ebay if it's not in the shops - Hair colour, hair cut, coats.

Moved to be in the same area, gardening wise same plants, trees.

Children wise same wellies, boots, shoes, coats.

House wise, same wallpaper, paint colours etc.

Holidays

It seems like no part of my life isn't copied, actually car, I'm safe with my car!

Its fine and laughable for a while but this has now being going on for about 2 years and I've really had enough, to the point people stopped her to talk thinking it was me from the back.

I'm totally 100% happy with who I am what I stand for how I parent and all aspects of my life I enjoy life to the full, but this is really bothering me, so much so I counted the individual items and it totals 16 exact copies, and many many more similar ones -on a whole I could discount some items as just life and similar tastes, but even with that I think I'm being stalked.

Should I ask them to stop and have it out??? or just ignore get on with life and dye my hair blue??

OP posts:

Bangtastic · 14/03/2012 20:33

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so they say.

Wear an outrageous wig out and about when you know they will see... wait for them to copy with real hair, remove wig, hope they learnt their lesson.

CatVonB · 14/03/2012 20:36

Fake lip piercing? Fake face tattoo?

bobbledunk · 14/03/2012 20:37

Can you tell her to stop copying you? yanbu to be freaked out by this behaviour, in fact you have been remarkably tolerant to put up with this for two years! It is very strange, does she have mental health problems? Maybe she doesn't feel she has a clue when it comes to getting anything right and can't go wrong if she mimics you.

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 20:38

Ohh getting the grin thingie - yes me and hubbie have hatched up a few plans, so we have fun but you know sometime I wish she would just piss off!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 20:39

Bobbledunk she is my neighbour, so I have to tread carefully as we are planning on living here a long time - she moved house to be next door - I know now I'm writing it down it's even bothering me more.

OP posts:

ChitChatFlyingby · 14/03/2012 21:09

Send her bankrupt - borrow clothes and accessories from other people for yourself and your DC, and mention their label to her and let her try and buy copies of all of them!!!

Buy a short wig, in your natural hair colour so that it looks real, wait for her to get her hair cut and then go back to your natural hair.

Love the fake tattoo idea!!!!

Ps - the copied thread was a lame joke on someone 'copying everything you do'.

CatVonB · 14/03/2012 21:11

which wasn't by me, I hasten to add...

ceeveebee · 14/03/2012 21:11

Hi cabbage, Hopefully some more posters will be along soon with some advice

How do you know this person, is she an old school friend? Can you just cut all ties with her then she can't copy you as she won't know what you're up to?

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 21:17

we met when I moved to the area 3 years back same school run and then she moved to be my neighbour!! having said - I want your lifestlye!! GULP should of seen it coming really.. It's just so strange I do sort of become not bothered until the next things crops up, and only recently have I added it all up - it's starting to really freak me out now!!

Loving the suggestions chitchatflyingby i do to some extent do that without intention as I run a business and love treating myself when times are good, me and DH like having fun with our incomes and the jeans were the big deal as I know they were really out of her reach.

OP posts:

Eglu · 14/03/2012 21:17

IF she moved nearer to you, was she already a neighbour? Or did you know her before that?

It must be incredibly frustrating, expecially as she lives next door, so you can't just tell her to fuck off. I'm afraid I have no adivce, other than agreeing eith the funny suggestions above.

Eglu · 14/03/2012 21:19

x-post, she sounds like a bit of a loony. Is she a clingy friend or does she just want to be you?

Dawndonna · 14/03/2012 21:20

We had someone do this to us. She was really strange and when we wouldn't tell her where items of clothing had come from, she'd pounce on the kids and hold them whilst she checked out the labels. A few of us got together and started putting my dds in different outfits every half an hour. I kid you not, we did it every half hour for two days. You should have seen her face when they came out of nursery in different clothes, we even had a contact in there! Anyway, it didn't stop, but it did lessen significantly.

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 21:21

no - the house came up next to us and we'd met through school runs, she heard it had come up and did everything in her power to get it - upheaved the whole family really pushed budgets beyond to get it. it's rented and they rented out their house in order to move at a loss..

OP posts:

JustHecate · 14/03/2012 21:22

get yourself a bald cap.

[evil]

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 21:23

I've backed off to be fair shes friendly and well liked so I had no reason not to chat and be nice to her - she moved in and it was all good, but this has all just increased over time, and i've noticed more and more things.. But I put it down to silly things but then when you start to look at it as a whole it becomes a large thing!!

OP posts:

JustHecate · 14/03/2012 21:23

Actually, joking aside, she sounds unhinged.

I'd seriously consider moving. And not telling her where.

ChitChatFlyingby · 14/03/2012 21:24

Wow, that is obsessed! If she's at the limit to what she can afford she will probably make herself bankrupt.

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 21:25

justhecate funny you should say that I've considered moving!!

OP posts:

curiositykitten · 14/03/2012 21:25

For someone you don't really like, you seem to have quite indepth knowledge of her financial situation?

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 21:26

the wallpaper freaked me out too -it's on the same wall too and it's so not her style!!

OP posts:

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 21:29

curiositykitten I do know from conversations work /life decisions and values that paying that much for something would of been not a normal decision. I also did like the lady, we talk we are neighbours do school runs and have done for the last 3 years, so I'm not unfriendly just don't go out of my way to meet socially...

OP posts:

KeepingAwayFromTheJoneses · 14/03/2012 21:29

Would it be very bad to tell her you were moving to a new development (with lots of availability so she can follow you), then stick a swiped sold sign up outside your house?

JustHecate · 14/03/2012 21:29

I think you should.

Have you ever seen Single White Female.

ooh, or you could just buy her that DVD for her birthday.

And christmas.

Every year.

Original poster

cabbagesoup · 14/03/2012 21:30

justhecate do I need to see that film?? never watched it!

OP posts:

ENormaSnob · 14/03/2012 21:32

I have a friend that has started doing this to me.

She is lovely and I really like her but I can't stand being copied.

It is really starting to get to me

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