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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH is lying

48 replies

deliakate · 12/03/2012 19:47

Called him x2 on his mobile this evening and it rang out, so I gave up. He called me back about half an hour later, saying he's just been stuck in a tunnel for 20 mins between two tube stations.

So why did it ring if you were underground - I say. Hmm, weird - he replies.

I feel sus so I call TFL - no reported delays and the chap said he would def know about a 20 min delay as it would have a massive knock on effect on the whole line.

AIBU to think he is bullshitting me. He will NEVER admit to this. Arrrgggg.

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 12/03/2012 19:49

pack his bags and have them ready and waiting on the doorstep when he gets in with the locks changed, and the joint bank emptied

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2012 19:49

Well according to TFL he is bullshitting you so I suppose it's a case of finding out why.

Casmama · 12/03/2012 19:50

Do you have other reason to mistrust him?

DinahMoHum · 12/03/2012 19:50

have you got a special reason not to trust him?

rhondajean · 12/03/2012 19:51

I'd like to think he was off getting your mothers day present.

Shutupanddrive · 12/03/2012 19:51

Why are you checking up on him? What do you think he is up to?

LaurieFairyCake · 12/03/2012 19:51

He may not be lying, 5 minutes feels like ages stuck on a tube.

My phone has 'rung' but I haven't heard it on the tube.

Original poster
deliakate · 12/03/2012 19:52

He just isn't that truthful a person, I don't think. No idea what he's up to, I don't really care. But am pissed about being lied to.

OP posts:
dreamingofsun · 12/03/2012 19:52

it rings at my son's school where the network is blocked, so i guess it would do the same if he was in a tunnel. I guess it depends who you believe the most, the TFL man or your husband. maybe i'm dim, but i wouldn't even consider that my husband was doing anything wrong if this happened. are there other signs that he's doing things he shouldn't or are you just untrusting?

AlbertoFrog · 12/03/2012 19:52

Sounds to me as if you were suspicious anyway. I wouldn't think to question DH if he gave me a reason for not answering his phone and I've never checked up.

Has he got previous?

catgirl1976 · 12/03/2012 19:53

It seems odd you would ring TFL if this was the first and only thing that had happened to make you feel suspcious so I think there must be more to it than this. It really seems like you don't trust him. Possibly with good reason and TFL seem to void his story, but as Laurie said the 20 min could have been an exaggeration or his percepetion

hmmmmmmmmm · 12/03/2012 20:03

Your DH takes 30 min to return a call and you ring TFL to check his story? There are a lot of issues there, whether he was actually in a tunnel is a very minor part of it.

ENormaSnob · 12/03/2012 20:03

Why are you suspicious?

There must be a back story to this.

YellowDinosaur · 12/03/2012 20:10

Yea there must be a back story - my dh was away with work recently and I couldn't get hold of him all evening because he had forgotten to take his phone off silent after being in meetings all day. I was irritated but it didn't cries my mind to think he was hiding anything.

Either there is a back story (either with him or how you have been treated in past relationships) which is relevant in deciding if yabu or not, or there is no back story in which case yabu for being so suspicious about nothing.

AnyFucker · 12/03/2012 20:26

You sound strangely emotionally-dead about this

are you ok ?

FreudianSlipper · 12/03/2012 20:35

a liar is always one step ahead. if he is not a truthful person you have to accept that or break free you can not live life second guessing all the time

or if this is just a one off forget it and move on

SoldeInvierno · 12/03/2012 21:08

I hope my DH doesn't think like you. I often see missed calls from him 4 or 5 hours later. And by then I don't return them, as I am seeing him soon, anyway. Have you got reasons to mistrust him?

antlerqueen · 12/03/2012 22:11

But Solde, do you lie to your dp about why you missed the calls?

Original poster
deliakate · 13/03/2012 07:33

There's not really a back story, other than that he is capable of lying point blank to my face about things I know are true. Its disorientating and annoying - he is a lawyer though, so what did I expect!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 13/03/2012 07:40

There's not really a back story just that he's a lawyer and his lips are moving

That must be really annoying - I'd try to talk to him when you're calm. Lying gives people something - a feeling of the upper hand, control, something else? , habit maybe.

Either way it probably feels disrespected to be on the end of it

Bibbo · 13/03/2012 07:47

if he's a lawyer he'd have come up with much better bullshit than that

WipsGlitter · 13/03/2012 07:52

So is it just that he habitually lies to you? Or do you suspect he was up to no good?

FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 13/03/2012 08:02

There has to be backstory of some kind, even if you aren't ready to acknowledge that. Otherwise you wouldn't have felt the need to check on him. There is a reason you don't trust him, so trust your instincts (and TFL) instead.

Icelollycraving · 13/03/2012 08:46

I would be pretty pissed off if my dh rang tfl to check up on me for missing 2 calls in a reasonably short time. If a woman said on here that their dp had done this,we would all think he was a control freak etc.
Without full story I can't say whether yabu or not,but you do sound quite detached about it.

AnyFucker · 13/03/2012 09:34

he sounds like an arsehole

why would you stay with someone you know you cannot trust ?