to not organise "formal" childcare for summer holidays

[redskyatnight]

We have 2 DC - 8 and 6. DH works f/t. I work p/t for 4.5 hours each weekday (normally within school hours, but my manager is usually receptive to requests to change this).

We have the usual working parent problem of covering school holidays (and have no family help). This year, after juggling and "child swapping" with other parents, we are short of 3 weeks cover for the summer (may be able to child-swap odd extra day). In the past we've covered this by using a local holiday club, however last year DS complained that the club was a bit babyish (although the club takes children up to age 12, in practice they are mainly younger children). Our only other local holiday clubs are all sports based and neither DC is sporty.

DH has suggested for the problem 3 week period, he will work at home, I will go into work early and be home by 1.30 at the latest. The idea would be that the DC can amuse themselves in the morning, then they can have lunch with him, then I will be home and can do "stuff" with them in the afternoon/evening. There are no issues with DH working at home as all of his colleagues work remotely from him and don't care whether he is in the office or anywhere else. However I'm still wondering if this arrangement is really fair to everyone. Would we be unreasonable to adopt this childcare solution?

sounds perfect to me

Well only you will know if that can work or not.

Although I don' understand how this could be unreasonable!

I'd say its great. No expensive childcare costs. Problem solved.

If only it was this easy for most parents

Sounds good in theory, but I'd break it up a bit. Can you find local activity clubs for the odd morning, the sort where you drop them off for a couple of hours of multisports/painting/make a movie, just so they're out of the house occasionally and not too bored?

(I work from home through the summer holidays, and some days you need something organised.)

I work from home and do this. If you're home by 1.30 then it's perfect - fun stuff can happen in the afternoon.

If the children are safe (which they obviously will be), and you and your DH can do your work without getting into trouble with your employers, it sounds a sensible solution. And the money saved can go towards a nice outing during the holidays.

unreasonable for who ?? sounds perfect a win win situation !!

Sounds brilliant - go wi it. Why are you worried, OP?

Sounds GREAT!! I am struggling trying to schedule summer here too - DD hates creche (which takes to age 10 for afterschool - but she really doesn't want to be there at all let alone most of the summer) and most of the other "camps" finish in the middle of the day. Current au pair will be gone. I'd prefer to have a new AP start for Sept, if at all possible, rather than summer. DH will be travelling a good deal. I ahve asked work to give me 2 days/week parental leave and 3 days/week annual leave for 6 weeks, to cover most (DH will take 2 weeks crossing over for family holiday, and a further week with DD while I go back to work) - MIL will have DD for 1st week of hols, and she will do camp in creche last week (to get used to it again for aftercchool club). But I am having problems persuading my boss that I can take 6 weeks (he understands, but is freaking at the thoughts of my absense that long - there are plenty of others still in and I will be here for the busy periods!!).

I guess I'm worried because worrying is my natural state :)

Mainly concerned because it is a 3 week period and if it all goes pear shaped we have no fallback plan (as holiday clubs will likely be booked by then). I'm thinking that the DC may get bored and/or trash the house or DH will go bonkers having to sort out trivial arguments (although in theory the children understand that if Daddy is working he is only to be disturbed in case of emergency). A case of the unknown I suppose. We did do this on an inset day once and IIRC DH ended up not doing too much working and then had to catch up in the evening. So he would need to be much more discplined.

The idea of sorting out some occasional activities to break it up a bit is a good one though - thank you.

It sounds great, i cant see the problem

Just a thought though, the local leisure centres round here do holiday clubs, lots of team games, sports, swimming etc, they take on at my local one from 5 i think but its aimed at older really, could be an option, though i think they have to be over 8/9 and confident swimmers before being allowed swimming.

I think for three weeks and a 6 year old it isn't practical.

Even in my little town, theres drama, dance, and multiactivity week long things (ok, multiactivity has sports, but its not sporty, just lots of things to try). Slightly further afield theres art, spy courses etc.

I think 15 mornings of expecting an 8 year old and a 6 year old to amuse themselves is quite a feat!

I'm not saying it wouldn't work but I would still try and get them booked in somewhere for the odd morning, or arrange for them to play with friends at their house and you can repay the favour by having the friends at yours for the afternoon.

I work from home 2 days a week and when it's school holidays the kids just watch tv / play outside. THey know not to bother me. Mind you - mine are 9 and 12 so a good bit older.
If you are happy with the idea (my dh would not be!) many Churches run holiday clubs for 1 -2 weeks through the summer. These usually do a mixture of games and craft (as well as the obvious Churchy bit). I love dthem when I was wee! Also some dance / drama clubs also run 1-2 week day camps. None of these are full day things but your dh could may be drop off in the morning and you collect after lunch if dc needed a change from being at home.
I wish there were better holiday clubs for older kids. Mine also refuse to go to the local one now as it is really aimed at younger children. The sports clubs which run - which ds would be interested in - are all part day things so not suitable for working parents.

How much do your DC squabble?

It sounds fine in theory, but from experience, I would ideally "split up" those 3 weeks if it were possible.

My 2 could quite happily spend the morning in their pyjamas amusing themselves if bribed with the promise of parental attention in the afternoon, and I think it is good for them not to have the whole holiday in "structured" childcare if it can be helped.

For mine, the issue is not age - either one of them (they are 9 and 5) could amuse themselves at home whilst DH or I works for a few hours. The issue is that when they are together, they are either best friends or deadly enemies. I therefore try to avoid it for more than a day or so at a time.

How does DC2 feel about holiday club? Might is be possible for DC2 to do holiday club on some days, and maybe you could find some one-off activities for DC1 on others (hard, I agree, if they are not into sports - my 9yos holiday "plan" is almost all sports-based) - if they get to do different things on some days, they will hopefully probably squabble a bit less when they are together.

Do your children not have friends locally who they would go and play out with?

I dont think children need to be "entertained" all the time, and should be capable of finding their own entertainment within reason.

3 consecutive weeks? Or here and there?

I think mine could easily watch telly or play on the Wii. But even they might get bored for 3 weeks in a row.

Having said that, there's bound to be drop outs in holiday club if it all goes wrong

I would say at 6 and 8 it is just do-able.

I have worked from home on a long term basis and it would be impossible with my 4 year old (too needy) but my 6 year old wouldn't be a problem, especially if you have a decent garden they can go out in.

The only thing that would perhaps make working from home difficult for your husband is i fthey fight a lot (mine do!) but if they get on great should be fine.

Might want to organise big bottles of water and easy accessible snacks they can help themselves to so they aren't constantly bugging your husband for stuff.

3 weeks in a row? I think i'd arrange something for the middle week to break it up a bit

We have (IMO) an issue with holiday care round here. Lots of schools have their own holiday clubs so parents with DC at those schools tend to use them, which reduces the overall demand.

Unfortunately my DC go to schools that don't. The holiday club we've previously used "mops up" children going to schools with no provision so there was a mix of children but it was a bit hit and miss whether they found another child to "gel" with (quite often there was a group who knew each other from school who just played with each other) and DD and DS did tend to use each other as fallback playmates. For this reason I'm a bit loathe to send DD (the 6 year old) on her own somewhere.

I was originally thinking 3 weeks in a block, but DH and I do have some leave to take in the summer so we could break if up a bit.

@squeakytoy - although our road is reasonably quiet I wouldn't let a 6 year old and 8 year old play out unaccompanied

The squabbling issue is the thing that does concern me. They do mostly get on, and if they do fight they tend to just both stomp off in huffs and play on their own (which would be ok from the not disturbing DH point of view) but they've never been obliged to spend so much time in each other's unadulterated company before.

Course kids shouldn't be entertained all the time but your dh is kidding himself if he thinks he won't be disturbed every 5 mins.

A close friend of mine used to do all sorts of jiggling and child swapping arrangements rather than 'formal' cover over holidays.

But it often ended up needing a favour here and there - 'just an hour...could you just pick him up' etc and I ended up thinking 'I pay for a childminder, I don't really want to have your ds for an hour here and there, sort it out properly!'
Pissed me off after a while.

So I'd make sure you aren't leaning on others too much for favours and this is really going to work out.

My employer (v family friendly, big) has a home-working policy, which doesn't allow people to work from home while in charge of primary-age children except very occasionally, ie not for three weeks. Is unrealistic to think your DH will get much work done. I wouldn't approve a request for this as a line manager and if I found out that someone had lied and was looking after their DC while working from home regularly then It'd be a disciplinary issue.

The people it's unreasonable for are your DH's work colleagues, IMHO. He's kidding himself if he thinks he's be able to do anything like half a day's work whilst supervising a 6 yr old and an 8 yr old. Maybe for the odd day, where he can catch up in the afternoon/evening, but three weeks? No way.

If you could split it for a couple of days a week over 6 weeks, it might work, but he'd still end up catching up in the evenings.

It's no wonder people laugh when they hear 'so and so is working from home today'.

One or two days like this is fine. If I absolutely have to work on a weekend, I bribe tell the children that we will go out in the afternoon if they leave me to work in the morning. They are 8 and 6 and can play together, barring injury and hunger for about two hours.

However, they can't do this day after day (mine can't play out where they live, so it means being in the house). After a few days, they would get silly and cabin fever. They are just that bit too young to be reading all day in the garden.

I would not plan a three week chunk like this, and mine are well-behaved and co-operative. I would get him to take a week off, split that time up to cover mornings/afternoons for two weeks, and perhaps do this for one week max. He won't get three weeks worth of good work done starting at 1.30-2pm every day (dead-time, and already knackered from trying to work whilst being interrupted in the morning). I predict a very grumpy dad and fed-up children.