to not organise "formal" childcare for summer holidays

[redskyatnight]

We have 2 DC - 8 and 6. DH works f/t. I work p/t for 4.5 hours each weekday (normally within school hours, but my manager is usually receptive to requests to change this).

We have the usual working parent problem of covering school holidays (and have no family help). This year, after juggling and "child swapping" with other parents, we are short of 3 weeks cover for the summer (may be able to child-swap odd extra day). In the past we've covered this by using a local holiday club, however last year DS complained that the club was a bit babyish (although the club takes children up to age 12, in practice they are mainly younger children). Our only other local holiday clubs are all sports based and neither DC is sporty.

DH has suggested for the problem 3 week period, he will work at home, I will go into work early and be home by 1.30 at the latest. The idea would be that the DC can amuse themselves in the morning, then they can have lunch with him, then I will be home and can do "stuff" with them in the afternoon/evening. There are no issues with DH working at home as all of his colleagues work remotely from him and don't care whether he is in the office or anywhere else. However I'm still wondering if this arrangement is really fair to everyone. Would we be unreasonable to adopt this childcare solution?

Yes and what Dozer says. I'm the boss and would not accept this either thinking about it.

Just to add, my husband tried to do this for a week recently as I was away, and he rang me within two days saying 'how do you get anything done?' I actually can work a few hours a day with the children around, but only occasionally, and if they are sick/quarrelsome, forget it.

Well, if he doesn't get much done in the day, he will just have to catch up in the evenings when the kids are in bed.
I often have to do that when i have a freelance job on that I have to do in the holidays. I might get in the odd hour or two when ds is around, but mostly I have to work at night.
Now I am also working part time outside the home, I will have to do all my freelance work at night.
But then we lone parents are made of sterner stuff

have they got friends? The only time i can work with ds around (dd is too young) is when he has a friend over. This has a double dividend because when the date is reciprocated you get an empty house.

If DH's work is flexible like that, then absolutely that will work - but ideally not for 3 weeks in a row!

(sorry that was to NowThenWreck)

I realise it's awkward sorting out childcare over long school holidays, I've had to do it myself at times!

I have to agree with PROUDNSCARY though. Of course it may work fine for you all and I hope it does. The last few summers though, our neighbours have done this who live next door but one, normally for two weeks at a time while my friend is at work and her dh works from home.

They're nice kids and play a lot with our dc's anyway,but as the summer wore on I found the role of "childminder' being foisted on me by default

Their kids would always be in our house or on the patch of grass in our corner of the street. Even on the days I said no to them coming in they were constantly knocking on our door while playing out! One of them would have fallen over and needed a plaster, they'd be hungry/thirsty/need the toilet and tell me their dad was getting annoyed with them going in and out while he was working so it was "easier" to ask me

There were also times when we were going out but their kids wouldn't leave our front garden as it was more "fun" than theirs, so I would have to go over and tell their dad there would be nobody "supervising" at our end of street, so best that he went and got them! He didn't look happy at me interrupting his work but what was I supposed to do?!

There was one day where my friend actually asked me to have them all day as BOTH her and dh were needed at work. Now this was a day we were going to be in anyway and feeling exhausted with all the demands from their kids over the summer, I just didn't want to do it AGAIN! Felt obliged to say yes though, as it would have been too awkward if I'd said No, one of them would have taken the day off only for them to see we were at home, and for their kids to be playing out with ours anyway!

If it works for you as a family then I'd do it, but you'd need to be careful that other parents in the street wouldn't be under pressure because of your circumstances, and try to have firm guidelines for your children when you're not there. I know my friend's dh was working, as yours will be, but I didn't see him out there AT ALL offering any supervision for his kids, even when his youngest was screaming blue murder as a happened frequently, (he's 5, coming up 6). Other neighbours were coming running out so he MUST have heard him!!

@nectar - the children aren't allowed out without us, so we absolutely wouldn't be expecting any other parent to supervise them- they'd be playing in house/garden only. If we got another parent to help out as a one off, it would be strictly on the basis that we had their child back another time. I've been taken advantage of in the way you describe you before, and I'd be very keen not to do it to others.

Interesting opinions - thank you. Think DH and I may need to rethink slightly.

I work from home and let me tell yu it is very hard to do so meaningfully with DC at home.

Could he not plan to work 1.30-7.30 pm, and if he does get anything done in the mornings just consider it a bonus?

When I work from home I'm supposed to have formal childcare in place for my children. I wouldn't want to be in your DH's shoes trying to work with 2 children playing unsupervised. I would put them into holiday club to be honest. Surely they'll have more fun doing an activity than being told not to disturb Dad at home. Also might be fun them to try something sporty - I don't think you can dismiss them as not sporty at 6 and 8 - perhaps they just haven't got into the right sport yet. Having a couple to try sounds like a good idea.

Could they just do the holiday club until 1.30 over that 3 week period then you pick them up and do fun things.

I have a couple of teen babysitters who come and take care of my kids while I sleep. The kids adore them and they adore the kids. Is that an option?

sounds fine

If you have a garden they an play in there (maybe in pool), for a few hours am whilst dh works on patio

Even my 2 year old knows to play quietly to half hour if i need to go on phone etc... its not that hard. as long as they are used to it. get practicing now with them entertaining themselves for an hour and they will be fine.

I often seen adverts on my local nethuns board for sensible teenagers to entertain small children while their parents are busy working elsewhere in the house. Would that work for you?

I wouldn't. Maybe the odd day here and there would be ok though - it does sound like your DH would spend his evenings catching up. Are there any other friends in the same situation who might do three mornings a week for you while you do three afternoons for her? Or alliteratively you could pay some college student to do some things each morning. CRB checked him/her though. Baby sitter each morning.

Sounds good to me. If your DH's boss is fine with him working from home then do it.

Hmm, my two at that age wouldn't have occupied themselves without any problem every morning for 3 consecutive weeks. Probably the occasional day would have been fine, but too long and there would have been squabbles, interruptions etc

I am with many others on here. I would organise something else to break up the 3 weeks.

I would look at it like this:as your normal work pattern is all within school hours, you are in the very lucky position of not having to use before and after school care during term time. Therefore, look on the expense of having to organise some holiday activities as swings and roundabouts: you are saving the rest of the year, so its a good investment to organise some structured activities.

Also, although you say your DH's boss is happy with him working from home, I doubt many bosses would be happy if their employee was simultaneously having to be responsible for young children. It would be a shame if he compromises his good working conditions by maybe not being able to get down to the job properly.

DH and I run a business from home. The DC are now 13, 11 and 8. They just bumble about at home while we work, while they are on holiday.

Of course, we do arrange family days out, holidays, sports courses etc during this time, but if there's nothing on, they just fight amongst entertain themselves.

There's a big difference between your ages and the OP's though HMT.

Mine are OP's ages and I can work from home while one of mine is there, but if I wanted to work with both of them there I'd need to wire them up to a Wii/PS3 each, non-stop, which is fine for a single day in a crisis, but not for weeks at a time.