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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be on the warpath with school

57 replies

misdee · 12/03/2012 10:44

actually, i;ve had ther weekend to calm down a bit, so am not too furious now.

dd1 (12yrs old) was purposely attacked on friday at school with aerosol cans by 14/15yr old boys to try and bring on an asthma attack.

the school havent contacted me about the incident.

I have called them thhis morning to try and get to the bottom of what happened and how they are dealing with the incident.

thankfully dd1 amanaged to control her asthma with extra doses of her inhaler, but she was feeling quite rough friday night due to the extra doses taken.

i am fuming.

OP posts:
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 12/03/2012 11:16

He was lucky mis he had an epipen and had explained to his mates what to do and how it worked, and they, well, waded in, used it, called an ambulance, and then proceeded to kick seven shades of shit out of the ones who did it. The lad in question was "the little one" and pfb and their friends were much bigger, so could "ride to the rescue". They were all goth/emo types and the others, well, weren't shall we say, and I don't think they expected them to fight back. Pfb still has a mug that the lad's mam bought them all to say thanks afterwards. It was horrendous, we still talk about how bloody useless the school were and it was almost ten years ago now.
The thing with aerosols is, they're bloody dangerous in their own right, even if someone doesn't have asthma Confused that's why they're controlled to buy. There is no way anyone should have one at school, let alone be roaming in a pack with the damn things!

Walkinginwonderland · 12/03/2012 11:17

Well done for not going apeshit. Blimey.

Flisspaps · 12/03/2012 11:22

OK - this happened on Friday?

When on Friday? I ask because if it was late on Friday, then it may be that the school haven't had time to investigate properly or deal with the incident yet - it's only Monday morning still so it may be that they want to speak to your DD and the perpetrators this morning, and then contact you.

Yes, it's really shitty that this has happened, and the school should be bloody well dealing with it - of course they should. But if it's happened near the end of the day on Friday then there's nothing that they can do between Friday hometime and Monday morning anyway because the perpetrators could just go home at the end of the school day - the school wouldn't be able to keep them on site past that time to investigate without parental consent or 24 hours prior notice.

If they had phoned you there would be very little they could tell you that your DD couldn't already tell you.

If it was before lunchtime on Friday though, then I'd definitely have expected a call to say what had happened before the end of school on Friday.

blackeyedsusan · 12/03/2012 11:22

I think you should go into see the head teacher.

that was so awful.

Pixieonthemoor · 12/03/2012 11:22

I am full of admiration at how you are controlling yourself! I would be tearing the bloody school apart brick by brick over this! She could have died ffs! And the police need a boot up the backside too. For once, preg hormones (congrats btw) are on your side. Go straight to the head, also to the police station and let them all have it between the eyes. They deserve nothing less! Good luck and I hope your dd is ok now.

Original poster
misdee · 12/03/2012 11:26

friday lunchtime.

i know that between then and now, nothing will have been investigated etc, bt not even a call to let me know of an incident? thats not on. am lucky in that i have a good relationship with dd1 and she does talk to me about school stuff, some children dont/wont and bottle it all in. thank goodness she told me.

OP posts:
Kellywestie · 12/03/2012 11:33

I think you are being very controlled considering how awful the consequences could have been. You could also consider contacting the Chair of Governors and your local education authority to lodge a complaint.

Glad to hear your DD is ok.

ButteryBiscuitBase · 12/03/2012 11:36

That is so terrible, your poor dd, is she ok emotionally and has she gone back to school.

If you don't hear by hometime I'd go in person and demand to see the head. They should be excluded. I fucking hate bullying especially when its to people younger and weaker and I know it might sound sexist but boys should respect girls especially younger ones. The little gobshites should be put on some kind of community service that involves cleaning up dog poo! Ok maybe not but they should definitely be made aware of the serious consequences of their stupid actions.

stealthsquiggle · 12/03/2012 11:48

Couldn't agree more that no communication is unacceptable. The absolute very least school should have done was to call you on Friday to say "this happened. DD1 is OK. We are investigating and will get back to you by [insert deadline]" - what if DD1 had had another attack and hadn't been in a fit state to tell you what doses she had already taken, FGS?

They need to have the living daylights scared out of them. If not by school, then by the police, or probably both.

bobbledunk · 12/03/2012 11:51

Go to the police, they assaulted her. Hope shes okSad

Original poster
misdee · 12/03/2012 11:55

i have gone to the police,. who wont get involved as its a 'school matter' Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
misdee · 12/03/2012 11:56

off to take small child to nursery and get the other smaller child down for a nap. hopefully can do an update later when/if the school bother to call me. if no call by the end of the day, will be taking matters further.

OP posts:
madhairday · 12/03/2012 12:05

How can they say it's just a school matter? It's assault, ffs, they should surely be chasing this up more? As for the school, they definitely should have contacted you as soon as they knew about it. The fact that they haven't yet is worrying, are they not sorting this out? How awful, and your poor DD. Hope she is OK and hope this gets sorted asap. Well done for keeping calm, but yes use all the power of your hormones if you need to go in and put a rocket up their proverbials.

Thinking of you.

CremeEggThief · 12/03/2012 12:12

So sorry to hear about what those louts did to your DD.

If the school hasn't contacted you by the end of the day, go in tomorrow morning. And don't go anywhere until you have some answers from senior staff. This really is unacceptable.

mummytime · 12/03/2012 12:36

Go back to the police and ask to speak to someone more senior, and lodge an official complaint. It may have happened in school, but it is a criminal assault and is a police matter. That is if the school won't deal with it effectively.

FirstLastEverything · 12/03/2012 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockChick1984 · 12/03/2012 12:48

Glad your DD is ok, what a horrendous thing to happen! Agree that it is assault, and police should be taking this more seriously - if your daughter retaliated and stabbed one of the boys I'm sure the police would investigate, why should it be different just because what they used isn't a deadly weapon to all people? It could have been to your DD!

Vicky2011 · 12/03/2012 12:54

I think you are being remarkably restrained. If the incident is as you describe, that is attempted murder. :( :(

Original poster
misdee · 12/03/2012 12:57

vicky, exactly. i am actually furious, and resisting the urge to go down the school right now, but its 45mins walk away, i am 35 weeks pregnant, hormonal, and probably wouldnt be accountable for my actions if i did.

secondry school lunch break started soon, so am hoping for a call within the next hour, if no call, wil lcall back and leave my mobile number as well for them to call me ASAP as soon i have to go out and round up my other children from various schools and nursery.

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 12/03/2012 13:11

If you haven't heard from them by the end of lunch, it's time to become that squeaky wheel.

Original poster
misdee · 12/03/2012 14:12

school have involved the police as well.

the boys are being punished and the incident is being looked into further. i have said i want the boys to made very aware of how serious this was, partically as they targetted dd1 AFTER knowing she was asthmatic.

school are backing us all the way.

its a case of timing, when it happened, the school gathering statements, getting facts etc etc, and why they didnt call.

so now to relax for a few minutes.

will not let this drop tho, i have asked to be kept informed of how things are going, and also to make sure the boys parents are all aware of what happened.

OP posts:
trustissues75 · 12/03/2012 14:21

Excellent news. It would have been beyond dismaying for the school to not get the police involved. 15 year olds are beyond old enough to know better...and they should count themselves lucky (very lucky) that your dd didn't end up in serious medical trouble. I hpe they hang the little shites up by the balls.

trixie123 · 12/03/2012 14:48

Glad to hear its being sorted and my sympathies to your daughter. In regard to the school contacting you however, I would just say that in reality, the HoY may have been teaching all friday afternoon and Mon morning, possibly dealing with on the spot incidents during break / lunch etc and may not have picked up messages yet. Its actually pretty rare for teaching HoY to be sitting at a desk for any length of time.
Whatever they were doing rather than calling you I can assure you that it won't have been out of a lack of concern or not bothering, or even having lunch. HoY of my acquaintance rarely get to eat lunch!

PosiePumblechook · 12/03/2012 14:52

I definitely think I'd call the Police.

stealthsquiggle · 12/03/2012 14:55

Very glad to hear that the school have involved the police - they still need to work on their communication though - a quick message from HoY to office to say "please call Misdee and tell her X" would have sufficed to stop you steaming worrying all weekend. Hopefully school reporting is as well also means that the police should relate their report to yours and act accordingly.