Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at the nursery workers comment re DS still using a buggy?

138 replies

choceyes · 12/03/2012 09:11

My DS is 3.4yrs and this morning when I dropped him and his sister, 18 months off at nursery this morning, nursery worker commented to DS , "ah you are a big boy now DS, you should be walking" .
Argh...I told her that we walk 2.5miles into nursery. It would take me about an hour to walk that with a dwadling DS, it takes me a good 30mins in a brisk walk. And most days I am late for work anyway.
I don't need the stress of making him walk all that way first thing in the morning. I just want to get to work!

Just annoyed me really as, most parents drop their kids off in a car at the nursery entrance and walk in. They never get commented on. I know some drive the same distance that I walk. If i took DS off the buggy just before we get to nursery and let him walk in, I'm sure that would be OK too Hmm
I just hate the assumption that just because DS is in a buggy that he is being lazy
He walks back home some days, when he is not too worn out from nursery.

So AIBU to let DS be in a buggy at his age?

Sorry, this is a monday morning rant above all really!

OP posts:
jollyoldstnickschick · 12/03/2012 09:15

I dont think the nursery worker had thought about the possible reasons for ds to be in a buggy and just commented without thought,if it bothers you then mention it to the manager not as a complaint just as a 'this is what works for me please ask staff to refrain from commenting' way.

As a nursery nurse I may have also said something like that before I became a Mum......now as a Mum I understand lots of the weird ways Grin.

YouOldSlag · 12/03/2012 09:15

YANBU. Nobody comments when parents drive their kids everywhere door to door and if your DS had been delivered by car, they wouldn't have said anything.

He probably gets more exercise than a lot of children who are driven everywhere, especially since you said he sometimes walks all the way home.

SoupDragon · 12/03/2012 09:16

I think you're being over sensitive.

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2012 09:17

It's up to you entirely...not their business at all.

The schools/nurseries around here are always commenting about kids being driven to school though...they even have a 'walk to school' badge scheme.

I always feel guilty when my kids come home with 'I walked to school' badges because we live less than 3 minutes from the gate Grin

Seriously though, just ignore them. I doubt they'd want to walk that distance to work with a 3yr old either.

Mrsjay · 12/03/2012 09:19

YANBU some people just open their mouths without thinking , yes parents drop kids off in cars people dont say oiy arnt you a lazy boy you should walk to nursery , Dont get to worked up about it ,

PooPooInMyToes · 12/03/2012 09:19

That would annoy me to. Well generally people commenting on children being in buggies in general without knowing all the details annoy me.

You're right that no one comments when a child is in a car.

I've had comments about my dc being in her buggy when she was four from a passer by. They didn't know she has a physical difficulty (which is getting better luckily) so they should have kept their mouth shut!

Mrsjay · 12/03/2012 09:20

worra i had to phone the school when mine were in primary and say please dont keep giving them pats on the back for walking to school we live 2 houses away Grin

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2012 09:21

Mrsjay you should have added that you also drive them to school Grin

Original poster
choceyes · 12/03/2012 09:22

Yeah I know I am being oversensitive. I've been having a rough couple of weeks with the DCs, with illnesses, tantrums, bad behaviour etc, so I was on edge and stressed out anyway. And the comment by the nursery worker just piled on more of the mummy guilt and made me feel rubbish. Smile

OP posts:
TinOfTigerFood · 12/03/2012 09:22

It is no concern of hers how your DS comes to nursery she is probably a bit stupid

ramblingmum · 12/03/2012 09:23

yanbu. Some people seem to believe that there is a set age and after that children should walk (or be driven) everywhere. I put dd2 in the buggy this morning for the school run, she is nearly 3 and it is only 1/2 a mile , but she was being stoppy and were running a bit late. A practical solution nothing more.

Mrsjay · 12/03/2012 09:26

ach worra i should have said that Grin It was really embarassing with the certificates and pats on the back every week during the walk to school term school always ran ,

cory · 12/03/2012 09:26

As I once told dd's paed "what is a car if not a wheelchair for fit people?"

You are setting your ds a great example by walking and in a few year's time it will seem natural to him to walk that distance with you- he will be far better off than his friends who always go everywhere by car.

Original poster
choceyes · 12/03/2012 09:28

I had my 18 month old in a sling, so maybe she thought that I was struggling and should have let DS walk and put DD in the buggy. If I lived about a mile away, yes this is what I would have done. We do have a double buggy but I hate it!

OP posts:
Kayano · 12/03/2012 09:29

My mum used to drive me to the bus stop at like 14... It was a 3 minute walk

YouOldSlag · 12/03/2012 09:36

Agree with cory- you are setting a good example. lots of people get in their cars too readily without thinking "actually that's only a ten minute walk". OP's kids will grow up knowing that you don't need a car for every journey.

MockTheGeek · 12/03/2012 09:38

YANBU it is not their business. People would comment when I had my DD in a sling aged 3 or 4. She would often be asleep in it or having a rest after a very long day of running about with a long way still to go to get home, on and off buses and trains and walking ect, no car. Should I really have woken her up or refused to let her sleep or rest, when she needed it, when I was happy to have her in the sling and not dragging her along tired and whining at half our normal speed? Think they would prefer a tired child having a tantrum on the bus? Or maybe I shouldn't have left the house in case she wanted to sleep in the day, which she did till age 4.

It's just nobody elses business.

treadwarily · 12/03/2012 09:39

yanbu - it's not her business or her place to comment. she's there to look after your child, not to police how you look after him. you have my full permission to feel annoyed and, if she makes any more annoying comments, ask the manager to talk to her about manners.

Original poster
choceyes · 12/03/2012 09:46

OP's kids will grow up knowing that you don't need a car for every journey.

We don't use a car for any journey Grin. We live in a city, DH cycles to work, so when we did have a car, it hardly ever got used so we got rid. I could take the bus to work, but it won't save me any time, and it might even take longer when travelling in rush hour traffic. At least when i walk, I know I will be at my destination half an hour later!

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 12/03/2012 09:57

we have a car but i don't drive so we had to walk or get the bus to places dds are used to it and havnt been dropped off all the time sometimes its easier to get about without a car , Id rather jump a bus to town than go in the car driving seems stresful Hmm DD friend went on a bus for the first time on a birthday day out , she was 16 and had never been on public transport ,

Mishy1234 · 12/03/2012 09:59

YANBU to find the comment annoying. All you are trying to do is get everyone where they need to be on a working day!

piratecat · 12/03/2012 10:03

ah the mummy guilt, we all know it well.

she was just pointing out something she 'saw' out that it is really any of her business, and you have your reasons for transporting your kids in a manner that gets you where you need to go!!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 12/03/2012 10:04

Please don't let it get to you.

It's just one of those things people say 'in passing' really isn't it. She probably thought it looked like hard work having DD in a sling & a 3 yo in a buggy... it would not have crossed her mind you walk so far, because the vast majority of people don't!

Pre MN I may have made similar comments - now I just keep my trap shut, she probably hasn't had the benefit of MN Grin

Next time, just say that 2.5 miles is a tad too far for him when you are in a hurry on your way to work, but that he often walks home when you have more time :)

Blu · 12/03/2012 10:09

Ah, Buggy-judging is one of the many irritants that parents seem to have to endure, along with every other damn thing that everyone thinks it's OK to comment on.

Good point about the children who arrive from closer by car.

heliumballoon · 12/03/2012 10:12

Just smile and wave. My 4 yr old goes in the buggy sometimes eg when the day involves several hours of walking. We don't have a car and I don't give two hoots what anyone else thinks. If they want to cope with a miserable tantrumming child at 1700 who sits on the pavement and cries with tiredness and refuses to walk a step more, while the newborn screams in the sling, they are welcome to judge.

Sometimes car owners just don't get it.