to be annoyed at the nursery workers comment re DS still using a buggy?

[choceyes]

My DS is 3.4yrs and this morning when I dropped him and his sister, 18 months off at nursery this morning, nursery worker commented to DS , "ah you are a big boy now DS, you should be walking" .
Argh...I told her that we walk 2.5miles into nursery. It would take me about an hour to walk that with a dwadling DS, it takes me a good 30mins in a brisk walk. And most days I am late for work anyway.
I don't need the stress of making him walk all that way first thing in the morning. I just want to get to work!

Just annoyed me really as, most parents drop their kids off in a car at the nursery entrance and walk in. They never get commented on. I know some drive the same distance that I walk. If i took DS off the buggy just before we get to nursery and let him walk in, I'm sure that would be OK too
I just hate the assumption that just because DS is in a buggy that he is being lazy
He walks back home some days, when he is not too worn out from nursery.

So AIBU to let DS be in a buggy at his age?

Sorry, this is a monday morning rant above all really!

I'm just impressed at you walking 2.5 miles in 30 minutes. And now I realise it's done with 1 DC in sling and another in a buggy I am even more impressed ... I agree nursery worker comment was probably made with an eye to it must be hard for you. Have you thought about cycling (with bike trailer working up to DS cycling the route himself?

YANBU to be annoyed at the comment. I still let DS (4.6) ride in the buggy half of the way on the day when we walk 4 miles. He does a 1mile walk each direction most days, much more than most car-driven kids. Last summer we had a similar comment from a random git on the street - just after I'd argued DS into getting into the buggy against his will as we were running late. Similar incident the previous year, when he'd broken his leg. Grit teeth and ignore!

I always used to say with ds that he was in the buggy for my benefit not his. He would have chosen to walk, however the school run (for his sisters, didn't use it once he was at school) was much easier if he was in the buggy. When you have 2 different pick ups from schools, taking around 1.5 hours round walk (including some hanging around at the second school) and you don't want a risk of being late, then having him strapped in was entirely my convenience.

Do what you want, but don't presume that everyone who thinks it's good for children to be out of a buggy at a young age drives everywhere.

Walking a lot from a young age makes you fit, so it's not necessarily a world of pain making a 3 year old walk 2.5 miles.

If you need to use the buggy for reasons of speed, have at it.

But presumably at some point you will have to let him walk and deal with the slower pace until he gets used to it.

DD2 is just gone 2 and is already protesting about going in the buggy to bring DD1 to nursery. We have a deal where she walks the last bit to the CM. It does slow me down, but I am just late a lot factor it in.

I can't imagine she'll be happy to get in in a year and a half.

Well 'Athing' - it's entirely up to you if you let your DD dictate what happens or not... frankly, I would not be. Working on your theory - why don't you let your DD walk the entire way if that's what she wants? You'll have to at some stage...

My 3yr old twins walk are dragged to school wih big sis in the morning we collect her in the buggy - yes i get a few coments about how they are too old now.... as the perfect mothers balance 1 x 3 yr old on their hip..... 30kg of wriggerling boys does not appeal to me.

I have said in the past that if they are willing to keep an eye on one of the twins while i chase at break neck speed accross the playground the other heading for the gate that would be fantastic but other wise i shove them in the buggy.... usually with fruit biscuit

redskyatnight - maybe it is closer to 2 miles, all I know is that I walk damn fast and it takes me 30mins!!

Athing - If I had more time on my hands, I really would be getting DS to walk. But in the mornnings I just don't have spare time at all. I can't deal with a slower pace, as then I would be very late for work and that would cause issues at work. I can't leave earlier as I struggle as it is to get 2 DCs dressed and ready, myself dressed, to get out of the house on time.

Oh god at the competitive non-buggy users. Seriously get a life

I don't let her walk the whole way because

1 she's only 2 and not quite able for the distance yet

2 there is a busy road to cross and I also have a walking 3 year old to get across it

She will have to walk it eventually, which is why I think it's a good idea to get her used to walking some of it now.

Is child-led walking not an MN obsession yet? :o

YANBU. A thoughtless rather than judgemental comment probably but irritating all the same.

Are there any gentle hills on your journey? If so, this is just the ticket for the downwards bits! I've got one and it rocks! It'll hold me AND ds1 and fits most prams!

strollerqueen.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/dsc062791.jpg

Strangely I was pondering this point this morning (inspired by the thread about the 6 yr old in buggy). DD is 3 and a half and still uses the buggy sometimes if its a long journey or if I need to get somewhere in a hurry (her walking speed is snailspace).

I don't drive and so in many situations in which others would drive I would need to use a buggy and yet would feel more "judged" for it. For example if we had a docs appt I would put her in the buggy as she would be feeling poorly and also we would need to get there at a set time but might get a comment if we go in with her in the buggy. However someone with a car would just pop DC in the car and walk in with their DC and not get a comment.

I hate it when people comment on things you are doing with your children. If she says it again I would make a jokey comment like "have you tried walking 2.5 miles with a toddler recently!?".

"But in the mornnings I just don't have spare time at all."

Tell me about it :)

I live ridiculously close to where I work, which has really made the mornings easier.

3 and a half isn't a toddler though, right?

It's a small child with short legs and a tendency to be a pita, but well past toddling.

I can relate to you OP

This morning on the school run, I have not only had a comment from an old lady about dd being in a push chair (she is 3.1 and we live 2 miles away) a market trader asked her why she wasn't in school today!

She is tall,chatty and 'old looking' but honestly! you would think the fact that she was sucking her orange blanket would be a bit of a clue.

She does walk most of the way home btw

Just ignore it.

DS was in (and out) of a buggy until 4.5. We walk a lot and I don't have time to wait!

The people I know who got rid of their buggies from a much younger age just drove a lot more. Or had more time to dawdle.

I used to get comments from other mums when my YR1 (So age 5-6) ds3 turned up in a pushchair. Like OP I used to walk every day - while my next-door neighbour took the car

The comments were invariably from those who parked as close to the school gates as poss.

The next step for me was to get a scooter for DS, he has a mile to school (so a lot less than you OP) and the scooter worked really well to speed him up.

It's ok to make them walk if you have infinite time, but when you need to be somewhere on time, you have to do what you have to do :)

yanbu, anybody should be able to understand that you don't have hours to spare in the morning and 2.5 miles is quite a distance for tiny toddler legs. The buggy is more environmentally friendly than the car and healthier as he is getting fresh air into his lungs (or at least he would be if it weren't for those pesky cars).

Make your annoyance very clear the next time they say that and if they came to work by car, challenge them on their laziness. Also demand to know if they make snide comments to children who are driven to nursery.

There are far more complete nonwalkers, i.e. door-to-door drivers, out there, than there are people who walk and use buggies and have their child in the buggy an excessive amount (defining 'excessive' as, say, significantly more than the average buggy user would see as necessary). Far more. But they are apparently invisible to judgment. It's infuriating.

I hate the fact that when I used a buggy with my small child I couldn't simply use my own judgment as to how to balance out time walking with time in the buggy based on things like overall distance we had to walk, how far we'd already walked, weather, time of day, mood etc.

No, in deciding whether any particular stretch of the journey should be a walking section or a buggy section, I also had to factor in things like whether I was risking someone make a sneery remark, or the risk of a nursery staff member writing my child off as lazy or spoilt.

Yet if I'd chosen to drive the whole way, I'd have been quite safe from me or my child being judged, even though my child would have walked a lot less. All because people make judgments from a snapshot and automatically err on the side of assuming people are lazy. It's insane.

"I also had to factor in things like whether I was risking someone make a sneery remark, or the risk of a nursery staff member writing my child off as lazy or spoilt."

No, you really didn't.

I sympathise op - dd2 is 3.4 now and she is still in the buggy on occasion as although we live close to the school and pre-school we have to collect her older siblings from after-school clubs (they are 5 and 7) - during the winter months I did not want to try and coax an overtired 3 year old over busy road and through car park without the buggy handy. I also use it as a shopping trolley and general packhorse for the acoutrements of 3 children.

Although I mostly go without it now I really miss it when dd2 is tired and doing a limp noodle impression as I try and get her home and her older siblings are either dragging their feet or arguing or moaning about being 'huuuunngggggrrry'! I do not drive and when I have a trolley to drag behind me and a 3 yo with a death wish (she has charged into the road a couple of times recently!!) - I miss the buggy. But it is also a pain when we have it with us but she does not want or need it and I have to push it along or abandon it on the street.

Dd1 stopped using one at 2.5 and that is only because she was so tall she could place her feet on the ground and tip the thing over and because her sibling was born so I could use a buggy board for dd1.

I agree with all the comments about having to use a buggy due to time/distance etc, but captainmummy did you have an awfully long way to walk? As 5-6 seems quite old, and surely not in need of a buggy unless there are other mobility issues? Apologies if there are.

I used to take the buggy for my dd2 after her pre-school as she was exhausted and often used to sleep on the way home (she was a very sleepy child and had naps until she was at school). We used to walk on the way there, buggy back. At aged 3.5 I thought this was perfectly fine.

I also resurrected the buggy on her first trip to London, having abandoned it a few months previously and I was mighty glad, we walked miles everywhere for hours at a time and doing that without a buggy would have been a nightmare. I didn't care, do what suits you.

I only stopped picking up my 4 year old from school nursery in a pushchair at christmas! He would be walking home (all of 5 minutes) falling asleep, staggering about, etc! I couldnt carry him and push DD at the same time, tried a buggy board and he fell off as was too dopey so back to the double buggy for a bit. Me and another mom often had calls about our DS's falling asleep during story time etc, they dont stop when they are there and flake when they leave. I couldnt give a buggery what anyone else thought though, if they were so bothered they should have offered to carry him home for me!