Time on my own = I don't like you enough to spend time with you? Doesn't it? AIBU?

[newnameme]

General concensus please.

When a guy says he wants an evening to himself despite knowing you're free, would you take it personally that he didn't want your company?

You're being used, I'm afraid - he's got you hanging on there for when he fancies a shag, but he doesn't see you as anything more than that. He doesn't want a relationship or anything remotely taxing with you; I'm sorry. Delete his phone number and move on.

He doesn't sound very nice, and sadly he also doen't sound that into you.
Time to move on I think, you don't sound well suited, and it's not clear from your posts what you see in him as you haven't mentioned any endearing qualities he has.

Sorry if this is a stupid question but would you both say that you are in a relationship, would he introduce you to someone as his girlfriend or is it a more casual arrangement? It sounds like he is behaving more like a (poor) friend with benefits rather than a boyfriend.

It sounds like he is not as enthusiastic about the relationship as you are.

This is not a reflection on you: it probably means that subconsciously he feels a bit obligated by your need to be involved with him,mand is kicking against it. It would be the same if anybody was exerting that subtle pressure on him.

Likewise, I doubt that your desire to see him and be close to him is purely about his superduper personality and solid gold cock- I'm guessing that he is a fairly average bloke. But because you feel insecure generally, you are trying to fix this by 'winning' somebody's love, and he happens to be the creature in your sights.

A bit more time on your own building your self-esteem (maybe some therapy too?) will pay dividends here. Nobody outside of you can fix how you feel: you need to get yourself to a much more relaxed place, and your relationships will run more easily as a consequence.

I'm sorry if i was harsh but he sounds like a total arsehole, he's happy to meet you in hotels but doesn't want texts and questions who else you've invited to places before him. Get rid. Delete his number. You deserve better after what you've gone through.

God I fancy a jellybean!!!! Huh?

A poster was munching them a while ago, with red wine.

All thoughts appreciated & welcome - thankyou. I need to be told how it is for my own sake.

I reckon he's married.

Do you mind if I ask how old you and him are?

He's not married but in a way I wish he was as I would then leave well alone. I've met some of his family.

He is mid 30's & I'm late 20's.

I have sought help & am seeing a GP next week.

Sorry, OP, what a bummer.

You were right with your first assessment, he's just not that into you. However, that is because he probably is in another relationship.

Run for the hills. And good luck; you sound lovely.

Please take some time to work on your self-esteem. You are articulate; witty; honest; bright.

That's good. I'm sure there are some great books to read about overcoming insecurity too- hopefully somebody will be along with some suggestions. You sound like you have a lot to offer, but you need to make friends with yourself first.

He sounds like hard work to me. Good luck at the GP's.

I hardly think you've waded in too quickly, I think if he was happy to be in a hotel it would be an assumption that it's ok to text him (seeing as you'd spent intimate time together).

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, he honestly sounds like he's taken advantage of you and doesn't want the 'hassle' that goes with a relationship.

He should have been upfront with you in the first place about his intentions or future. Hope the GP session goes well. x

Thankyou for your kind words. I wish I could believe the nice stuff...I will work on it.

Update...he has been texting me tonight so I know he has been on his own. I have told him to stop texting, that he wanted space, he's got it & that he shouldn't expect to pick me up next time it suits him.

Got to stick to that now.

stick to it, he's clearly an idiot. Here's assuming that when you stop texting him, he'll start texting you, asking where you've been, what you're up to. Make sure you ignore it, you'll find a nice person who'll respect you and want to spend quality time with you.

He may be like a male acquaintance of mine - in a relationship mostly with himself, but on and off with various women, often at the same time. Apparently it makes him feel better about himself to be 'wanted'. WTF?

You are lovely and better than this. Be strong and don't play games with him - just get out of the game with him, and start to appreciate yourself.

why should a man run just because you find yourself free , I love spending time on my own reading or even control of the remote .
I would hate my husband in my face all the time i would probably stab him [grin

I'd back off and give him time and space, and he'll probably come crawling back, then you can tell him you're busy.

Do you remember the song by The Beautiful South "I Need A Little Time"? I loved that song when men were treating me like crap in my youth!

There's nothing wrong with you at all. You've just picked someone who is "not that into you" I'm afraid. Better luck next time - and there will be a next time :)

That's not quite what's happening.

What isn't?

Sorry not what you said, filter.