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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel slightly gutted that my 4 year old called me Mummy-Fat-Tummy tonight?

48 replies

FaresPlease · 10/03/2012 21:03

There's no denying that I have a fat tummy (which has accommodated 3 children thus far!!), but until now the kids were the only ones who didn't care what I looked like, loved me unconditionally, didn't even know the difference between fat and thin.......or so I thought!! Anyone had a similar experience?!

OP posts:
Kennyp · 10/03/2012 21:08

I get called mama mirabelle. That elephant off cbeebies

Or miss trunchbull. From matilda.

Smetimes i do get the hump largely

Kayano · 10/03/2012 21:10

I had to ask DH to stop calling me ThunderHIppo now we have a child in case they think that is my actual name.

In return I have agreed I stop calling him the Elephant in the room and 'dickhead' lol

mumofjust1 · 10/03/2012 21:11

Lol! My dd wrote a poem about me called "Fat Bum Mum" when she was about 6 Wink

blondiep14 · 10/03/2012 21:14

No, YANBU.
DS1 is 4 and keeps asking for a baby (one is cooking, but he doesn't know yet). He tells me I will be 'even bigger' when I have a baby in my tummy and I shall need to go to fat club again afterwards.

I try not to sob.

NettoSuperstar · 10/03/2012 21:16

He's being literal, kids do that, but he still loves you no matter what and couldn't care less what you look like.

A couple of years back I was in hospital, seriously ill for ten days. I managed to grow myself a lovely moustache, and massive Noel Gallagher eyebrows, which DD found hilarious and asked if I'd grow a beard to go with them.

It pissed me off no end, but she still loved me, and still does. (FWIW, I did look a bit like Mr Twit)

featherbag · 10/03/2012 21:19

This is one of the reasons I've started dragging my fat arse to WW while DS is still too little to comment...

lostmywellies · 10/03/2012 21:20

YAB a teensy bit U, but we all respond the same way, I'm sure! You have to teach them the way you'd like them to talk to you: my dcs have a magic phrase if they want me to stop tickling them - it used to be "stop" but now it's "please stop, darling mummy!" (Can usually get a few extra tickles in there while they're saying it, if they're in the right mood!) And if I'm reminding them to say thank you for something, they often have to say, "Thank you Mummy, you're the greatest," before I'll let go of it. It makes them smile and makes me feel good despite the fact that they've been told to say it! :o

Calamityboo · 10/03/2012 21:21

We were on holiday in Cornwall, strollling down an isle in Tesco ds1 was at one end and shouted to me at the other end 'mum are you bloody pregnant again' he was 13 at the time. Ooh, that comment very nearly put me off my coconut macaroons!

nobutyeahbut · 10/03/2012 21:25

When i was pregnant with dd2, dd1 who was 3 at the time saw me getting out of the bath..it was not a pretty sight, she shook her head, pointed at me standing there starkers and said "mummy you look very messy!"

Goawaybob · 10/03/2012 21:27

My DD said to me the other day - Mummy, if you lost some weight, you'd be really beautiful, like me mummy. There is no denying that my DD is beautiful and i am fat Grin

My DD actually took part in a psych study on body size prejudice in children. Now Im a big girl, very careful to not instil prejudice of any kind in my DD who is six, so i was confident she woudlnt show a preference to slimmer children. Basically, she was shown pictures of different children, one of them a larger child and asked to choose who she wanted to be friends with - she absolutely did not want to be friends with the big girl Sad i was mortified and the researcher told me that the majority of children DD's age made exactly the same choices.

I am pretty comfortable with my size but my DP and i do talk about us both losing weight and exercise to try and achieve this (i dont believe in diets) so this must rub off on DD. Then there is the TV and other children at school. But i was honestly convinced my DD would not be prejudice, but she was.

lesley33 · 10/03/2012 21:30

Are you sure your 4 year old hasn't just overheard you say you have a fat tummy and is repeating your comment?

NoVeggiesBeforeSkeggies · 10/03/2012 21:34

DS (5) 'helped' me do my belt up the other morning, and using a sing song voice said
" lets just lift this big fat tummy out the way then"

Liz79 · 10/03/2012 21:40

Mummy pig is my nick name :(

Dustinthewind · 10/03/2012 21:47

It was a comment by a 4 year old, so she can say you have a fat tummy mummy and enjoy the rhyme and still love you unconditionally. For her it was probably just an observation, not a criticism.

Boysrstupid · 10/03/2012 21:48

The first letter I ever rcvd from DS1 read:

To Mum. You are fat. Love from XXX.

He was about 5 I think. We were at my friends and she and I both cried laughing. He's right - I am, but he was just being cute writing me a note. They dont understand the power of the word at that age.

Dustinthewind · 10/03/2012 21:51

Well, if I was your DS, I'd be pissed off at your name, Boysrstupid. Grin
What goes around comes around I guess.

fatlazymummy · 10/03/2012 22:56

liz79 snap! Mummypig is my nickname too. Also my son used to call me 'mummy 2 tummies'.

AwkwardMary · 10/03/2012 23:02

yabu....and YABU if you let your DD see that you were hurt about it....mine say things sometimes but they actually like my stomach as they know it's the way it is as Ive had two c sections....to have them!

I would never allow them to see me being insecure about my body...we are their first brush with how they need to see themselves. And I want them to be confident in their bodies.

NowThenWreck · 10/03/2012 23:35

My son said to me the other day "Mummy? Do you know that you have a big fat bottom?"
To which I replied sweetly.
"Yes darling. I do"
Because I don't care.
If you are sad about having a fat tum, you know what to do! (Eat fewer biccies!")

MissVerinder · 10/03/2012 23:37

I got Mrs Wobbly-bottom tonight from 3yo DD.

And I've lost a load of weight as well! You just can't win!

effingwotsits · 10/03/2012 23:39

Dd aged 5 often tells me I look as if I have a baby in my tummy. I don't.

Also, when I was pg with ds she asked "mummy, do you have a baby on your bottom too?" Blush

MyHeartBelongsToKermit · 10/03/2012 23:43

My dd put a pen under my boob the other day and I DIDN'T NOTICE !!

Blush Sad
iceandsliceplease · 10/03/2012 23:46

I think lots of us are called Mummy Pig, aren't we?

DS is lovely with the compliments. 'Nice bottom Mummy! It's all round and purple.' He was utterly sincere, and meant it as A Nice Thing. He also told me 'Mummy, you've got a lip beard!' loudly, in a quiet restaurant.

CaoNiMa · 11/03/2012 04:24

You do realise that you can tell them off and instruct them not to be so rude? If an adult told you that you were fat, you wouldn't stand for it, so why take it from your kids?

At the merest hint of rudeness like this, I rake my DC over the coals. I don't want them to grow up thinking that insulting people is correct behaviour.

PeppermintCreams · 11/03/2012 07:02

Goawaybob - I think my 3 year old son took part in the same study at the University of Kent? He picked all the girls with green dresses because green is his favourite colour... He was in the younger age range though.