To grass my neighbour up to my husband ??!!

[Alargeglassofred]

My DH is ultimately my neighbours boss. She has a second job and has called in sick to my DH dept, leaving them short of staff . Should I tell him or her that I know??

how do you know? Are you absolutely sure..?

How do you know she has not called in sick to the second job too?

How do you know she has a second job?

I assume you've seen her leave the house? But how would you know where she's gone?

"Grass her up" for what? How on earth do you know that she hasn't called in sick to her 2nd job too?

I know she has got 'another job' , she told me. Thought was instead of her permanent job..... She hasn't handed her notice in. Has called in sick this week to her perm ( nhs ) job .

To quote Kim from the marvelous Kath & Kim: "you know your beeswax...why don't you bloody mind it?"

Do you mean she's called in sick to her NHS job to go to her other job?

You are making no sense OP.

Do you mean you think she has left the NHS job?

Because ComposHat she's taking the piss and I don't bloody well like it

She hasn't left the NHS job. Calling in sick to attend the new one. And get both the incomes

A friend of mine did something similar lately (also NHS). She was sacked for gross misconduct and fraud, and is being reported to the regulatory body for the to being suspended or struck off. I'm not saying whether you should or shouldn't 'grass', just wanted to make sure you knew the likely outcome for your neighbour if you do.

So, she told you she has a new job...has called in sick to Job 1, where she works with your husband...and has been going to the new job, Job 2 but isn't actually sick?

She may work below your husband, its still none of your business.

Hm not sure about this. Your loyalty is to your DH not your neighbour. That said, if you have got the wrong end of the stick you would be putting him in a difficult position. Presumably if she does have a second job then she will call in sick again on a more regular basis and disciplinary process will kick in? I would probably wait and find out the full story and only tell my DH once I was absolutely sure.

Thanks featherbag. Don't know what to do. It affects my DH department

I think it would be far better for you to say to her "please don't tell me things like that, you know X is your boss. You are putting me in a difficult position when you tell me that you are doing this and expect me to keep it a secret from my husband in order to protect your job."

You say your DH is ultimately her boss, so not her immediate boss then. Does your neighbour not know where your husband works/that he is part of her hierarchy?

Ultimately her boss?

Interesting FeedZombie etc, it is my business , I pay taxes

She sounds very dim, tbh, telling you something and expecting you not to tell your husband, her boss. How the hell did she get two jobs when so many can't get one?

Actually I like JustHecate's approach. Very wise...

well surely you'll talk to DH anyway, you don't need proof, it's your DH. just along the lines of, this is a bit suspect, watch out? i would've thought everyone talked to their DH like this?

I have to say I think my friend was in the wrong (she doesn't!), and in principle think an NHS employee who does this deserves the consequences, but in practice not sure I could be the one to do it!

while i sort of agree with JustHecate, it ISN'T a difficult position. the OP and neighbour both know she doesn't keep secrets from her DH. so neighbour may as well have just told her boss by telling his wife.

If you are on good speaking terms with her, i would speak to her and explain that she is putting you in a difficult postion.

If she is in dire need of money, i would over look it for a while.