To tell DP that actually, NO I don't want to see him at all tonight??

[creppy]

DP has a history of smothering me. Seems to think it's my responsibilty to provide him with entertainment and things to do etc as he has few friends of his own and no hobbies. Up until very recently he relied on me for his social life and evrytime I went out without him he'd text all night, insist on picking me up, insist on coming along etc. I gave him an ultimatum that either he develops a life of his own and allows me to live mine without being smothered or we're over. He agreed but anyway I said I wanted some space - my children are at their dad's once a fortnight and up until now I've had to spend every one of these nights with DP. I said enough is enough, I can see him anytime - wednesday nights for cinema, friday nights he can come down or whatever but I don't want him dictating EVERY saturday night that I'm childless. He reluctantly agreed. So tonight my kids are going to their dad's house and I'm going out on a girls night out. Funnily enough, he's managed to arrange a night out on the same day going to the same area of town as I am I didn't show that I was annoyed about this as he'd just say "well you told me to go out with my mates more blah blah" so I just left it. Anywa he's been hinting ever since this got arranged that we should meet up sometime during the night. I've said no as it's a girls night, not a couply night and I want a night to myself. He's carried on hinting and has just sent me a text saying "I'm sure I'll bump into at some point tonight, I'm going to drag you onto the dancefloor hehe xx". I just feel like texting back saying "fuck off and leave me alone!! please!!" but I won't. Part of me is saying he's supposed to be my partner - I should want to "bump into him" but I just want a night out where I don't have to think about all that shit!
Am I being unreasonable to text back something like "well I hope we don't bump each other really as I'm on a girl's night and so will feel a bit ignorent when I can't stop and chat!".

How would you deal with this?

You'd be right to feel rejected. Because if you behaved as this chap is reported to carry on, you would be an utter buffoon. Who wants to be "one half of a whole" anyway when you can have a perfectly healthy relationship without subsuming yourself into someone else?

Tinof. He texts her all night when she's out ruining her evening, insists on coming on all the nights out or on picking her up afterwards. Even when she made it very clear that she wanted a girls night he is just going to turn up anyway disrespecting her wishes. That's not wanting to be with someone, that's smothering them and not trusting them. He wants to pick her up so he can make sure she isn't going home with someone else.

Not everyone is the same, some would be perfectly happy to spend every moment with their boyfriend. Others would like the odd bit of time to themselves which i actually think is wise. Giving up all your friends when you start dating is a silly idea. Just look at the thread in relationship where the woman's partner of 15 years has just left and she doesn't have a single friend.

It isolates you and in my opinion makes you less likely to leave a bad relationship because they are your whole life. I've been there!

I don't think there is enough evidence here for being controlling etc, though i agree there are red flags.

Right now sounds more to me like 2 people with different styles, I'm sure some women would love to have a man who was attentive 24x7, some would hate it.

But whatever the reason, OP hates it now and it ain't going to get better, so dump.

For me it has masses of red flags!

You've already made it perfectly clear that you feel smothered by him, that it's threatening your relationship and that you want a night to yourself. He isn't getting this at all. He is very unlikely to change and will probably NEVER get the point - he doesn't want to.

Leave now, before he moves in and takes over your entire life like a controlling creepy stalker that lives in your house.

Isn't this the op that posts about this regularly? Pretty much the same scenario every time,she feels suffocated,he doesn't respect her boundaries etc etc etc.
Everyone says,yanbu,finish with him. Clearly she doesn't & comes back to complain again.
Seriously,just bloody finish with him!

Yes, OP he really does need to be sent to Room 101. I'm not trying to be rude here but why on earth are you with him. This situation would give me the creeps.

Icelolly yes i think it must be the same one. Sounds like it anyway. I think someone did ask but she didn't answer. Probably didn't want to be got at for having not done what advised previously, which is of course her right. Wish she'd just dump him though. Have experience of people like this and it just gets worse!

See I am worried here, this behaviour is so needy and controlling can become nasty stalking when u dump him, how well do u no him and his past.

Be careful, my instincts are u need to finish with him
But you need to be careful.

Definitely dump and run. ASAP. My ex was like this - I lost every friend I had and almost wrecked my relationship with my mum cos I literally couldn't see anyone but him. It will only get worse and worse. From previous experience, change all contact numbers and block. Brief friends too - they often try to get to you afterwards through your friends (that you've got left)