To not be sure about leaving my new baby next Friday to go on anight out?

[Babycameearly]

Genuine dilema - my baby is 5 and a half weeks, was born 5 weeks premature and has spent nearly 4 weeks in hospital (2 in scbu, then came home, then in childrens ward - we will hopefully be going home tomorrow).

My lovely, well meaning (childless if that matters?) friend has arranged a night out for my birthday next weekend but I'm not sure if I'll be ready to go out and leave my babay (with his daddy). She thinks I'm being a tad precious (and I'm willing to admit that I probably am).

What do you think - am I being precious? friend thinks I should make time for myself but I'm not sure if it's just too early for me? I also still feel a bit naff about my post C section body!

If you're not ready, you're not ready, you've already been through so much, nobody could blame you for staying in with your precious baby. You can't be too precious when they're that tiny and new, enjoy every moment.

Why not meet her for a baby free lunch instead? It would be nice for a little break and catch up but not too long away from your baby.

How ridiculous! You are putting yourself first, by not going on a night out that you would prefer not to be on. Tell her that.

TBH it sounds like she's wanting you to put her first and trying to guilt trip you into it.

Who on earth would be expecting a mother of a premature baby just out of hospital to be out on the town?

Not precious at all, I think that's very young to leave a baby and I woudn't have done it. Quite apart from the fact that I was so sleep deprived when dd was that age I wouldn't have enjoyed a night out at all.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it if you want to go, but don't be pressurised! A proper friend will understand.

What is it with nights out, like they're almost the be all and end all and you have to have a superb excuse not to go. They aren't that special or important. A baby is on the other hand.

Some people like nights out. It's not a crime. It's not wrong to leave a baby with it's other loving parent and have some time off, any more than it's wrong to prefer to stay at home with your newborn.

I think your friend is probably feeling a bit pushed out TBH. It can be difficult for close friends to accept that things change when a baby arrives. That doesn;t mean she's in the right or you have to placate her, but try not to be angry with her. If she is having a hard time, she is going to be considering her own needs ahead of someone else's baby: just stand your ground politely but firmly and let other childfree friends take up the slack here.

I'm not saying it's a crime, the point I'm making is that the night out appears to need an excuse not to go to it, whereas leaving a very small newborn baby doesn't.

I think you're right 'solidgoldbrass' - I know that just because my baby is the centre of my world he isn't that important to others. She has had a rough few weeks and just wants to let off steam I think. Not had chance to speak to her today but hopefully she'll understand :)

god no, you are not being precious. there is no way i'd have gone out when any of mine were that age unless i'd had them with me.
your friend maybe doesn't realise that actually you WANT to be with your baby?

maybe you could suggest she comes over for coffee one morning? or that you meet for lunch WITH baby?