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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking my MIL is being a bit bloody cheeky?

76 replies

MarkStretch · 09/03/2012 13:34

DH and I have just had our 3rd DC and DH has a DD from a previous relationship. We are trying really hard to save at the moment and pay as much off our mortgage as possible in order to hopefully be able to move to a bigger house in 2 or 3 years. Consequently we have been seriously 'cutting our cloth' accordingly.

MIL asked for a £30 pot of face cream for Mother's Day. DH explained that we wouldn't be able to afford to spend that much. I saw her today and she gave me a list of three kinds of bathroom scales (with the Argos catalogue numbers written next to them) she would like instead for Mother's Day, all of which cost £25.

God I'm fucked off.

OP posts:
Ample · 09/03/2012 18:08
Shock If she wants the face cream or bathroom scales she can buy them herself!

Love the idea of the WeightWatchers mag. I would go with that and flowers. Or you could be completely forgetful that she asked for scales in the first place and buy her a humongous box of chocolates.

Make it a learning experience for her, in the nicest possible way of course Wink

cocolepew · 09/03/2012 18:12

Cheeky mare! I wouldn't get her anything, DH can get her a card and a token.

Proudnscary · 09/03/2012 18:15

My mum once went proper mental on me when I bought her chocolates for Mother's Day.

Seriously. Mad. Gave them back to me and told me to take them home. Then emailed me about it. Then texted me. Saying 'Please don't buy me chocolates again, just flowers from now on - I love freesias and lillies'.

She is always watching her weight but not obsessively and it was not meant in a snidey way.

Since then she has got a card. And that is all.

Ample · 09/03/2012 18:15

Perhaps that's a lie? Perhaps her bathroom scales work just fine.
Are you sure she doesn't like her current ones just because of what she sees when she looks down?

She is aware that a 'new' pair of scales won't change that, right? Grin

Bobyan · 09/03/2012 18:24

Buy her some shit second hand ones from eBay and make sure they are less than £10...

wildstrawberryplace · 09/03/2012 18:27

Give her a pot of Aldi 1.89 face cream which is probably just as good as the one she wanted

ByTheWay1 · 09/03/2012 18:28

She's not YOUR mother - leave it all up to hubby.... and if he forgets, tough!

upahill · 09/03/2012 19:05

To be honest I would rather someone was upfront about what gift they would like rather than rattling my head trying to think of something that they would like and failing. Therefore I have no problem with this scenario and wish my mother would do something like this.

I think it is a bloody marvellous idea. I know you are saving but it isn't a serious amount of money to spend on your mother/MIL in my opinion.
Most of my friends would spend that without realising it by the time they have bought a bunch of flowers, a card and took them out for lunch.
Much better to have something you really need or want.

dinkystinkyandveryverybored · 09/03/2012 19:08

True Upahill - but if they told MIL that £30 on facecream was too much, its a bit grabby of her to then say to get £25 scales for her instead.

MissingMySleep · 09/03/2012 19:14

let DH deal with it, after you have told him what the budget is

love the idea of getting the scales off ebay

KLou111 · 09/03/2012 19:28

Ooooo that is very cheeky! It's mothers day ffs, not a birthday, you don't ask for a certain something!! You get a card and a box of chocs or flowers surely. I'd perhaps give her a £10 voucher for argos, she can put it towards the scales!

BuriedUnderChocolates · 09/03/2012 19:32

Did your DH ask what she wanted for mothers day and that was her response? Is £30 the usual amount so she has assumed this year is the same.

Why did DH not suggest a budget when he was telling her that £30 was too much.

To be honest if you find it that much of a hassle her having DS each week than why not stop that and visit her as a family at the weekends.

She's probably thinking hmm bloody cheeky DS and DIL, I have their DS every Friday for them, I feed him as well and they can't even buy me a half decent mothers day present to say thank you.

Spuddybean · 09/03/2012 19:33

My parents are exactly like this. They tell me precisely what they want and they make a massive deal out of mothers/fathers day and see it as equal to birthday and xmas in gift value.

Some of you may remember my thread last year when i offered m&d, for fathers day, that i pay for all 4 of us (DP too) to go to a country hotel for a weekend (somewhere between where we live, as we live 2 hours apart, see each other infrequently, they don't come to us because they have dogs and we can't go to them because DP is allergic to dogs). Dad said to me that he didn't fancy the place i had chosen (4* groupon deal, all meals included & spa) but would rather go somewhere on his own so could he just have the money and him and mum would go where they wanted to go!

My mum said to me that she didn't want much this year 'just some lancome cream' (for £30).

One year dad stropped big time because he had asked for a designer chair which was £300 and said it could be for xmas, birthday and Fathers day. I said okay and bought it but come Fathers day he was really angry i hadn't bought him something else as although he said it, he hadn't thought i would 'go through with it' and called me a nasty cow. (Mum bought something on my behalf to calm him down).

Sorry to hi-jack OP, oooh it feels good to vent!

wildstrawberryplace · 09/03/2012 19:42

Shock spuddy, that's unbelievable!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 09/03/2012 19:42

She's not cheeky.

She's RUDE!!

Go with the Aldi face cream & an appropriate card

piratecat · 09/03/2012 19:43

spuddy i think i remember your posting about your parents.

crazy.

i think the drip feed of the fact op's mil already HAS scales which piss her off because she has to 'tap' them to come on was fantastic, and is an 'allowed' drip feed for extra oomph to the thread.!!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 09/03/2012 19:43

Spuddy - do you still see them? I don't know why, after so many years, but it still amazes me how awful some parents are :(

sue52 · 09/03/2012 19:43

A card with some flowers or chocolates is fine. A list from Argos is damn rude. She sounds a prime candidate for an Oxfam goat (or whatever they've got that costs a fiver).

Anonymumous · 09/03/2012 19:49

It's simple - find something in the Argos catalogue that you need that costs about the same (or preferably slightly more) and give her the page with a straight face and tell her you'd like her to buy you that for Mother's Day. You're a mother to her grandchildren, after all! Then, before she has a chance to quibble, announce that actually it's easier if you just buy what you want for yourself, and she buys her scales herself - and it will save on buying wrapping paper too. Then wander off, leaving her aghast at your cheek and quite unable to argue with you anyway.

Woo-hoo!

Spuddybean · 09/03/2012 20:34

it wasn't till i came on MN i realised how odd they are! yes i still see them - they behave slightly better now as i don't put up with any shit anymore.

I do love them - i just accept their limitations. But DP's parents are another story....

Apologies OP. I would just buy what you want flowers/chocs and if she says anything like where's my scales, say 'we couldn't afford it' and smile. Or give the voucher towards idea.

i have scales you tap - i love them

COCKadoodledooo · 09/03/2012 21:02

Jeez she sounds like a nightmare! I love mine, she'd never do anything like that. She'll be getting a card from us and that's it. It simply never would occur to her to actually ask for stuff, not even for Christmas and birthdays. Mind you, she's still incredibly grateful she's even remembered on Mothering Sunday - until I met dh she hadn't had a card since he left primary school!

COCKadoodledooo · 09/03/2012 21:03

Meant to say - that's it because we're skint currently, not because we don't think anything of her. We'd love to send her something and/or visit, same with my mum, but we simply don't have the funds.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 09/03/2012 23:07

I certainly wouldn't be giving my kids a list and I would be happy with a bar of Galaxy

I'm actually hoping for a bar of galaxy. Smile

YuleingFanjo · 09/03/2012 23:22

just give her a card. Do people really give lists out for mother's day Shock

fiftyval · 10/03/2012 13:56

YANBU - as evreyone else has said she is the rude one and out of order.
The worst thing of al IMO is that she gave her 'list' to you . She is not your mother so there is no way you should be doing anything about Mothers Day for her at all. Your Dp's mother therefore his problem.

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