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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to absolutely loathe the school run?

75 replies

lottielou39 · 08/03/2012 20:14

I know it's been done to death, but I'm really hating it right now. I've done it for 7 years so far and would rather do anything else in the world.
There are Mums not talking to each other, Mums gossiping about each others kids, a Mum I try hard to avoid because she gets involved in every tiny spat her angelic cherub gets involved in (and they are always best mates the next day after this woman has made a hugh drama over it), Mums who wave and smile one day, then walk past you to someone more interesting the next day. I've tried getting there early to chat to people, getting there at the very last second so I can just collect and run... and it never gets better. I fucking hate it.

OP posts:

Original poster

lottielou39 · 09/03/2012 09:54

I want to live in America, school buses are a fantastic idea!

OP posts:

LittleJennyRobyn · 09/03/2012 10:46

Am in my 19th year of doing the school run and another 2 years and 4 months to go not that im counting down or anything...luckily now though i can stop the car briefly chuck DD out and drive off,

Pick up..she meets me at the gate so i dont even have to get out of the car!!

But will be glad when i dont have to do it anymore

IslaValargeone · 09/03/2012 10:53

I have between a 50-60 minute round trip twice a day for my dc's primary and it feels like such a waste of time. I try and arrive just on time so that I don't suffer the discomfort of being largely ignored in the playground.

NowThenWreck · 09/03/2012 11:00

I dont get the stress about the school run, I really don't.
I smile and chat to people I have got to know a little bit either because they are ds's friends parents, or because they are quite friendly and chatty, but if people don't speak to me I don't care.
Water off a ducks back!
They are not my friends,they are just neighbours. I have too much going on to spend any time worrying about the impression I make.

TheCinnamonGiraffe · 09/03/2012 11:43

I don't get the stress either tbh, I'm quite happy to chat or not, or to stand on my own in the afternoon I really don't care. I do have skin the thickness of a rhino though so I wouldn't notice if there were politics or whatever or not.

If someone wants to say hello one day but not the next then fine, I don't care, perhaps they are having a bad day or have a thumping head and can just about make it out the door to collect and have no energy for anything else (this was me this week...).

I've had someone 'ignore' me for a week or so (shock horror) I doubt it had much to do with me tbh, she looked tired out stressed, she probably had something going on and was not feeling very sociable.

CremeEggThief · 09/03/2012 11:48

:0 at BrownBoobBear.
We will probably move away over the summer, as DH has started a new job in a different part of the country, so I shall be looking out for a good school that allows Year 5 children to walk to and from school on their own and a house that is a safe, 10 minute journey from that school. Well I can dream for now, can't I?

MrsBeakman · 09/03/2012 11:54

I hate it too.

wickedestsminthewest · 29/04/2012 19:57

I only do it once or twice a week but I find it really hard to know how to behave... I now most of the Mums by sight and have spoken to most of them (the ones in DD's year and the year below) at least once. In any other social situation I would say hello to these people. But there are so many parents there that once youre in conversation with one Mum, you cant possibly acknowledge all the others as you wouldn't be able to finish a conversation.

I always feel really rude but I just don't know how to behave. i go with just talking to the first person I see then acknowledging anyone else who walks past my eye on the actual way in to the school... it is a very weird situation.

Im often ignired but I think it is because people are just busy.

googleberry · 29/04/2012 20:19

I like the school run ((hides))

ll31 · 29/04/2012 20:23

never go to school anymore - ds is 12 and goes there and back - and tbh I miss it!

mumzy · 29/04/2012 21:28

I think it's the twice a day seeing the same old faces the monotony of it all. I marvel at what some of the mums have to talk about. Then when I listen in its a mixture of gossip, the trivial and the banal. God only another 3 years to go!

wherearemysocks · 29/04/2012 21:38

I think many people are just too over sensitive about it. Surely it shouldn't be that stressful? Just turn up drop off/collect child, perhaps pass a few pleasantries with another parent, or maybe not. If you want social interaction plan a coffee/lunch/night out with a friend or group of friends.

There are a few parents who I am on friendly terms with but there are probably times that I just walk past them, either because I haven't noticed them, or I have something specific that I need to say/ask someone else, or maybe I'm just having a shit day myself and am not really in the mood to talk to anyone.

MerylStrop · 29/04/2012 21:44

i like the other parents. all vv nice.

i hate the deadline

Maro11 · 29/04/2012 22:08

I hate it too, I hate the way that some people blow hot and cold, I feel I am always on the edge of the group, I hate the politics and endless discussions about parties and who has been invited etc. I feel awkward and self conscious and like I am the one back at school. My DD is in YR so years to go

scottishmummy · 29/04/2012 22:28

fortunately I don't do school run
on mn sounds horrific
so glad I'm nor part of that mileu

Morloth · 30/04/2012 06:55

I didn't mind it, but I enjoy not needing to worry about it now.

DS1 walks by himself and by the time his brother starts kindy he will be plenty old enough to have him walk with him.

I may never have to do the school run again.

talkingnonsense · 30/04/2012 07:26

Afternoons are definitely worse because you have to talk to someone while you wait- and they are never all out together, and you have to find someone you know or stand alone and look sulky, I hate it.

Mopswerver · 30/04/2012 07:41

I have enjoyed it at our little village school but at a neighbouring school they have 'circles of status' i.e. at the top (self imposed!) are the 'Doctors Wives', then the 'Doctors Wives Wannabees' etc. my daughter used to go to nursery there and they all used to hang around outside...it was like running the gauntlet of withering looks at my shabby appearance! They all blew hot & cold depending on who else was around. One called across the street to me once at a 'Brownie' Remembrance Day march to see if we could "go into church together" -she was my best friend!!....until she spotted someone 'higher status' over my shoulder. By the time we reached the entrance she had disappeared! (later spotted welded to the side of the local councillor's wife ) . It shouldn't get to us you know....and yet.....

buggyRunner · 30/04/2012 08:21

Am I missing something? Why does it matter so much- isn't it just 30 mins every day?
Why do you let it affect you- the other parents reactions are no reflection on you as a parent. Surely you have other friends so don't need to be liked by everyone?

The ppl who ignore you may have loads going on/ struggling to keep all dc's safe/ under control so may not see you. (I know I can miss people when trying to look after my toddler/ baby combo)

If you refuse to get involved in the bitching/ politics it can't affect you?

I have always loved baby groups etc but if there was any politics I just step away from it. And you know what, I think I have more friends because of it

Mishy1234 · 30/04/2012 08:26

YANBU, it sounds awful!

DS1 is starting in the school nursery after the summer and I'm absolutely dreading it. I wonder if it's always been like this? I must ask my Mum what it was like for her when I was in school.

marriedinwhite · 30/04/2012 08:38

I did 10 years at our dc's primary school and I miss the school run. I miss seeing the other mums every morning, I miss some of the school events, I miss the lovely community it was by and large. If we walk past now it feels warm and safe and last year when something scary happened to dd on the way to high school she went straight to her primary school because she knew it was a safe place and they would help her.

Pipsqueak99 · 30/04/2012 08:59

I also don't get the stress about the school run. I take DS, speak briefly to his teacher, smile and say hi to any mums that I see and then go again. Am I doing something wrong .

Maybe because I work full time and need to get off to work after dropping DS off that I have other things to think about rather than whether the school mums like me, or are in a clique or whatever.

Mind you, DS has only just started at nursery, so I am a complete novice at all of this!

MatureUniStudent · 30/04/2012 09:15

OMG - when I finally finish I will have been doing the school run from 1995 - 2018. AGGGGGHHHHH.

(and that isnt including nursery run - add another three years on for that)

I don't get the manical school mum/dad drivers - we are all dropping our kids off, going to work or the gym (!) so why the crazy dangerous driving around kids?? But my favourite are the Judge Mums who huff and sigh at those daring to use a car and not walk. Wait until they are trying to move refusnik teenagers from their warm duvet caves....

GeorgiaBareResearch · 30/10/2017 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nikephorus · 30/10/2017 15:51

Don't restart a bloody thread from 5 years ago just to promote your research - you have your own thread so stick to it!!!!

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