Parents who don't RSVP to kids party invitations are total arseholes!

[RedHotPokers]

Are they ignorant, disorganised, uncaring, rude, or just selfish?
Or all of the above?

Its not like in this day and age its necessary to put quill to paper and send a wax sealed document by messenger across the country.

Its just a fecking text!

'DD/DS can/can't come to the party. Thanks for the invitation.' TEN words, and I'd even settle for the slightly less polite six word version!

What is the matter with these people? And how would they feel if they were the ones not knowing if their DC was going to have 3 friends or 15 at their party, not to mention the bloody cost of paying for kids who may or may not turn up.

Seriously, TOTAL arseholes. Grrrrrr. AIBU?

One mum said to me "youll have to remind me about the party. I forget everything". So i put her down as a no.

Fuckers!!!!

ClothesofSand - do you expect people to post reply slips back rather than text you? Now I think that's odd.

It's a lot more effort to stick a reply slip in an envelope than just text someone quickly isn't it?

I wouldn't post it back! I would sign it and shove it back in the book bag it came out of.

I don't give people my mobile phone number unless they need it for emergencies (my mother, the children's schools) so the people wouldn't be able to text me anyway.

Facebook is your friend.

alot of my son'e friend parents are on facebook, so i have had alot of invites via facebook also a proper invite

Oh right - I never see all the mums/kids so that isn't an option. I don't even know what some of them look like :o

I have come to the conclusion some people do not understand RSVP, so i now put "please let my mum (narniasnarnia, mobile number) know if you can come or not" on the invites.

"But puzzled you can just decline. It's not rude to say no, it's just rude to say nothing."

Oh, I know, and I have declined some invites. But first of all I have to establish
a) Whose party it is (We got one recently with several very common first names but no surname mentioned, it honestly took a while to find out who it came from)
b) Whether DD is 'friends with' or indeed knows, the child concerned.
c) Whether we can get to the party location (we don't drive).

I have always replied to the invitations (except one which looked like a commercial flyer, the nursery staff had to chase all the parents for a reply to that one!). But I do admit to a certain sinking feeling when I receive them.

I wouldn't ever mean to not reply to an invite and I certainly wouldn't turn up if I hadn't but ...

... if only it were as simple as see the invite, check the calendar, and reply. It is NEVER as simple as that in my life. More often than not it goes like this: See invite, check calendar, realise party clashes with something else, wonder if there is a way plans can be switched around to accomodate everything, discuss with DH, realise that DH has agreed to work so won't be around, think about asking Grandma but realise it is too late in the evening, go to bed, wake up, go to work, remember I should be asking Grandma something, realise it is too late, go to bed ... a few days pass ... suddenly realise in a panic that I should have replied to an invite, search fruitlessly for said invite, remember that I need to ask Grandma to help ... blah, blah, blah!

Which reminds me. DD has been invited to a party in a few weeks time which clashes with (ends 15 minutes before) a party DH and I are going to ... in fancy dress. Must see if Grandma can pick up from that one, but it's a bit late tonight ... !!

YANBU. I always reply even when (as has happened today) ds has an invitation for a party which is in 2 days time! Fortunately he can go, and the party boy (who will be 11) will be happy with money as a gift (as I won't have time to shop for a gift before then).

At ds's last party he invited 16 people and 3 never replied. None of them actually turned up, but we weren't sure until the party.

Look, it's a faff, of course. Kids' parties are.
But to call people who don't repond for whatever reason TOTAL ARSEHOLES is something of an over-reaction.
Judging by the reponses on this thread, these things happen to the best of people

Just had a text from the parents of the last child

YANBU and I'm guilty of forgetting too!
Ringing up in the morning to say you can't make it, because of an event you must have known about for weeks is a bit irritating too!

I don't see why you wouldn't respond though, unless for some reason you hadn't received the invitation in the first place, and therefore didn't know about it. This happened to us once, not sure how, but the invitation was given to ds by the other child at school and got put in his tray (year 1 I think, so not that reliable at that age). Ds appeared not to know he had an invitation (despite several of his friend stalking about the party, he seemed to think he wasn't invited). It was only at the end of term when the contents of his tray came home, I realised what had happened. I did then apologise to the party boy's parents though.

DS (3) had an invitation 2 weeks ago for a party this weekend, only contact number on it is a mobile number that doesn't work. I have no idea who the parent of the birthday girl is, so I've had to write a little note explaining that DS can't attend (the party is on his birthday!) and put it in the "home box" at nursery. I really hope that the parent got the note, but I can't be the only person who can't RSVP by phone/ text as requested.

I haven't had a single text or rsvp from any of dd's 20ish party invitees. I've had to approach them all to confirm yes or no after waiting 2 weeks to hear back. It really really annoys me. It wouldn't occur to me not to respond to an invite. We're now having 15 girls and no boys as I couldn't face chasing up boys parents too.

The problem with the hard line on not admitting child with ignorant parents and/or not paying for an extra place just in case, is that it isn't the poor child's fault. I couldn't bear to have to disappoint a child so I'd probably pay for the extra places just in case. Which is why I would never have a party in an expensive pay per place venue to begin with - far too risky!

And nearly every parent I approached knew what I was going to say before I said it!!

But then my other bugbear is the parents who send out invites and don't seem themselves to be aware of the meaning of the RSVP at the bottom. Many a time I've phoned to say DS can attend said party and had a pretty gruff parent on the other end making me wonder why I'd bothered. I suppose they're bemoaning the cost of another place.

After reading this thread I de-constructed the kitchen and found the invite. I don't think I need to RSVP though cos she's got completely the wrong name on the invite so it's obviously not for my DS anyway. I remember her saying something about "little Owen" when she gave me the invite but I didn't twig that's what she thinks DS is called.

It sis sad for the children who's parents don't reply - which is why I would always chase.

But I am afraid many times you pay up front, so if they can't confirm a week before then I don't book their place and they simply can't come.