Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a grammar school is the only option for my DCs...

156 replies

secondaryfool · 08/03/2012 08:23

A bit of background: Wasn't brought up here, neither was DP. In our country there is a system with five different types of secondary schools, depending on how well you achieve at school you go to a grammar school, a comprehensive school etc. Both me and DP went to grammar schools. We are told DCs are very bright, and they are doing very well at school....

Personally, I think primary schools are pretty brilliant in the UK, not so much secondary schools...

We live in a rough area of the country and even at primary school it seems quite normal to use swear words etc. I've found drugs and condoms on on the school premises (not from primary school kids, I hope!, teenagers hang out there in the afternoons) - and this is one of the better schools of the city!

Anyway, I'm not bothered with primary school. The secondary schools though bother me. So many pupils seem to have no respect for teachers, they are called names on a daily basis. Pupils smoke weed like we used to smoke cigarettes, there are seperate entrances and car parks for teachers, they have to swipe a card to enter, for safety reasons. In some schools there are up to seven safety doors you need to go through to be in the actual school. It's like a prison. So alien to me where at our schools anybody can enter any part of the building at any time...

I don't want my children to be influenced by those kind of people, and I know from primary school how much children are influenced by their peers: hair style, clothes, language, interests, video-games, who has already got a mobile and who hasn't, etc. Hopefully, it will be recommended that they go to (state) grammar school (is that how it works, recomendation of teacher?). Don't really want them to go to a posh public one, no need for that, but a normal school with kids like them who have been brought up with values and morals...

OP posts:
Original poster
secondaryfool · 09/03/2012 10:13

Ok, so as the car park thing is repeatedly being brought up:

Having separate car parks is the result of the fear teachers have of being attacked by students. It's not just that the staff car parks are separate from the pupils'/visitors' car park, they have separate paths and staff enter through separate doors, just because of the violence towards them and their property (cars). This is according to teachers I've worked with, not my imagination btw... So a school where this isn't an issue is very likely a school with little violence/antisocial behaviour etc.

OP posts:
seeker · 09/03/2012 10:22

I am finding it increasingly hard to believe you. I have family in Bradford schools and a sil who is a teacher in one. I have one family member who wouldn't send their child to one, but that is because they are unreconstructed racists. Teachers are not routinely attacked in the car park. That is an insane thing to say.

MrsBeakman · 09/03/2012 10:44

Could you phone the local authority and ask them to provide you with a list of schools where a single car park is provided for both teachers and children to park in and where the children don't attack the teachers on the way into school. That way you will have a shortlist to work from when picking a school.

GrimmaTheNome · 09/03/2012 12:16

...where the children don't attack the teachers on the way into school. That way you will have a shortlist to work from when picking a school.

Methinks a very long list actually. Grin

Has anyone directed the OP to the 'Bog Standard Comprehensive' thread yet? - lots of people celebrating their kids doing what the vast majority do and going to normal local schools.

vess · 09/03/2012 12:32

Can't blame the OP for not wanting to send her kids to a rough secondary school - most parents don't, and will do their best to avoid it.

Original poster
secondaryfool · 09/03/2012 14:29

Beakman and Grimma:

Do you live in Bradford?

OP posts:
seeker · 09/03/2012 14:31

As I said, I have relations in Bradford schools and a sil who teaches in one. Don't recognise what you're saying at all.

ClothesOfSand · 09/03/2012 14:40

I did hear in the news that Bradford Girl's Grammar was going to become a free school; it is currently independent. That would put Bradford in the odd position of having selective state education for girls but not boys. Do you have girls, OP?

Otherwise, you are going to have to apply to neighbouring LEA shools, if you are within travelling distance.

hackmum · 09/03/2012 15:42

Well, everyone seems to be having a go at the OP. Criticisms seem to fall into two categories:

  1. Ordinary comps are just fine, you've got an exaggerated view of the problems.
  1. Ordinary comps are really terrible, but so are grammars and private schools, and if you think they're going to be any better you're a deluded fool, ha ha ha.

I think people ought to get together and decide the party line before they comment.

exoticfruits · 09/03/2012 16:03

I have every sympathy with OP, if the area is rough and the schools are bad then I am not surprised that she is seeking an escape route. I would suggest she goes into the education office and discusses the options and gets information on the grammar school selection process-or asks her DC's Head teacher. She needs to be properly informed to know that a teacher's recommendation will not count.

OriginalJamie · 09/03/2012 16:38

hackmum

What a silly thing to say. There is no "party line". People respond as individuals, for whatever reason they wish

lilolilmanchester · 09/03/2012 16:39

hackpoint, there isn't a party line. People are responding to the OP based on their own experiences. The OP seems to think that by going to grammar school, her children will not be in contact with the types of children/behaviours she doesn't like..... people have just been pointing out that actually going to a grammar school is no guarantee her DCs will be shielded from 'undesirables'. There were also some over-generalisations about non-grammar schools. If people don't share these views, they are entitled to comment.

snowball3 · 09/03/2012 18:06

Well I went to Bradford (Girls) Grammar when it actually was a Grammar, as did my sister and neice.
I think we were all pretty undesirable at the timeGrin

lucykat · 09/03/2012 18:11

Your child will need to pass the 11+. Very competitive but most parents, (not all), whose children do pass, pay for private tuition in the months leading up to the exam. It does seem to help, as it gets the child used to answering questions within an exam setting.

Good luck.

giveitago · 09/03/2012 20:25

Our nearest grammar has no catchment area and anyone in the country can apply so it's not exactly full of local kid - if someone gets in they just move into the area. Check the criteria for your local grammar.

State schools don't run on recommendation here.

Best of luck but I think you're going to be disappointed.

BTW I went to a grammar school and in the 6th form students had their own car park and teachers had their own car park.

notanotter · 09/03/2012 22:16

snowball bradford girls still is a grammar school

MrsBeakman · 09/03/2012 22:40

It says here that grammar schools "are state schools which select their pupils on the basis of academic ability." So if Bradford Girls is currently an independent school, then it is not really a grammar school, even if it has kept the name it had when it was one.

CakeMixture · 09/03/2012 22:50

There is another option!
You could home educate - then your kids wouldn't need to mingle with the weed smokers or the kids whose parents spent months preparing them to pass the 11+.
Tbh I think yabu :)

zeeboo · 09/03/2012 23:07

I love how the OP knows so little about the school system that she thinks that Grammar places are handed out like prefect badges and she doesn't even realise that her city doesn't actually HAVE any grammar schools but yet she has a relative that works in a local comp who has never mentioned the 11+ or the lack of grammars but has explained all about the drug use and carpark violence.
Yeah OP, course you're not a wind up merchant.

OriginalJamie · 10/03/2012 10:26

Yes. Faux naively of the journo

hackmum · 10/03/2012 11:55

"What a silly thing to say. There is no "party line". People respond as individuals, for whatever reason they wish"

I was making a little joke. I'm sorry you didn't get it.

OriginalJamie · 10/03/2012 12:20

I'm sorry too

snowball3 · 10/03/2012 12:27

Bradford Girls Grammar is a private independent school now, it's not a Grammar any more!

snowball3 · 10/03/2012 12:30

Mind you, if it becomes a free school next year, the OP could send her DC to a grammar school- even if in name only!

HillyWallaby · 10/03/2012 12:33

I doubt there is a senior school in the whole of the UK, state, private, selective or non-selective, rough or middle class, that does not have an issue with pupils smoking weed at the very least. It is utterly endemic among kids now.