Mrs Bloody Judgy Pants - And yes I know IABU but need to vent anyway!

[ohdearwhatdoidonow]

Right. For the record, I hate the Daily Mail and my view on the benefits system is laid back. Yes there are people that cheat the system, but by and large I believe that it supports those who need it.

I have worked from being 16, I have been fortunate to not have to rely on any benefits apart from SMP twice. Never been entitled to anything else.

I have lived in my current house for 14 years, it was an ex council house but I bought it from someone who had bought it from the council.

My current next door neighbour moved in (to an existing council house) about 6 years ago following a nasty divorce, she delighted in telling me "how much she had come down in the world"! by moving into our street!

Anyway - she has 4 kids, 18, 14, 12 and 1. Never worked a day since moving in. She had had a nose job and a boob job, and she told me/and showed me! I didn't ask how - not my business.

Now this is a rough neighbour - Police have battened her door down, her son has slept on my couch because she's locked him out, banned for drink driving and driving under the influence of drugs. I know this - she has quite openly told me. Lots of late night screaming matches with her "friends" and "boyfriends", police called regularly, about a dozen times in the last 2 or 3 years they have knocked on my door looking for her or her son etc etc - you get the picture.

Our relationship has deteriorated. Her kids throw dirty nappies into my garden, she built 2 bloody sheds in her front garden (facing my front door).

Anyway - sorry - point of this the bloody council. Despite putting new fencing around her garden last year, this week they've spent 3 days painting the bloody thing. Left the house this morning she's getting her bloody house and windows painted. They were all only done last year. She had a new kitchen at Christmas because she had a fire (her fault).

Now AIBU (I know I am and this is more personal than general) for thinking this person does not deserve all the help/money/support that she is getting when there are far more worthy causes to spend my bloody tax on! It's so frustrating turning out for work every day, doing a 50 or 60 hour week to see her milking it!

I would move house!

Right so if you take out all the judging, you're left with...

AIBU to think the Council should not put money into maintaining their own properties?

YABU

HTH

If Y ABU and you know it clap your hands

Well it's not a popular stance to have on mumsnet but I am totally with you OP - I would be bloody pissed off too.

I'd contact Planning about the sheds. I might be wrong, but I thought you needed planning permission for outbuildings in your front garden.

She sounds like a nightmare :(

I can understand why you feel the way you do, but yes you are being unreasonable.

Hmmm... I'm agreeing with Worra on this one... and I don't think that happens often The council is simply maintaining her property.

YABU - It's not really about whether or not YOU think she deserves the help, money, and support. And are you quite happy for her 14yo, 12yo, and 1yo to go without as well?

Perhaps you need a hobby, as you are obviously far too concerned about your neighbour's life and circumstances.

So would you rather look have the house next door falling to bits? You wouldn't feel that would reduce the potential price of your own house or its saleability?

The council maintains its properties and rightly so.

YABU

If the point of the OP was she was fed up with her neighbour's anti social behaviour, then I'd say YANBU.

But being arsey because the council are maintaining their own property and because the woman has chosen to have surgery is just weird.

Triggles

I know Worra .. just turns the whole world on its head, doesn't it?

Don't people get tired of posting new threads about this type of thing?

I suggest to MN that we just keep ONE thread like this, keep it pinned to the top of the AIBU board, and refer people to it when they get itchy for a benefit bashing, judgemental thread.

I'm surprised there's no benefit bashing topic...there's a topic for every other friggin thing

I just find it amusing.

It's like people are sitting there reading on the screen and suddenly think "oh, I know! I'll post a stupidly judgemental post in AIBU about the skanky nasty people/neighbours on benefits living the posh life while I'm slaving away at my job. I know there's one posted at least once a day, often more, and they all turn out badly, but I really think it's a good idea."

If you're going to be REALLY ballsy, take your AIBU and start TELLING people IRL at the cafe, at the school, on the high street.. wherever you can. What? Oh, yes, of course, because that would be CONFRONTATIONAL and RUDE. Much safer to just post it on a message board where you can be dreadful anonymously.

SUrely that applies to most things on AIBU Triggles? SOmetimes people do need to vent because they don't want to be rude in real life. It helps to get things off your chest sometimes.

Also re your comment about the children going without - it's not a choice between children having nothing or the state paying for everything. There's a happy medium which most of us fall into which involves providing for our own.

She sounds like a nightmare neighbour.

Nightmare neighbours are everywhere, council, private, housing association.

It's her, not the 'lifestyle'.

Move if you hate it.

Yes but what the OP's of these threads normally boil down to is "I work for my money...they don't, blah blah"

So if the OP is that bitter then she can give up work and be just like her neighbour...problem solved.

Otherwise she can carry on working and just be grateful that her and her family are not like the skanks next door.

But for the love of baby cheeses, why do people keep banging on about it?

Where the hell do you live then? The council here have not painted the front of houses for 10+ years.

Is this a moan about the benefit system, nasty neighbours or the council.

Same old. Same old. Boring..

Hang on a minute - I've lived in council accommodation for the best part of 39 years, and have never come across this level of maintenance. Yearly paint jobs? Really? It must be different in Glasgow then.

x-post Evil

I've lived here 17 years in a fairly mixed/council area and I've never seen them paint my neighbour's houses.

They also don't replace fences unless they're boundary/semi detached.

As for replacing the kitchen after a fire (her fault or not), would you expect them to shrug and say "Oh well, suck it up"?

I think you should contact the council about her throwing her rubbish in your garden, and also about the sheds.

She sounds horrible.

Lol Ladies Thank you! As I saidKNOW ibu needed to vent! I am normally very rational and tolerant as I said in my post. This morning got the better of me and I promise not to get irrational on me again!

Excluding my issues with my neighbour and in a serious note. The fences were done last year I still have the letter from the contractor ...as we are in the area etc. Baffles me why they are painting the fences & the houses again and at the same time closing our local community pool as a cost cutting measure!

As for me I'm normally a nice helpful person but I am allowed an off day once in a while!

Peace!

I don't know why they're painting the houses again but the fence I expect would be to protect the wood...which is a money saving exercise in itself.

I'm not sure why you've got the hump about the sheds either, unless they're breaching planning laws?

If so, you could complain about that....and obviously the rubbish throwing.

Is this like one of those "I'm not being prejudiced but........" type threads?

I think you would have gotten a lot more sympathy if you had just said - my neigbour moved in to her council property last year, she seemed OK to start with but our relationship has broken down and there have been incidents of rubbish being thrown into the garden etc etc, rather than feeling you had to set yourself above this woman in some way by telling us how she doesn't work and you do etc etc. As it is, this thread is a bit of an own goal and you are going to get a hard time.

PS: Just not liking the daily fail does not qualify you as non-judgemental, you have to actually be non-judgemental