To really not envy my friends?

[PamPerdbrat]

We have 2 great friends; they're a couple too and we've known them the whole of our adult lives. They're great fun. We are mid 20's, they are mid 30's but childless and as a result they have EVERYTHING. Super fast car, nicely done house, everything's new and shiny and fab, ££££'s worth of entertainment system... I mean, wow! She has a great job at work, something I aspire to be. She's very respected in a male oriented environment and at work; I model myself on her. I think she's brillo pads.

They were quite against us getting married (we'd only been together 2 years) and when we got pregnant with our son soon after, they were shocked but supportive.

When we first had DS, we really struggled. I remember her walking down my road and me thinking 'take me with you!!!' and I really envied her for being able to relax in the evenings etc.

But now, our DS is growing up and he's just this fab little boy. We are out and about all the time. When we meet up with our friends, we always have loads to say and stuff has always happened. For them? Not so much. They've spent the whole Saturday playing Ps3 games together, or watching movies. They only really go out to shows etc if invited by us. They don't really have any interests, and looking closer at them, nothing really happens to them and they don't really do a lot. AIBU to think 'you're a bit boring', or is it an inevitable part of the separation between childless couples and those with children? It's almost like they've stayed as teenagers, it's a bit strange in a way.

something a bit fiiiiiiishy about the OP

I really don't get posts like this

'Let me declare to all that I am NOT jealous of friends'

Well either you ARE jealous or you have come on here to attack and judge your 'friends'.

Glad you're not my mate.

YANBU not to envy them. YABU to suggest that your life is somehow better than theirs. There is no need to compare.

sounds to me like you are jealous, but trying very very hard to convince yourself and others that you are SOOOO NOT JEALOUS!
I have a child and im still boring so i dont think having kids makes you a thrill to be around

op, tell me "brillo pads" was a typo or something?

Our great sat night is 'take me out' me dh and dd, then we watch a midsummer murder while she goes to her room( in disgust) to Skype friends, bottle or two of wine and bobs ur uncle!

Each to own, don't judge love!

Meh, I quite like having friends who have different circumstances - older, younger, children, no children, children grown up etc etc. It makes life more interesting, I think I'd get the stepford wives claustrophobia vibes if all my friends had 2.4 kid identikit lives to mine.

Embrace the differences, give Ps3 a go, you might like the occasional teenage night out.

Some single people are boring, some are not. Some married people are boring, some are not. Some parents are boring, some are not! I don't think OP meant anything by it. Just sometimes it can take a while for us to get full measure of our friends

I don't think it is inevitable that the friendship will end because you have children and they don't.

I'm still friends with childless friends, I like being with them because it's a bit of escapism. On the other hand we have drifted apart from friends who also have children, you think it will be great all having kids together but then you end up having very different parenting styles and just kind of drift apart.

You seem to think that you are superior to them and your life choices were 'right' and 'meaningful' because you decided to have children. It seems to me though that you've been envious of them for a long time and this is an attempt by you to clutch at straws and pick the one thing you think you have 'over' them. It seems pretty pathetic to me, and not a nice way to feel about your close friends.

their life sounds lovely. Oh for the days of movie marathons and having new shiny pristine things. I love DC but sometimes have a pang of what it was like to have no ties and not have to spend weekends in blooming farms or soft play.

I dont think its inevitible that you drift apart when your friends have kids, surely you had lots in common before the kids came along ? My closest friend has 2 kids and i have none. I do think its normal to be a bit envious sometimes eg the lovely mummy moments she has and she is sometimes envious that i can go to the pub without 2 weeks notice and a back-up babysitter.

PamPerdbrat don;t pull the thread I enjoyed reading it and the views of others - I get what you mean, and I don't think you sounded wrong just maybe went off thread a bit - I actually think it's healthy to aspire to other people, maybe not material gains, but hell why not career and the other stuff - we all need people to look up to in life. I think all you've done is look up to this couple and come to your own conclusion that they ain't all that great, you've just come to that conclusion in one big hit.

Different strokes for different folks. I can see the attraction in being childless- you know the lie ins, the freedom, the endless holiday possibilities, the clothes budget, the carefree sex, being able to go out as and when you like. It's actually rather appealing.Having said that I love my two and wouldn't swap them for the world. But I do look to the being a certain age when they will have flown the nest (I hope). It's good that you are not jealous and enjoying life with your son. Far better that than wishing you were in someone elses shoes. I guess thats why you started this thread , you used to feel that' way but now you've looked a little closer you don't. As they say all that glitters is not gold. Love a cliche me.[WINK]