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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be beyond livid at my daughter's school?

83 replies

mogwhistle · 06/03/2012 23:09

Today my daughter hurt her wrist falling badly from a trampet in PE - first period so this happened at around 9.10 am. PE teacher said she could sit out rest of lesson - that was the sum of her concern. During DD's next lesson she informed teacher that she was struggling to write so was given a 'permission' slip to visit matron during break-time.

DD went to matron ( about 10.40 ) matron sprayed some Deep Heat and wrapped a flimsy bandage on her wrist.

DD went to rest of lessons - didn't have lunch 'cos couldn't carry her tray, dropped equipment during science and smashed it and when she eventually got home she was grey faced and her fingers & thumb were like fat blue sausages.

Needless to say I took her to A&E and not only has she fractured the most difficult bone possible (for healing) the swelling is so bad that they won't be able to do anything for 10 days.

I have to take DD2 to school tomorrow and explain why DD1 won't be there - not sure I will be able to manage it in a civil manner so I would like to know am I being unreasonable to be so angry or should I just put this down to an accident and 'one of those things' that happens.

DD1 is 13 by the way and not a baby but she is my baby!

OP posts:
Maryz · 07/03/2012 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pandemoniaa · 07/03/2012 00:10

I'm really surprised that they let her go all day with so little treatment. DS1 was 13 when he fractured his wrist during the lunch break - classic playground football injury - and whilst he was never one to make a fuss, the school arranged for him to be taken straight up to our local Minor Injuries Unit where it was X-rayed. This revealed a displaced fracture which meant he had to be referred to our nearest A & E (8 miles away) for it to be set under local anaesthetic. But I was phoned as they set off for the local hospital so I met him up there.

I know that fractures can be tricksy things to diagnose but the amount of swelling and discolouration that the OP's dd was suffering from should surely have been a sign that more than Deep Heat was needed. Especially in a school which has a matron! So no, YANBU. Much more should have been done and much earlier. At the very least, you should have been contacted hours earlier.

BeeWi · 07/03/2012 00:12

If you genuinely feel that the staff were being neglectful and uncaring, then YANBU. If, however, you accept that mistakes can happen in a busy school day and you think perhaps the staff dropped the ball this time, rather than being deliberately uncaring then you may be being a little bit U, which would of course be entirely understandable because it's your precious daughter who has been hurt and it's natural to want to do everything to protect your child.

In my experience, few people working in schools are uncaring sorts and, if this was to happen under their care, they would feel pretty dreadful, regardless of getting a dressing down from a head teacher.

Original poster
mogwhistle · 07/03/2012 00:29

Thank goodness for the wise souls on mumsnet! Before posting on here I was set to go into school tomorrow and not leave until I had at least 5 bloody scalps hanging from my belt.
Now , listening to the wise word here I feel much calmer - I will still speak to the school but will do so in a calm manner and take it from there.

OP posts:
mrsred · 07/03/2012 00:43

I used to teach secondary PE, tricky to say what should have been done exactly as not there at the time, but i would usually have asked how it was, pain etc, i would have sent to school nurse just to check out, think even if your daugter had under played it i would have suggetsed she went, as means its not my decision what happens next as school nurse would have better first aid or medical training than me!
I have a cousin who twisted her ankle playing netball and turned out to be much more nasty, teacher wouldn't let her go to nurse, which seemed strange to me as so simple to pass this sort of thing on, allow nurse to make a decision.
If nurse had sent your daughter back to me, saying all ok, i still would have checked at end of lesson if hand ok, and if like you say was swelling or your daughter said she was in pain i would have taken her back to nurse myself, and probably suggested that she phoned home to get it checked out.
Think school will struggle to give you 'answers' but you are totally reasonable to ask for them and point out that this should have been handled much better.

Original poster
mogwhistle · 07/03/2012 00:52

Thank you mrsred I am going up to bed now but your comments are much appreciated - it seems I'm not being overly silly and overprotective which I must admit with DD1 I am apt to be. And again a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to post Thanks

OP posts:
treadwarily · 07/03/2012 01:04

I would feel livid too and I would find it hard to be civil. I think they should have phoned you to let you know she'd hurt her wrist and was in pain, let you speak to her on phone so you could decide.

I agree that fractures are not always easily picked up but this seems negligent given the swelling and her continued pain.

My dd understates things too, I have told her teacher (she is much younger than yours) and asked them to ring if she complains at all and they have been v. good about this.

ibizagirl · 07/03/2012 06:13

Definitely not being unreasonable. Similar thing happened to me when i was 6. I got pushed off a high beam in pe and fell and hurt my arm. Left all day in agony. When my mum collected me at half three i was in shock. Soaking wet with sweat and all my long hair was stuck over my face and i was shaking. Needless to say, my mum went mad (well, not really mad as she is quite quiet) but you know what i mean. There was no phone call, nothing for me to be collected. Straight to a and e. Broken arm and put in plaster for the six weeks holiday!

likelucklove · 07/03/2012 06:21

YANBU! Sure accidents happen in school but they seem to be poorly informed on how to spot fractures. I would speak to the Head to find out what happened from their perspective too.

When I was 8, I landed awkwardly off the triangle box in PE, fainted from pain, and was then made to carry on the day even though I said 'my leg hurts, it wants to fall off'. My nan picks me and and sees I can't walk so takes me to A&E.... I fractured my ankle/leg in 3 places! This was 14 years ago.

If your not happy, can you contact LA and rather than flame the school, suggest training is needed on injuries and first aid. It seems to happen too often.

Sirzy · 07/03/2012 07:16

Does the school not have a kitchen? If so why didn't they send someone there to get some ice to use on it?

I would ask the school to see the accident book records as that should have been completed by both the pe teacher and matron.

They should have worked on the simple "in in doubt check it out" rule. Or at least patched her up (ice and bandage) and told her to go back at the start of dinner and then see how she was

DoingTheBestICan · 07/03/2012 07:43

This happened to me back in the 80s,i fell during morning break & heard my leg snap,couldnt walk at all,teacher made me walk/limp to sick bay & they left me there all day.
Come going home time my leg was twice the size & one of the teachers decided to drive me to the hospital,whilst i was there they contacted my mum & told her i had sprained my ankle.
Turned out i had fractured both my tibia & fibula,i was in plaster for 16 weeks,it wouldnt heal & the consultant wanted to put pins in if it didnt start showing signs of healing,luckily for me it did.

QueenSconetta · 07/03/2012 07:44

The other thing that sticks out to me is that she went without lunch! They let her go hungry? Very bad form. Defo give them what for this morn.

recall · 07/03/2012 07:52

YANBU

LIZS · 07/03/2012 08:20

yanbu. It is inexcusable not to apply ice and ring you if she was in pain or there was a risk of fracture. Hope she is ok this morning.

Merrylegs · 07/03/2012 08:28

Blimey. So the 'Matron' knew to apply ice to a swollen hand but there was no ice pack so she thought 'I know, I'll use deep heat instead.'

Ouch! What?

Because it was the only medicine she had left in the room?

Nice and random.

I can kind of see why in a secondary school the teachers aren't 'joined up' enough to follow through with a an injury sustained in the morning, but the buck totally stops with the fake Matron I'm afraid.

Amaretti · 07/03/2012 08:34

Queen s - in secondary no one would have any way of knowing that she went without lunch. I'm more surprised that her friends failed to sort this out than that staff were unaware.

mummytime · 07/03/2012 09:11

I think the Science teacher should have also noticed. When I worked in school I would have noticed equipment had been broken, and am sure I would have noticed her hand wasn't right (I'd have been looking for cuts, cos kids do hide them) and sent her to Matron. Admittedly the Matron seems useless, and they've now got themselves into a situation where you could sue them. (Not fror the original injury but the lack of appropriate care).

Sidge · 07/03/2012 09:20

In most schools 'Matron' is rarely a qualified nurse, she tends to be more of a pastoral carer/first aider.

But if in any doubt they should have called you to assess your child and decide whether you wanted to take her for medical assesment.

They handled it very badly IMO.

betterwhenthesunshines · 07/03/2012 09:27

YANBU

But I broke my wrist at home roller skating when I was 11 and my parents didn't take me to hospital for 2 days. :o Ooops, but to be fair we had spent the previous Sunday sitting in A&E after I fell out of a tree and hurt my wrist which turned out to be nothing....

Floggingmolly · 07/03/2012 09:30

Jesus, YANBU. My dd broke her nose in a fall at afternoon break when she was nine, (complete with scraping half her face off Sad) and the school decided not to ring me as it was "only an hour till pick up time". Trust me, they now know what a very bad idea that was.

QuickLookBusy · 07/03/2012 09:36

I'm afraid I had a similar thing with my DD. She dislocated her wrist during PE when she was in year 5.

When I picked her up at home time, I took one look and took her straight to A and E.

I complained the next day at school but also made sure my DD knew she had to speak up for herself if she was in pain. She wasn't to listen to adults if they said she would be ok when she knew she was in agony.

HintofBream · 07/03/2012 09:57

As Sirzy says, definitely ask to see the accident book at once. If there is nothing in it, they are in breach of the law. Don't give them time to cobble up a retrospective entry. It won't help your DD but might make them more vigilant for the next poor child.

StealthPenguin · 07/03/2012 09:58

YADNBU!!

When I was 12 a bully pushed me off of a low wall and I landed on the back of my head. I was woozy, dizzy, couldn't keep my balance and threw up twice. The school's "policy" was to put ice pack on the back of my head and then tell me it's not that serious and I'd be punished if I missed any lessons.

My mother went flippin' berserk when she came to collect me. She couldn't believe she hadn't been contacted. Never seen her so angry.

natwebb79 · 07/03/2012 10:02

Definitely give the staff an opportunity to give their side of the story. I teach secondary and had an incident where a girl hurt her ankle and was late to my lesson. She was smiling/giggling and assured me it was ok. The next day her mother came in screaming at me accusing me of shouting at her daughter and not helping her when in pain. Turns out the ankle had got worse and the girl didn't want a telling off from her mum for not speaking up do blamed me (she had no idea her mum would take me to task!). The girl was very sheepish when I asked her to come and see me so I could apologise Smile Just saying these things can happen with no malice intended on either side. Hope your daughter heals quickly x

Shutupanddrive · 07/03/2012 10:07

YANBU!! Shock
I would be livid!