To think my aunt was ridiculous over this response to her son?

[Fishpond]

My aunt has twin 4-year-olds, a boy and a girl. She is a HUGE proponent of gender separation, the girl likes everything pink and mummy-ish, the boy likes blue and tractors and trucks - IMO not because they LIKE these things as much as they were pushed on them since they were infants.

Anyway, I went to buy them a couple of carseats for my car not too long ago. The boy wanted a pink one like his sister, because he thought it was cool. I was totally fine with it and would have bought it had there been 2. As such, there was only 1, so I bought it first and installed it. Came back and explained the situation to the twins & their mother. She promptly went "Don't you dare buy him a pink car seat - he is a BOY he does not need anything pink. Pink is for girls."

Of course he then parroted his mother the rest of the time "pink is for girls, I don't want it now," whereas before, we'd had a lovely chat about how every colour is for everyone and a particular colour isn't just for one gender or the other. I spoke to her privately and asked was it really a huge deal for him to have a pink carseat in MY car - it's not as if she would have ever seen it, they only ride with me maybe once every week or two, and no one else would even know!! Her response was "Because eventually he will know that pink is for girls and he will hate it and want you to buy him a new one." I got tiffed and said that it was only the perpetuation of these gender stereotypes that would lead him to think that later.

Anyway - not wanting to cause a huge family row I bought him the black & tan carseat.

Who was BU?

(BTW: The car seat was not 100% pink - here is a link to it and its "masculine" equivalent: "boy" and "girl"

Difficult...

They are her children but it is your car.

For those who think I'm lying or stretching truth about the circumstances - I'm not, and obviously not "pushing" pink on him, I allowed his sister to choose which one she wanted and thought he should be given the same opportunity. In the shop he said "I want a pink one like I, it's cool and we can match" - and I said thats fine but there's only 1 for right now. Actually they initiated the pink conversation themselves - 4-yr-olds often discuss things they hear others discuss, no? He said something along the lines of "I can have pink too?" and I said "yes" and he continued "it's not just for girls?" I said no, everyone can like every color, they're just colors it doesn't matter. He was fine with that until his mother said otherwise.

The reason I didn't buy 2 neutral seats is that she chose the pink when we first saw them. What is the harm of allowing her a color choice? I don't buy the kids lots of things, what was I meant to do, put my foot down and say No, you're both having neutral colors because I said so. I genuinely didnt see a problem allowing them to choose.

And obviously I didn't push the pink issue because I told my aunt ok, and respected her wishes (daft as I find them) and bought him the "boy" carseat.

"You should go ahead and buy it, then you can be smug short term, and she will be long term"

Yup, that's about the long and short of it.

MerciBucket.

i think ity looks really cool, and most definitely not girlish!
it's shocking pink, not "girly" pink.

the aunt was being a knob.

my little sister is the same - her boys are all indoctrinated in blue for boys and pink's a girl's colour.
i don't care either way, but would prefer not to have just pink for girls.
sooooo glad she didn't have a girl.

I agree the segregation of colours along gender lines is artificial and harmful

www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

But you can't reason with an unreasonable person. :(

oh, you didn't. :(

Strange isn't it that as the world of opportunities has opened up more and more for girls in RL the stereotyping has become more pronounced. When my dds were small (1970s) the baby and toddler clothes for them were all colours - I remember some wonderful stripey and check babygros (oranges, reds, navy, green etc), same with dresses and trousers. None of this sea of pink (girls) camouflage/blue (boys).

One of my daughters and I were looking through some old photo albums the other day and she commented on the range of colours of the clothes she was wearing "not this ghastly compulsory pink everywhere we see now" she said.

Their car seats were bright red as a I recall.

We seem to be marching swiftly backwards when it comes to stereotypes

I have boy and girl twins and have come to the conclusion that IME it doesn't really matter how you bring them up - boys will still be boys . I honestly brought them up with the same values, the same toys, books , tv programmes, nursery (although I did dress them in the appropriate gender clothes).

When my son was about 2/3 he used to love wearing dresses, nail varnish, lip gloss and playing with dolls. I wouldn't buy him guns or weapons because I thought it would make him too aggresive.

By the time he was about 4 he used to "eat" his toast into gun shapes, and make weapons from lego, loo rolls and sticks. He still played with his dolls, but only to fight with them.

Now he's 11 and he's such a "rough lad". He likes rugby, karate, rock bands, climbing trees and getting his hands dirty. He couldn't give a stuff about his appearance as long as he is clean and his clothes are warm, that's all he's bothered about.

His sister on the other hand is a typical "girly girl". She likes american trashy girly tv, Justine bieber, clothes, makeup and dancing. She spends about an hour every morning showering and styling her hair for school, uses perfume and hair products.