to be upset that DH is at a dinner party while DS has temp of 102?

[chipping]

i'm waiting for a call back from a nurse (NHS Direct). DS (12 months) has been vomiting since 5am on & off, has finally settled, high temp. kept down 3oz milk this afternoon. nothing since. he's very lethargic, he's usually running around and v noisy.

DH is aware but we had planned to go to a dinner party tonight - he went, I didn't - not even on my radar with a sick child.

sorry - ds crying, have to go

very pissed?

I would be livid if DH did this! Talk about telling you and the kids stand in his priorities.

I hope DS feels better soon and you both get a good bath!!

I'm a single parent and I think one of the benefits of not being one is in this very scenario. Going and getting shit-faced is unacceptable. I'd be beyond furious. I'm furious on your behalf and I don't even know you

Frankly - going out and getting steaming drunk sounds preferable to scraping up puke - OP! you should have got out the door first

Yanbu my dh wouldn't consider going out apart from work if one of our dc was ill. Neither would I. Hope little man gets better soon x

YANBU at all! Jesus - just because you CAN cope on your own doesn't mean you HAVE to! There is no way on earth my DP would go out to a dinner party if one of the kids was ill. Hope DS is better soon (DD was up all night Friday vomiting - slept all day Saturday, right as rain Sunday) I would be livid in your situation. What an uncaring, unsupportive twat your DP has been.

Oh shite. Can you get anyone to sit with the older 3 (probably in bed by now?) whilst you drive your DS to wherever he is and plonk him on your DH?

Yeah, getting rat-arsed is definitely not acceptable in this situation.

Well yes of course it is possible to cope with pretty much anything if you have to, including multiple vomitting children, but who is seriously saying they would rather do it all on their own than have someone there to change the bed while they clean up the child?

I would be extremely pissed off if I was on my knees after a day with a sick 12 mo and 3 other dc and was sat on the sofa with the poorly child with sick in my hair whilst dh was getting "v pissed" at a "weekly thing". Not so much that you really need two adults to look after one child, more that it would be nice if my dh wanted to help me rather than abandon me to even more vomit.

Well I think 4 dcs makes a difference but that cuts both ways. It;'s a lot of work but it also means he's got used to children being sick and thinks it's no major issue, forgetting it's still a LOT of WORK!

The fact that he's too drunk to come home would massively piss me off though and were my dh to be so misguided I would tear several strips off him when he came home, assuming I bothered to let him in the house. That is NOT acceptable in this scenario. With three dcs to feed and get to bed tbh I would have expected him to stay at home.

I see about 100 people said the same thing whilst I was very slowly typing my ranty post...

Northern - yes he has had 4 childrens worth of experience that he can leave his wife to deal with them when they're sick!

YANBU especially if it is not work related, a weekly thing AND you have four children (and you had a nasty shock, and you have been up since 5am and have puke in your hair!).

I remember DC2 puking once when DH was away and there were little puddles of sick around the house where I hadn't had time to clear up one before the next had arrived. I hope he makes up to you in some way and that you have an OK night.

YANBU. I agree wholeheartedly with Patti for the same reasons she mentioned. Going to a work thing and being on standby in case he was needed would be just about acceptable, going a) on a jolly, b) and getting pissed c) being so pissed so he has to stay out is a hanging offence.

YANBU under the circumstances. Hope he's better soon.

have just put ds in cot.

thank you thank you - i always deal with the sick on my own. was feeling very sorry for myself & you made me smile.

i have beds to change & hair to wash

chipping did I read it correctly your dp won't be home at all tonight and will very very pissed?

Sorry meant to put only one 'very'

Chipping

YANBU The fact you can manage on your own is irrelevant...you shouldn't have to. He should be there pulling his weight, not going out to a weekly event and getting pissed.

OP, I have changed my mind- from YABabitU to YADNBU! If it's a weekly thing then he could and should have stayed at home, and he is being very selfish.

My exH went to a football match (away) the day that our 4yo and 6yo DDs had teeth removed under sedation. Dealing with the aftermath alone was one of the worst days of my life.

Personally, if he is just at a friend's house, then I think YANBU.

YANBU. This is a weekly dinner party, not a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to catch up with friends or an important work event. Have to say, I am a bit staggered at someone who has been at work all day getting so pissed by 9.30 on a Monday night at a weekly dinner party that he is not coming home tonight! How is he going to get to work tomorrow? Presumably, he is not going to be much use in the morning either!

Am I wrong, OP, or are you not really bothered by your DH's actions?

Most MNers here now think he's been unreasonable to go to a weekly event, get thoroughly pissed (on a Monday night!) so that he won't be home, thereby leaving you with 4 children, one of whom is pretty poorly.

And yet you're being very lighthearted about it now.

Don't get it myself.

I would never ever stop dh going out, if one of the children had a high temperature, or had been sick. But then dh only goes out with his mates a few times per year. And if they were very unwell, or I had coped with their sickness, all week, dh wouldn't even comtemplate going out. Not that this has ever happened.
But now we all know all the details, of the pissed, weekly dinner party, I too can't understand how OP is being so casual about it.