to think an interview should be a friendly experience?

[Mrstryingtohaveitall]

OK, by that I mean in an interview shouldn't the interviewee be made to feel welcomed and put at ease with a little bit of small talk, smile and general feeling of 'niceness'?

I'm looking for a new job after 14 years in the same company so out on the job market after a loooong time. Every interview I go to is cold, unfriendly and leaves me feeling like I'd rather slit my wrists than work there because of it. I've yet to be asked a single question which asks what I'm like as a person outside of work, what my interests are etc etc.

Am I expecting too much? Dont people smile at interviews any more?

I'm aware that I need to toughen up to a degree but blimey..... talk about depressing!

YANBU to expect a smile and warm greeting.

Your outside interests are irrelevant to the interviewer unless you can work them into a reply to show some skill/quality they are seeking.

YANBU. Conducting interviews successfully is a skill. Lots of people conduct interviews. Not so many have the skill to do so. Like driving.

If you make your interviewees feel ill at ease, you're never going to get the most from the interview.

I agree. This could just be because I find interviews really difficult and intimidating generally, but I always get on much better when they are more friendly and less formal. More like a chat to make sure you're competent and not crazy, and less like they're trying to catch you out with difficult questions.

Good replies! I seem to be getting "ball breakers", interviewers who ignore your CV but want to test you on ambigious questions which have no relevance to the job in hand.

I'm finding even PAs and receptionists are mega unfriendly..... why dont people smile and say hello?? Is it too hard?

I think the best way to assess whether someone is suitable at interview is to try and put people at ease. But beinga n interviewer and interviewing well isn't easy - it is askill. Some interviewers will be new to it and be nervous themselves, others will be tired/bored after interviewing for hours and some will mistakingly think that being stern is the best way to assess people.
So YABU

lesley33 - agree with you but even a stern and serious interviewer should smile and say hello or goodbye? Or thanks for coming in? Takes 3 seconds to do....

YABU in that it's entirely up to the interviewer how they choose to interview you. However you should not accept a job where the interview is an unfriendly experience, so YANBU to expect that people don't waste everyones time.

I conduct interviews from time to time and I'm always aware of how nerve-wracking it is for the people who are coming in to face three of us! Myself and fellow interviewers are always friendly, smiley, try to put the person at their ease and certainly aren't interested in catching anyone out. One colleague goes over the top IMO as in 'don't be nervous', 'sorry, I know it's a difficult experience but we'll try to be quick etc'. I don't see what is to be gained from being a 'ballbreaker' though

I've only had one interview where I thought the interviewer was getting the impression and info that they needed.

Interviews are generally hilarious.

I've generally had the view that I'm interviewing them as well as being interviewed. Works for me. I don't want to make a mistake in changing my job.

To many people have watched the latter rounds of The Apprentice where they get people in to do tough interviews!

I think this is very discourteous and doesn't help to find the best candidates. We always make people feel happy that they made the effort to come for the interview. We make them a cup of tea and, afterwards, if we think they are on the short list we show them round the office so they can see who we are. When I interview I go by the maxim "treat others how you'd like to be treated".

I have had some awful interview experiences. Considering I work in HR and have been on the other side of the table hundreds of times you would think I would find it easy.

I had an interview for an HR role at a well known chain of pubs and had been warned by the recruitment agency that interviews were tough there. It was awful there was a panel of 5 or 6 women there and it seemed they were all vying for the title of who could be the biggest cow. On my way down to reception I asked the interviewer who was escorting me if they had any idea when the second interviews were going to take place and she said to me "I don't think thats something that you need to worry about.".

I also remember years ago being interviewed for a junior secretary position when I had just left school. The young guy interviewing me leaned back in his chair with his legs splayed across the table and said "do something that I won't forget in a hurry". I asked for clarification and he said "the ball is in your court, entertain me". I proceeded to reel off names of footballers who had scored in Italia 90. I didn't get the job...

Haziedoll - OMG your experiences are at the same time hilarious but awful!

I interview people,yanbu to expect some warmth. It very much depends on the job you are applying for. Something corporate is likely to be more formal than say,a part time job in a local cafe.
The most important thing is that you feel you have been given the opportunity to sell yourself. If you aren't being offered anything then ask for feedback. Cvs with info on hobbies I think are pretty outdated unless the hobby relates to doing the job better. Are you walking in confidently with a warm smile? People mirror behaviour & so are more likely to be friendly back.

To many people have watched the latter rounds of The Apprentice where they get people in to do tough interviews!

That reminds me, my BiL had a meeting the other day with Bordan Tkachuk from the Apprentice interview round. We wound him up a treat beforehand about the 'lies' on his CV

Yanbu to expect them to smile, be friendly & put you at your ease. Actually, they are stupid not to do this, as they won't necessarily see the best in each candidate if some people are incredibly nervous.

But you are B a bit U to expect the panel to ask about your interests outside of work. I interview a lot, usually back to back all day, and we simply don't have time to chat about people's hobbies etc - much as we might like to!

I've generally had the view that I'm interviewing them as well as being interviewed.

Absolutely. They need an employee as much (if not more) than the candidate needs a job, they should be aiming to impress. If they're already rude to you on the interview, guess what they'll be like when you start working for them and they can officially boss you around!

However, I wouldn't expect them to ask personal questions and what your interests are etc. unless they are somewhat relevant to the position. And even then, I'd think it would be a bit nosey/unprofessional/bordering on illegal.

But it IS possible to be professional and polite at the same time, so no, not unreasonable to expect that at all.

YANBU - as Lottapianos says it's a nerve wracking experience and they aren't going to get the info they need from you if they don't bother to put you at your ease!

Mind you in the current climate, perhaps you have come across PA's and receptionists who are wondering if you are coming in to replace them, and that's why they aren't friendly!

I wonder if you are interviewing in a particular industry/for a particular role where the interviewers feel they should be putting you on the spot - to see how you react under pressure? (I think that all this measures though is how you react under pressure in an interview - so not very helpful in the real world)

I never ask people about their interests as it isn't relevant, there are other ways of putting people at ease.

Somebody could be a complete couch potato in their spare time and spend their evenings watching re-runs of TV Burp, it wouldn't necessarily mean that they aren't the best person for the job.

Icelollycraving - Agreed in that it depends on the role/industry etc. These are financial services jobs in Canary Wharf/City locations. I thought I was tough to a degree after all this time in the city. Obviously not lol.

If anything I am OVERLY friendly; smiling, confident, polite small talk,e.g. weather's nice, your offices are very nice etc etc. I tell them how great it was to meet them, thank them for their time etc. etc.

Bleurgghhhh! Job hunting stinks. Where's the wine

Haziedoll - "The young guy interviewing me leaned back in his chair with his legs splayed across the table and said "do something that I won't forget in a hurry".

The temptation to set fire to his crotch must have been overwhelming.

@ lashing.

I don't think he meant to quite so disgusting. I just think he genuinely didn't have a clue as to the normal procedure for conducting a job interview.

I once went for an internal position in the MOD and the interviewer was constantly texting on his phone and I was getting irritated so I said "is this texting going to go on for long as I'm not sure my answers are being heard and I'm getting annoyed and starting to wonder if it's part of the interview and you're expecting me to say something".

he then went red and muttered something about it being a 'security issue'

To this I said "bollocks, you're texting your wife about lasagne"

He did the gapey, fishface thing and I got up and left.

He then told my internal commander that the job was offered to me without mentioning any of the conversation - bear in mind he also hadn't found out anything about my capabilities.

Haziedoll - actually it sounds like your interviewer was a bit of a perve! Or do I just have a dirty mind?

leaves me feeling like I'd rather slit my wrists than work there because of it.

Listen to that feeling. Trust me, the interview is the best behaviour you'll ever see from a company. You're a stranger to them at that point, and they're trying to decide if they need you. Once hired, they will no longer have any reason to impress you. I've never, ever had a dubious interview experience turn into a fab job. The opposite - more times than I care to count. And my best jobs (and best bosses) have always been very pleasant interview experiences as well. Listen to your gut feeling about it, it's almost always right.

Laurie - another post