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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think an interview should be a friendly experience?

47 replies

Mrstryingtohaveitall · 05/03/2012 13:43

OK, by that I mean in an interview shouldn't the interviewee be made to feel welcomed and put at ease with a little bit of small talk, smile and general feeling of 'niceness'?

I'm looking for a new job after 14 years in the same company so out on the job market after a loooong time. Every interview I go to is cold, unfriendly and leaves me feeling like I'd rather slit my wrists than work there because of it. I've yet to be asked a single question which asks what I'm like as a person outside of work, what my interests are etc etc.

Am I expecting too much? Dont people smile at interviews any more?

I'm aware that I need to toughen up to a degree but blimey..... talk about depressing!

OP posts:

Original poster

Mrstryingtohaveitall · 05/03/2012 14:33

LaurieFairyCake - how weird is that!! Good for you though. Did you take the job? lol

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 05/03/2012 14:34

Icelollycraving · 05/03/2012 14:35

I am based in the city although not in that kind of industry at all. The people I meet that do work in that line (my clients) are a mixed bag,a bit like all walks of life really. Best of luck!

Original poster

Mrstryingtohaveitall · 05/03/2012 14:35

destroyedluggage - good points and food for thought. Thanks!

OP posts:

Haziedoll · 05/03/2012 14:39

A bit pervy and a bit naive I think. The girl being interviewed after me was very attractive and when he shook her hand he said "well hello there" in a creepy type voice so I think he was a bit of a lech.

The feedback he gave to the agency was that I came across as being a bit dull and they were looking for someone with a bubbly personality.

destroyedluggage · 05/03/2012 14:42

starting to wonder if it's part of the interview and you're expecting me to say something

This works as a good come-back to almost any dodgy question/situation. It allows them to save face but lets them know that you don't take any nonsense. Subtle!

Pendeen · 05/03/2012 15:24

Interesting comments here - I am thinking of taking on an assistant and have never interviewed before. My only experiences of being interviewed were for university places and my year out & Part 3 year (I now work for myself).

I would hope that I don't make the awful mistakes some on here have experienced from interviewers.

Original poster

Mrstryingtohaveitall · 05/03/2012 16:20

Good luck Pendeen :)

OP posts:

Proudnscary · 05/03/2012 16:22

I don't ask about people's hobbies etc when I'm recruiting. But I do make small talk when they come in about the weather, travel and I am always friendly.

Asking about extra curricular stuff is just a waste of precious time - I couldn't care less if someone goes sky diving (or muff diving) in their spare time, I want to know if they can do the job.

EduStudent · 05/03/2012 16:50

At one interview I went to, the interviewer was far more nervous than I was, to the point I ended up suggesting things they might like to ask me about

Got me the job!

Princessgenie · 05/03/2012 17:19

This is my first post!!

I work in HR and interview all the time and we work on the principle that we want EVERY candidate that we interview to want to work for the Company by the time the interview is over (in terms of how friendly, professional, welcoming, honest, etc we are).

They might not be right for this job, but they might be for something else later; they may go to work for a competitor; our biggest customer; one of our suppliers etc so we want to make sure that they liked us - and think that we are a great company. They might decide even that the job is not for them once they know enough about us; but they should always like us as a company.

No point in deliberately setting out to be evil in an interview!

NowThenWreck · 05/03/2012 18:36

Ooh, I have an interview tommorrow!
I really want the job, but it would be hard logistically as it's quite a long way away.(single parent)
Please princessgenie, can you tell me if I should bring up the possibility of working from home two days a week. I could manage the other three days with family help.
It is the kind of thing you could do a lot of from home, and it is in my field of expertise.
Someone else told me not to mention it unless they offer me the job, but I would feel duplicitous if they rejected someone else, and then I turned around and said "by the way.."

janelikesjam · 05/03/2012 18:50

I think that interviews should be more honest than they are (or ever have been) i.e. we are warm, we are interested in you (otherwise why would we interview you FCS) but we cannot control the outcome, and it may not be the right position for you. Most people can relate to that. I agree about the "cats arse" approach being offputting. I put it down to emotional cowardice myself.

janelikesjam · 05/03/2012 18:55

Listen to that feeling. Trust me, the interview is the best behaviour you'll ever see from a company. You're a stranger to them at that point, and they're trying to decide if they need you. Once hired, they will no longer have any reason to impress you. I've never, ever had a dubious interview experience turn into a fab job by Destroyed Luggage. Words of wisdom.

PoppyAmex · 05/03/2012 20:12

Spot on, Destroyed Luggage.

I've worked as a Headhunter in Banking for many years, have done thousands of interviews and I fail to see how someone can assess a candidate properly without engaging them at some level - how else would you get the all important personality fit?

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/03/2012 20:57

NowThen - it depends how you do it. I had one woman who said at the end of the interview "I see you offer flexible working. Well I can't work Wednesdays and would have to leave every day at 4.30 to get home for the children and I can't get in before 10 because I live so far away." It felt like she was dictating to us. We did give the job to someone who asked if we could accommodate her working from home one or two days a week, if possible, with flexibility as to days, and understanding that it might not always be a possibility.

I would never agree to letting someone work from home two days a week to look after pre-school children - I think that is just taking the piss and the chances of them getting any work done would be virtually nil.

PrincessWellington · 05/03/2012 21:03

Hello and welcome to your interview would you like a cup of coffee? Have you found everything you were hoping for today? Would you like to tell me about your weekend?
I interview, I'm very good at it

NowThenWreck · 06/03/2012 10:05

Thanks Mrs.
OK, If I think the interview has gone well, and they ask me about logistics (it is in another town, so they probably will ask)I will ask about working from home 2 days, as I dont think I could do the job if that wasn't a possibility, but will try and sound more positive!
I don't have a pre-schooler, but I am a single parent, so therefore responsible for the drop off/childminder pick up at both ends.
Even on my home working days I can be in the office some of the time, just not a full day.

FilterCoffee · 06/03/2012 11:03

YANBU. But it says a lot about the type of organisations you're applying to. Is this typical in your line of work - or can you find any friendlier organisations to work for? Keep looking until you find somewhere you're comfortable with :)

billrodger543 · 04/09/2013 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Icedink · 04/09/2013 16:49

Erm billrodger...wtf?!

ProfYaffle · 04/09/2013 16:56

Years ago there used to be a theory that you need to put people under pressure in interviews so they demonstrate their ability to cope with it. It was considered acceptable to ask discombobulating questions/give commands, eg "Sing a song!" not necessarily to hear a lovely tune but to see how the person reacted. In some circumstances telling the interviewer to get stuffed would have been seen as a good thing!

It's an 80's attitude, I'm surprised anyone still does it.

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