AIBU to not bend to a parent's wishes?

[Pollyskettle]

A parent of a child in my class has been classed as 'toxic' by school. She openly moans about the way the school is run (some of it is probably fair, tbh) and bitches to other parents in the playground.

She attacked came to talk to me about what she wanted for her DC. The 'catch-up' lasted for 1 and a half hours

I politely explained my situation, and said I wasn't going to abide by her wishes (she wanted her DC to receive higher marks than I'd given and be in ability groups I don't believe DC belongs in).

Following school policy, I wrote up notes about the meeting and gave them to the headteacher.

I was then asked/ advised by senior management to bump up DC's scores and move DC's groups in order to keep the mum happy.

I said no.

I was then told that "mum had the potential to make my life very difficult if she chose to, and that I should choose my battles."

I feel I have been professional with the treatment of her DC, and have treated DC exactly the same as the rest of the class.

AIBU to not do what she says, simply because she'll make my life difficult?

YANBU! You're always going to have nutty parents, but for the senior management to say that...

you're not being professional posting about it on the internet though, are you?

YADNBU! Tell her, as politely and professionally as you can, to fuck the fuck off. And likewise to your managers!

Of course you shouldn't.

is your head teacher really that weak???

If they start to make it a perfomance issue make sure you take advice from your union.

Wow. I'm amazed the school wishes to give in because she can be difficult and will undermine your decision. I think if you have evidenced your reasoning then management should support you.

I am not a teacher but do senior management know something that you do not about this parent? Would it help to go and talk to the head teacher prior to agreeing? Maybe you could get a bit more background. Surely in putting said DC into a higher group the child is more likely to have gaps in their education later as they have not been able to follow all that this group is doing? I am sure another teacher will be along in a minute with much wiser words.

wannaBe

I think I've made it anonymous enough...

Wannabe, 'tis an annonymous, non-professional forum and OP needed to vent and get opinions here. She isn't swearing about or identifying the people involved, so I don't get what is so unprofessional about it.

I am aghast at your senior management! Can you take this higher? How on earth can they be so unprofessional?!!!!

do you belong to a union?

YANBU she sounds mental

When the child gets worse results than expected from the SATS the parent is really going to kick off!

Why are some people so horrible?

Can you do that oh my just complain and child gets better marks ..she will not be there to hold her hand forever this is outrageous and please tell me you made this up

pmsl at anonymous. course it is.

Ultimately if this teacher has issues with her management there will be grievance procedures which should be followed. Bitching about parents of children in her class and her management on the same platform is not the way to go about it.

She's not being a good parent.

That is awful.

I know it went on in DDs old school though - to the point where the child got a prize for high achievement they were so scared of the Mother.

Is it an Independent school?

She just wants opinions wannabe

Nobody knows who or where this school is.

It's called venting, OP wants to have a moan. I don't blame her.

OP, YANBU.

YANBU at all. Agree with others to speak to your union if there is any fallout from your decision.

With a mum like that, I feel sorry for the child.

"classed as 'toxic' by the school"? wtaf? Someone in senior management has officially declared that this woman is and I quote "toxic" of course they have...

pombear why does that surprise you? I hear that in my staffroom occasionally from SMT and others.

No OP of course YANBU.

Craven headteacher.

'Senior management' indeed! What a joke description.

YANBU and I admire your stance.

I must have a sheltered life or something, I thought they might say "oh god it's her again" or "that woman" or "so and so's parent" but I just never thought anyone actually used the word toxic in real life. It's so "forum-speak" somehow - just ignore me, every day I find at least one word on here that means something completely different, or is used in a totally different way to how I've always thought it was used/what it meant/how it's used here. Live and learn

I'd contact your union if the school make things difficult for you. I wish I could say I'm surprised at your SMT's attitude, but I'm not.

OP - That is shocking. How dare they ask you to compromise yourself like that?

Don't want to derail you, but I also work in a school, where we have real trouble getting a particular boy to attend. He comes in on Tues / Thurs only and we have managed to work out that is when he has team practice and matches for a certain sport he loves. On the the days there is no sport, he doesn't come to school.

The SMT at my school have now decided to offer this boy extra coaching in his fave sport, every lunchtime, to encourage him to come to school every day.

When I asked if the other boys who play this sport, and can be bothered to come to school every day, will also benefit from these extra lessons, I was told "no". It's just for him.

EWO is taking action against parents, but nothing changes. The leadership team at my school have decided to reward his crap attitude and it makes me sick.