I am a woman on the edge right about now. DS is 14 months.
- FIL has cancer. My MIL died of the same cancer in July 2011. We nursed her at home because local hospice had no beds (for 5 days) until it was too late to move her. Very traumatic and horrific to watch (tho proud of doing it). FIL end stage now (were told at Christmas he had a few days so really glad we've had the extra time). He's in said local hospice, for symptom control. He's apparently got anywhere between a few days and who knows how long left, but is confused (brain secondaries), chest rattling (lung primary), breathless, banging headaches not controlled with codiene, extreme dizziness and can't walk without falling. It appears he may be discharged from the hospice this week as he's 'not got only a few days yet', with the plan to readmit when he deteriorates further (to what, unconsciousness???).
- AIBU no. 1 - to want FIL to stay in the hospice until the end, no matter how long it takes, so we don't have the trauma a mere 7 months on of caring for him until death at home?
- My nan has a recent diagnosis of dementia. MH services won't take responsilibty for her care because they say it's social care needs (food, prompting with meds, reminding not to go and walk in the local secluded woods alone, not to let strangers in who pitch up on front door for 'a drink' etc etc). Social Services won't take responsibility for her care becasue a. she can wash herself (this seems to be their only criteria...) and b. it's the MH team's problem.
- AIBU no. 2 - to want SOMEONE to HELP me and my mum, who has major physical disabilities, to support my Nan at home so she doesn't need a care home (at vastly greater cost) and what can I do with the service buck passing??
- My mum is about 6 stone overweight, smoker, and has a hernia op booked in 4 days (urgent referral).
- AIBU no. 3 - to be petrified she's going to die on the operating table?
And finally, thanks for sticking with me, AIBU no. 4 - to crack up right now? I work FT, as does DH, and we have a 14 month old DS who is amazing - we share childcare so one of us always has DS. Which makes all of this harder to cope with. No healthy family nearby (all around 200 miles away). DH is struggling to cope with the loss of his beloved mother (as am I) and the imminent loss of his beloved father. I feel like I'm trying to hold everyone together, and was hideously ill last week with antibiotics for an abscess that I am sure is stress related.
Apologies for the mammoth post and several spurious AIBU - I don't know what to do bar sit in a heap and cry at the moment. And then I will pick myself up and carry on....