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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what the hell i will do with DD in the summer holidays if i get a job.

60 replies

desperatenotstupid · 04/03/2012 11:54

I have a job interview this week, im desperate to get the job, but the money isnt brilliant (long career break so dont expect more really). Child care not an issue during term time, the job is 24.5 hours a week. But HOW do you all cope in the holidays? Inset days etc?

My mum is 75 and i really don't think she will be able to cope with DD for that amount of time, even though she will insist she can, but i can't let her because i know it will be too much, and from a selfish point of view this will be worse than having to pay someone iysim. I need reliable childcare if im to do this, but i would consider letting her do one day a week, but i think that would be all i could commit her to. My DP is self employed but can't really turn work down as the way things are we are not in position to turn down work when its offered. Also my salary wont cover expenses if he is to have time off to do childcare in holidays. If it was, that would be ideal, the poor sod is working himself to an early grave Sad

Would consider childminder but i would have issues with DD being taken in someone elses car Blush i dont even let her travel alone in car with DP if i can avoid it. I dont drive - yeah, its irrational i know.

OP posts:
BigGirlInASmallWorld · 04/03/2012 11:56

How old is DD?

motherinferior · 04/03/2012 11:57

Childminder, holiday clubs at school, swaps with other parents (given you'll be working part-time), etc. It's manageable.

Re car thing: you're going to need to tackle this anyway as she gets bigger and other parents take her to places/parties!

RitaMorgan · 04/03/2012 11:59

Find a holiday club. Or a childminder who doesn't drive.

LilacWaltz · 04/03/2012 12:02

Bear in mind everyone else will be using a cm too and they get booked up rapidly! Never any spaces with any around here at all

HoneyandHaycorns · 04/03/2012 12:03

Holiday clubs are quite good generally, and some are very affordable. I put my dd into clubs sometimes even when DH is at home or my parents could have dd - she absolutely loves them!

squishysquashy · 04/03/2012 12:05

If your DD is old enough to go to school why isn't she old enough to go on holiday play schemes or be looked after by a childminder? I understand people who don't believe in childcare for very young children but by school age they are out of your care 5 days a week?!

How much holiday do you get pro-rata, is it the equivalent of 20 or 30 days for example? You will be able to take quite a few days off for your holiday.

Depening on the type of job, once you started, perhaps you would be able to negotiate to do slightly more hours in the weeks your DD is at school and slightly less when she isn't.

Other options, paying a home help to come to your DM's house to help look after DD there?

Lexie1970 · 04/03/2012 12:06

Start looking at settings that offer school pick ups and then see if they offer holiday care. Expect not to make much money.

If your mum is not able to look after child investigate other set of gp to see if they could book a week. At interview state you already have booked 2 weeks off in August, husband will have to perhaps cover 3 days you were working.

Think you might have to get over being in car issue. Research car seats, get best you can and for god's sake fit it PROPERLY.

There will be holiday clubs running you just have to find them. I had job interview couple of weeks ago and another on Tuesday and these are all avenues I am exploring (yes, I did say about summer holiday being already booked off even though not going anywhere yet :) )

Good luck!

Divorcedand2teenDDs · 04/03/2012 12:08

Make friends NOW with your DD's friends' parents. You will find some of them work part time and would welcome childcare swops with you. Others will work full time and will appreciate any favours you do for them and may have weeks off booked for the summer when they can help you. Or at least you can pick their brains over childcare options, clubs etc and your DD would know another child to go with if you go down that route. Others may be SAHs and become a lifeline for you. But you need to show now that y

troisgarcons · 04/03/2012 12:08

Summer holidays is but one stretch of time - how are you going to cope with 12 weeks of holidays a year if you dont trust anyone with your child?

You really need to address that issue first and foremost.

Divorcedand2teenDDs · 04/03/2012 12:09

Sorry - that you are a real friend and willing to help and support them too.
Good luck with the job interview. If you want it enough you'll find a way to make it work.

LilacWaltz · 04/03/2012 12:10

The driving issue also needs to be addressed. Outings in cars and minibuses are to be expected

Original poster
desperatenotstupid · 04/03/2012 12:16

Holiday clubs are good yes, but not many around here and sooo expensive, at least if i am only doing three days a week it wont be too bad.

Trois, i do trust my mum, but she is 75 years old and would not be able to physically cope with DD full time.

Am thinking that there is a mum i would be happy to have DD on certain days in exchange for me having her DD, although she has a toddler too and i coudlnt cope with him, she has a childminder who actually i quite like, hmmmm, this could work!

OP posts:
Blu · 04/03/2012 12:16

Take your hol druing school hols, explore working flexitime and having more time off during holidays, if your DP takes ANY holiday time use it to cover holidays, look at a chidminder and schemes, there are loads of very good holiday schemes, swaps with friends as MI says.

But you do need to address the business of not wanting even your dp to driver her. Is this down to experience of an accident, or is your DP a bad driver?

boredandrestless · 04/03/2012 12:17

See what's available in your area to find out what realistically your options are. Some cms and out of school clubs don't transport in car, others do. (I do think this is an issue you will have to let go of though really as the older your dd gets the less control you will have over it.

Figure out how much childcare will cost you over the 6 week holiday, and then put a little away each week/month starting now to budget for it. That way it won't hit your bank balance so hard in the six weeks.

My cm offers year round care and I know some parents pay her this way - the cm adds up the annual cost of childcare and divides it over the year, so they pay an average fee each week/month meaning they can budget more easily. If or when the mindee leaves she tots up and calculates of she or the parent owes anything. So if you look at cms it's worth asking if they do this too.

Blu · 04/03/2012 12:19

You need to look on holiday clubs as a childcare cost spread over the whole year that allows both you and your DP to work. If you set the cost just against your earnings in those particular weeks it looks like bad value. But the need for holiday cover is a year-round consideration for every working parent. Those weeks enable you and your DP to have a permanent jobs.

This is how the rest of us manage!

mousymouseafraidofdogs · 04/03/2012 12:28

we do:
holiday club
dc staying with relatives for a couple of weeks
holiday

Original poster
desperatenotstupid · 04/03/2012 12:38

Blu i suffer from anxiety, my DP is an excellent driver (i sound like the rain man!! Grin), no crash etc, just the thought of DD being in a car witout me fills me with terror - as i say, totally irrational but i am getting better ith the whole anxiety thing.

I guess all of the answers here are what i expected to hear really, thanks everyoen x

OP posts:
al88 · 04/03/2012 12:50

Also look into whether your (hopefully!) new employer has a childcare voucher scheme. This has saved us a fortune, and also helps with budgeting as it comes out of my salary before I can spend it!

DavidaCottonmouth · 04/03/2012 12:51

If your job is only 24 hours a week, how about sharing childcare with another mum?

Don't be put off getting a job because you won't be making a profit during the holidays. Think of it as an investment in your career and be rest assured that it will get easier as DD gets older.

And loosen the apron strings. Childminders are usually very safe drivers - maybe even safer than you.

gramercy · 04/03/2012 12:56

The holiday thing has foxed me. Recently I went to an interview for a school hours job. Got said job. However, although the job was school hours it was not school holidays. I have a dh who works away a lot and returns late every day; I have no family. I had to turn the job down - there was no way I could see myself managing. Last week dd was off school for three days with an illness; ds has to go to the orthodontist quite a lot at the moment... it just goes on and on even when they are older.

undercoverPrincess · 04/03/2012 13:26

This also has me.... I have three DCs, 15months, 5years and 6years and currently work evenings, I would love to get away from this and work daytime hours but I just can't see a way around the childcare thing unless I can get termtime school hours which are very few and far between.
I could in theory pay for childcare for the tiny one but it would work out much too expensive for all three in the hols and my OH works long hours so can't be about to have them. Family and friends not an option with three of them!!!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/03/2012 13:35

I break up the long summer vac with 2 weeks paid holiday club, 2 weeks with grandparents and 2 weeks family holiday. Half-terms and Easter it's a combination of holiday club and my annual leave entitlement. It's do-able

gramercy · 04/03/2012 14:15

I'm sorry - but it's not do-able if you don't have willing relatives or a flexible spouse (!). In this case what one really needs is a nanny. I suppose one could take entirely separate holidays from one's spouse - but that is rather drastic. Most SAHMs (and a few SAHDs, come to that) I know are not ladies of leisure flitting between gym and nail parlour, but people who have no family support and a spouse working long hours. As I said upthread, throw a few illnesses and inset days into the year and it gets tougher still.

GladysLeap · 04/03/2012 14:28

I'd have thought it was easy enough to only cover 3 days a week. I work 5 days (30 hrs) and DD is in reception. Over the summer she's got 2 weeks with DH, 2 weeks with Grandma (I know you don't have that option, although my DD's grandma is 72 so not much younger than yours) and 2 weeks at Super Camps.

She goes to a local nursery for ASC one day a week and could go there for holiday club but there aren't many older children there so I though Super Camps would be better. The local sports centres all do holiday clubs as well. I found loads when I googled, and DD brought a leaflet home from school for one I hadn't come across.

I get childcare vouchers and have more a month than I actually need so I can save them up for holiday club.

Inset days you have to take Annual leave for, unless they fall on your non-working day.

I worked FT until DD started school, but school really isn't very easy to work around so I've had to reduce my hours (and my pay :( )

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/03/2012 14:29

" it's not do-able if you don't have willing relatives or a flexible spouse"

Rubbish. In my case the grandparents live 200 miles away so the fortnight in summer is their childcare contrib for the year. I don't have a spouse, flexible or otherwise. A lot of us need the income that comes from our jobs because we're the sole provider for the family. And then there is nothing to do but suck it up and pay for the childcare, holiday or otherwise.