To be bloody fuming at my husband or am I just being silly

[Thingiebob]

My DH is usually a level- headed lovely sensible person but is also a bit of a lazybones when it comes to pulling his weight. I have health problems (nasty backache) and have carted myself and 2 yr old to doc today on public transport and foot as well as the normal household chores that need to be done, laundry, dishwasher, sweeping etc and entertaining a bunch of small children (friends of dd) along with all the other stuff one does.

My husband finishes work and proceeds to lay into me about the nappy bin overflowing. Emptying it was on my mental to do list but I just hadn't got it yet.

He did it himself, all the way moaning about it being a health hazard etc.

I feel really bloody aggrieved. H is not my boss, nor am I his effing housekeeper.

I lost it and swore at him in front of my child. Something we both try really hard not to do. This has compounded the issue.

Am I being over sensitive or justifiably angry. How do I explain why I am upset without it becoming a massive row?

DH has also been working hard today as well.

Not OS but you are JA.

Point out to him all you did do. Men need a reminder of all the small but important jobs that the SAHP needs to do each day for things to function.

Of course Y not BU, what an arse. You've had a busy day and forgot to do one thing - tell him to give you a break and get a grip.

What's OS and JA?

OP, YANBU, I get similar from my DH, doesn't matter how much i do get done, you can guarantee the one thing he'll comment on will be the one thing I forgot to do!

thank god hes not married to me!
he'd have come home to more than a full nappy bin!
put your feet up with a glass of wine and ignore the twunt.

I think there's wrong on both sides here really. When you say DH laid into you, what do you mean? Because I'm assuming it must've been really bad for you to end up losing it and swearing at him in front of your DC.

You're right you're not his housekeeper but I probably wouldn't want to come home to a stinking nappy bin either tbh.

tidydancer-seriously?

shes ill,she simply forgot and shes not doing what i most would do and ignoring the housework for a day or two whilst she gets better, shes getting on with it.

she forgot one thing!its not the end of the world!

When dh does this occasionally I make a list of everything I've done and how long it took and present it to him. That usually shuts him up.

Over Sensitive.

Justifiably Angry.

I find saying " are you my Dad?" on occasions of such fuckwittage effective.

katiescarlett- thats what i do

Why do people have nappy bins? We just chuck them in the wheelie bin outside.
Dp is still sahd, comments like men need reminding get on my nerves!

Is a not still. Stoopid phone

Yes, seriously. I reserve judgement until we know what actually constitues being laid into. If DH just made a comment about the bin and the OP turned on him, that's a slightly different situation to if he screamed in her face and she lost it and swore at him.

I didn't say it was the end of the world, but if I walked through the front door to a stinky bin full of nappies, I'd hardly be ecstatic about it. I'd probably make a sarky comment to DP about it actually. For the OP though, it really all depends on what her DH actually said/did.

So really, I think the OP is NBU to be annoyed to be pulled up by her DH, but she is BU to have lost it and swore in front of her child. Again, how U depends on what actually happened prior to that.

When you have been in all day, you stop smelling it. When I get in from work and come home to the cat litter tray that has been fermenting all day, I do tend to 'raise it' with DH and ask him to do it. immediately before I vomit

suppose so tidydancer.

sorry i jumped down your throat

I'm sorry but even mentioning the nappy bin in this situation makes him an absolute plonker.

Tis okay cheese. :)

There's a possibility of both bu here tbh. It sounds like the nappy bin is one of his "things" - I've heard people say in RL and I'm sure they have in here too that they went berserk at their partners for leaving the lid off the shaving foam/not putting a cup in the sink or dishwasher etc.

The nappy bin to me is way above that.

If a female poster came on, said DP left his coffee cup at his arse again, I asked him to shift aping and he swore at me, what would you all say?

Like tidy said, it depends on what "laying in" consists of. Also some people just cannot stand one thing in particular, so if it's the nappy bin that gets on his goat, then fair enough. If he's always down on her housekeeping, different thing altogether.

Aping? Aping????

Shift IT.

Ooh lots of responses!

He didn't scream or go beserk, nor is he a physically violent person at all. He just had a go. Moaning and basically telling me off.

In fact, after I had put the little one to bed and he had read her bedtime story. We talked about it sensibly and both apologised to one another.

So that's the end of that I suppose!

And yes, it was totally unreasonable for me to swear. I'm in a lot of pain at the moment and on a lot of medication which can make me moody.
He is aware of this and we are managing it day by day.

I realise it has now become a non-issue but at the time of posting, I really wasn't sure if I was overreacting or if the medication was making me a miserable cow.

Personally I think the nappy bin is pretty ghastly but it's one of those that is supposed to seal up the pong and bacteria. Quite good if you have fortnightly refuse collections from a miniscule landfill bin.

Thank you for all your responses.

I would definitely prioritise emptying a nappy bin (if I even had such a thing) over sweeping the floor or doing the dishwasher and maybe your dh is the same?

I did read once that men find baby poo smell far more disturbing than women do btw. I would also remove a smelly nappy bin before other chores, but that "criticise the one thing not done" thing pisses me off too.

bibbity - well then he could have done it! His child too, his child's nappies..

I'm just saying that I would emptied the nappy bin earlier in the day, that's all, before doing the washing or the laundry. Perhaps he would have been less annoyed by an unswept floor than an unemptied nappy bin - I know I would.

By the way, if you flush the poo down the loo (where it belongs) your child's nappies, your nappy bin, your outside bin and the landfill where it ends up will all be much nicer places.