....to consider having two DCs really close together?

[somewherewest]

Part of me knows that thinking about no. 2 when no. 1 is only 3 months old is crazy, but we're sorely tempted to get the baby phase over and done with for ever. Also for complicated career-change reasons DH may be working part-time with flexible hours for a couple of years and we can afford for me to be a SAHM at the same time, so we will at least have extra time and flexibility. After that DH will be back in work full-time and it'll get harder. We're also in our early 30s and it took us over a year to TTC no.1, so it feels like the clock might be ticking.

So am I BU/ just plain crazy?

Oops sorry mumof1plustwins, we crossed posts! What's the gap between your first and your twins?

Oops sorry just seen you said 5 years. That's a nice gap! Sensible girl!

I know someone who did this, and TBH, her eldest seemed to struggle - she became quite angry for a while afterwards and would attack her sister and other children. But she may have been like that with any age gap I suppose.

11.5 months between mine! I was very lucky my DS walked at 9 months and slept through early on, so by the time DD came along it made things much easier (she on the other hand didn't walk til 16 months!).

I honestly thought it was a great way of doing it. He doted on her, would fetch her toys etc! All through growing up they were very close, and still are as teenagers (although they pretend otherwise to their friends!).

Also made birthday parties easy as we used to have joint ones and I'd just hire the village hall and get it all over with in 1 go.

Fruitsalad, my eldest is like that too. He's fine with peers but his behaviour regresses terribly around his brothers. I can't leave them within arms reach of each other even for a moment. It makes me v sad.

I had a really big gap of nearly 10 years between DS1 and DS2 and only 21 months between DS2 and DS3. I found pros and cons to both lengths of age gap when the children were babies and toddlers (not much help I know). However once the school years started it was lovely having my 2 youngest close together. Days out, holidays and school holidays are really good with a small age gap

For the reasons you have stated and in particular "it took us over a year to TTC no.1" i think you should get going with it.

Did someone further up say girl/girl siblings are the most harmonious? Are you kidding??? You want to ask my mother about that...

My dp had a 16 month age gap between his 1st dc and 2nd.His 2nd were twins.Just be prepared

DH and I wish we could but can't due to career advancement issues and his being unable to be home as much as we would need to handle another baby soon. DD is 5 months and I would also like to get it all done in one go.

I have looked at the positives of having a few years between them and for me the most appealing thought is that -even though it will be difficult going into the new baby phase after a couple of years of freedom- I can give the second baby as much individual attention during the early part of their life as my DD has had. Plus DD will get to understand and enjoy the experience of being a big sister from as soon as we get pregnant

I have a gap of 11 months between DD1 and DD2. DD1 walked the day DD2 was born which I could have done without... but DD2 was the most compliant baby and basically slept for the first three months of her life, and 17½ years later is still sleeping like the proverbial baby. The one great thing about them being so close in age is that DD2 literally came out of nappies at the exact same time as DD1 (in real time, not ages), so I had two out of them a fair bit before DS decided to put in his very early appearance.

When DDs 1&2 were 23m and 34m, DS came along. A. he was not planned. B. I was unaware that I was pregnant until around 22 weeks and C. He was born at 28 weeks. I have very little clear memories of the first year of his life tbh. It was one big blur of hospital and small annoying toddlers who appeared to see the devil in each other!

I then, sensibly, left a 13 year gap between DS and DD3.

But, all things said and done - if I had my time again I think I would do two close together, 5 year gap and then another 2 close together - close as in 18m or less between them.

Thanks everyone for posting. Lots of stuff I hadn't thought of, both pro and con.

Re parental attention, I grew up in Ireland back when four or five child families still weren't that unusual and part of me thinks that maybe divided attention wasn't such a bad thing. The children I knew from larger families tended to be quite self-reliant and better at sharing / amusing themselves / accepting that they weren't the centre of attention etc.

bag DH and I always felt the gap was too much! We procrastinated so much over having another in the end I said I was coming off the pill as it was now or never. Having twins has worked out perfect for me for lots of reasons but mostly because if I'd only had one DC after FB I most likely would not have had a third child even though I planned to!
I guess it's down to circumstance and the individual.
You are right about the time though, DD hasn't been able to have as much time with me as I'd like but she seems happy and adores her baby brothers!