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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Done to death, I know! Dinner Lady AIBU

159 replies

GingerWrath · 01/03/2012 10:33

Apologies in advance.

5 yo DD takes packed lunches to school everyday. I try to vary the contents so she doesn't get bored.

DD is a fairly normal height and weight, if anything she is a bit on the skinny side. Once a month or so I pack her half a small pizza, knowing that pizza sometimes features on the school dinner menu.

The other day her pack up consisted of:

Half a ham and cheese pizza cut into 3 slices
A small bag of slightly salted popcorn
Mixed berries (eaten at play time)
Cucumber sticks
Yoghurt
2 squares of chocolate

As soon as I picked her up at home time she was telling me she was hungry. Her pizza and popcorn were still in her lunch bag and I assumed that she was in a hurry to go out to play and rushed her lunch. No.

Later in the evening she informed me that the dinner lady told her that popcorn and pizza weren't allowed in packed lunches and she couldn't eat them. So basically DD had cucumber, yoghurt and 2 bits of chocolate for her lunch.

Here is the AIBU bit.

a. AIBU to be annoyed that DD was made to go hungry?
b. AIBU to think that popcorn isn't that bad for you?
c. AIBU to think that DD should have been allowed to eat her pack up and that I should be contacted if there is a problem with the contents?

OP posts:

imnotmymum · 01/03/2012 12:25

Am def having for dinner sod the low carb diet !!

Original poster

GingerWrath · 01/03/2012 12:25

Hands up who is craving a pizza for tea now!?

OP posts:

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful · 01/03/2012 12:25

Pizza can be healthy, but it can also be unhealthy. I think we'd all agree that pizza every day would not be a good thing. For me, Aribura got right to the heart of the matter but has been completely overlooked. So I shall repeat it!

Aribura Thu 01-Mar-12 11:17:34
I think the perceived discrepency with the school dinners having pizza "at least once a week, chocolate cake every other week" etc as stated on this thread is that they can keep track of what they are giving and vary it up and not just the same unhealthy thing all the time. Whereas it's hard to keep track of however many kids to make sure that pizza is once a week, or once every 2 days, or every day for every meal

School caterers have strict guidelines to adhere to and the amount of planning that goes into menus is not to be underestimated. The lunch box policy is simply there to protect the lowest common denominator - the poor kid whose parents think it's ok to send in cans of coke and takeaway every day (as evidenced by FolkGirl, they do exist).

eurochick · 01/03/2012 12:32

When did schools move out of teaching and into parenting (i.e. determining the diets of the schoolchildren)?

Haziedoll · 01/03/2012 12:33

I'm not sure that I would agree that pizza shouldn't be given every day.

My children have pizza about 3/4 times a week. When I get round to buying a bread-maker I will make the base but at the moment I buy the premade bases, they have a variety of toppings, sometimes tuna, egg & spinach, roasted vegetables and sometimes bolognese. I really can't see why pizza is seen as being bad.

imnotmymum · 01/03/2012 12:36

Agree Haziedoll having a sandwich in pack up every day ok but not pizza essentially the same has the world gone mad !!??

Beamur · 01/03/2012 12:37

GingerWraith - I really want some pizza now!

Cherriesarelovely · 01/03/2012 12:41

No you are definitely not BU. I totally object to the idea of dinner ladies or teachers refusing any child part of their lunch. Partly because they go hungry and partly because it is not the child who packs the lunch anyway and this kind of behaviour can make children feel really embarrassed and upset. If the school must have this ridiculously rigid system in place they ought to have written a polite note to you.

I say this as a mum and a teacher who is fanatical about promoting healthy living ideas to kids and families. FGS "healthy food" is not only fruit and veg! It is about a BALANCE which is exactly what you have described.

Haziedoll · 01/03/2012 12:45

I remember once bumping into my mil in a shopping centre as dh and I were just about to nip off to Pizza Express. We met up with her later and she was going on about how they were really "good" because they had been to a cafe and had ham baguettes. The fat content and calories in their baguettes were probably the same as our pizzas and with less veg but they thought they had gone for the healthier option.

Lots of ds's friends have never had a McDonalds because they are not allowed but they are allowed to eat the processed shite that Costa call sandwiches.

fuzzpig · 01/03/2012 12:52

Will read thread later but I think I feel ok about 'rules' for lunchboxes provided the school dinners adhere to the same rules.

dandelionss · 01/03/2012 12:52

and what's wrong with popcorn? It's the same stuff as sweetcorn!

TreacleSoda · 01/03/2012 12:53

Hazie your MIL sounds very like mine, actually. Every time I see her its 'we're trying to be good, no more sweet stuff for us etc etc' its an obsession. My SIL has inherited this, but frankly I think their notions are a bit bonkers. e.g. SIL refuses to have salt in her house because 'its bad for you' yet thinks nothing of buying and cooking with those pre-made packets of dried sauces, which have huge amounts of salt in them. Ditto handing me one of those rotten '95% fat free' biscuits and saying how healthy it is whilst ignoring that it might not have much fat but its loaded with sugar. There is probably less fat and sugar in dark chocolate, but its a no no because its chocolate.

In my house I reckon we eat pretty well, we try to be healthy, but we eat cakes, we eat biscuits and we eat takeaways sometimes. But its all about balance. We don't eat them every day. And I never refer to cake as a 'treat', because I don't like the DC getting the idea that they have to endure the 'healthy' stuff to be able to eat the 'nice' stuff. I want them to enjoy the veg etc because they taste nice, and then enjoy the cake because it tastes nice too. Its working so far, but time will tell.....

TreacleSoda · 01/03/2012 12:55

dandelionss maybe its to do with the time of day you eat sweetcorn at, as opposed to popcorn

Original poster

GingerWrath · 01/03/2012 13:00

I agree it's all about balance, I allow my DD to eat 'snacky' things because she loves fruit and veg. She is the only child I know who lists Brussels sprouts as a favourite food.

Pizza, or in fact, a happy meal, every now again will not harm her!

OP posts:

M0naLisa · 01/03/2012 13:01

YANBU

Its pisses me off DS cant take pizza in his lunch box but they offer it on the school menu!?

Also he cant have a Chocolate muffin/bun as its not healthy but yet on wednesdays the school menu offers a chocolate muffin as dessert!!

DS has now gone back on lunches - mainly because of DH not working.

Cherriesarelovely · 01/03/2012 13:05

MonaLisa that is TOTALLY unfair! How can the school not see the contradiction?!

ConferencePear · 01/03/2012 13:13

What your child eats is not school's business. Why do so many people let them interfere ?

PooPooInMyToes · 01/03/2012 13:19

Hazie You really don't need a bread maker to make pizza dough. We do it by hand.

Bicnod · 01/03/2012 13:20

I'm on the fence but mainly think YANBU

IMHO teaching children moderation is really important - if specific foods are banned they will probably crave them and when they get old enough to be sneaky are likely to gorge themselves.

On the other hand, when I think about the lunchboxes my parents used to send me in with it makes me think Jamie Oliver has a point. We used to have, every day, jam sandwiches on white bread, packet of crisps, chocolate bar of some description, carton of ribena or capri-sun, sugary yoghurt/puddingy thing. Then something with chips or a microwave meal for tea most evenings.

There are probably a lot of children who benefit from the lunchbox police as it is a (slightly patronising) way of educating people about healthy eating. It is always going to annoy parents who are well informed about nutrition and just want to give their children the odd treat, but I think on balance it's probably worth annoying parents who do give their children healthy food to ensure parents who don't do IYSWIM

Tired and can't form coherent sentences but hopefully you get the gist.

WorraLiberty · 01/03/2012 13:27

Its pisses me off DS cant take pizza in his lunch box but they offer it on the school menu!?

It's because they can't police how often every individual child takes pizza in their lunch box.

Pizza is normally on the menu once a week, not every day

Yet a child could take pizza every day and not be spotted.

grubbalo · 01/03/2012 13:39

Firstly OP - YANBU

Secondly - Hidden - sounds to me like you need to do a bit better research into young childrens' diets. They do not need loads of whole grain as their stomachs can't cope with it or digest it. White bread is actually better for them as it can be digested and the energy / fortified elements absorbed. So perhaps before you castigate the rest of us, you could go and do some reading beforehand.

MackerelOfFact · 01/03/2012 14:18

AngelDelight/Aribura - but surely that assumes the children always have either school dinners or packed lunches and never chop and change between the two. The child who only has school dinners on the days when there are chips or cake on the menu isn't getting the benefit of the school dinner menu as a whole - so why offer these items at all?

I guess it's because the catering is usually contracted to an external supplier, and they want some way of ensuring that children would actually prefer to have school dinners.

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful · 01/03/2012 15:44

I guess it's because the catering is usually contracted to an external supplier, and they want some way of ensuring that children would actually prefer to have school dinners.

Partly Mackerel. Levels of take up pre and post Jamie Oliver would suggest that the majority of children prefer the rubbish stuff. Remember the hysterical scenes on the news when the nutritional rules first started biting and there were mothers pushing packets of fish and chips through the school fences?

It's also about cost too. The rubbish stuff is cheaper to make.

Fwiw, I don't think you can legislate for children who chop and change between the two. The administration in tracking that would be a nightmare.

tanfastic · 01/03/2012 15:48

Fucking hell I can't wait till my kid starts school in September

DaenerysTargaryenButCallMeDany · 01/03/2012 16:00

our school allow anything afaik (thank god)

my friend told me the other week that someone at her dc school had sent in chicken nuggets and chips! it must have been horrible for the poor dc, all cold and hard :(

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