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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Done to death, I know! Dinner Lady AIBU

159 replies

GingerWrath · 01/03/2012 10:33

Apologies in advance.

5 yo DD takes packed lunches to school everyday. I try to vary the contents so she doesn't get bored.

DD is a fairly normal height and weight, if anything she is a bit on the skinny side. Once a month or so I pack her half a small pizza, knowing that pizza sometimes features on the school dinner menu.

The other day her pack up consisted of:

Half a ham and cheese pizza cut into 3 slices
A small bag of slightly salted popcorn
Mixed berries (eaten at play time)
Cucumber sticks
Yoghurt
2 squares of chocolate

As soon as I picked her up at home time she was telling me she was hungry. Her pizza and popcorn were still in her lunch bag and I assumed that she was in a hurry to go out to play and rushed her lunch. No.

Later in the evening she informed me that the dinner lady told her that popcorn and pizza weren't allowed in packed lunches and she couldn't eat them. So basically DD had cucumber, yoghurt and 2 bits of chocolate for her lunch.

Here is the AIBU bit.

a. AIBU to be annoyed that DD was made to go hungry?
b. AIBU to think that popcorn isn't that bad for you?
c. AIBU to think that DD should have been allowed to eat her pack up and that I should be contacted if there is a problem with the contents?

OP posts:
Original poster
GingerWrath · 01/03/2012 11:21

She doesn't get it at home as a treat because she has a healthy evening meal, at the table, with me and her DF, she has pizza in her lunch box, in school ONCE A MONTH as a treat that she looks forward to! Jeez!

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:22

Children shouldn't have pizza at school for their hot dinners either. ds2 has this reguarly and it makes me cringe.

imnotmymum · 01/03/2012 11:22

A treat for us is a batch of cream cakes .. if I told my kids pizza a treat they would think I was mad

hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:23

Once a month for a treat is okay, but why would you give it as part of a packed lunch when you know they have a healthy eating policy? Just give it at home for a treat, then give a healthy packed lunch. You'll avoid conflict that way. Or perhaps put her on to school lunches and let them police it.

moogalicious · 01/03/2012 11:23

ginger you don't need to justify yourself. Pizza is fine. Ignore hidden

Original poster
GingerWrath · 01/03/2012 11:24

I didn't know pizza was banned until they stopped DD from eating it!

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:26

You all need a Greggs Pasty! Grin

moogalicious · 01/03/2012 11:27

I might send dd in with one. That'll get the dinner ladies Grin

imnotmymum · 01/03/2012 11:27

HH not being picky but you say your child has it at school and it makes you cringe if you believed so wholeheartedly that it was bad then surely you would provide one of your amazing low fat salt wholegrain [boring] paced lunches everyday

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 01/03/2012 11:28

My DS is a fussy kid - I feel quite victorious if he eats pizza!! It's just ridiculous - no wonder there are so many people with eating dis-orders, that dinner lady had no business telling your DD what she can and cant have in her lunch box. I firmly believe as parents we should have the right of choice for our kids and as long as we arent sending them in with bloody crack cocaine.......it's a bloody joke!

As I said, with my DS he is quite fussy and we are trying to get him to widen the variety of what he will eat. If the dinner lady said that to him he would never eat it again...and popcorn FFS - thats not unhealthy at all - far better than chocolate.

Seriously, stop the world, I wanna get off! It's gone mad!

Sarcalogos · 01/03/2012 11:30

Hidden has missed the point of this spectacularly, the OP is not asking what constitutes a healthy packed lunch (opinions on this differ unsurprisingly) she is asking if she is BU about being cross with the school for making her child go hungry. If she had contravened the policy, the school should have spoken to the adult, not made a child go hungry. Of course YANBU!

hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:30

I have been on the verge of giving him packed lunches, but he is adamant that he wants to stay on lunches and they're mostly okay, so I've just stuck with it. I just have to accept, to a certain extent, that this is how lunches are these days. They're supposedly nutritionally balanced by the people who provide them Hmm

PooPooInMyToes · 01/03/2012 11:30

HH You cringe if your child is given pizza?

I really think that you have food issues which you will pass on to have your children . . . dangerous!

Not only that but you are ill informed about a healthy balanced diet and what it means.

A terrible combination.

Giving your children food issues is as bad as giving them an unhealthy diet.

hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:33

yes, I'm perfectly aware of the point that OP is making Sarcalogs Hmm and I agree that the school are being unreasonable if the OP wasn't aware of the eating policy. I was just suggesting healthier alternatives that would avoid the child having her meal taken from her.

PooPooInMyToes · 01/03/2012 11:33

HH you still haven't answered my question about whether you make your own butter, cheese and bread? Im fact all the other foods you eat?

What sort of dinners and things do you eat a home?

hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:34

No, I don't have food issues Hmm We have pizza at home occasionally. I just think it's unsuitable for a packed lunch, along with popcorn and chocolate. These are foods which you'd have on a cinema trip, not for school lunch.

schobe · 01/03/2012 11:35

Barking and I would be livid that they had made her go hungry. YANBU.

hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:35

We eat homemade dinners, but I don't make butter or bread. I buy wholegrain stuff and try to avoid too much salt and saturates.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 01/03/2012 11:35

Hidden your DS probably insists on school dinners because he is so restricted at home - or it sounds like he is.

I am a believer in anything in moderation.......I think when you start banning stuff it just makes people go the other way and crave them even more. My SIL was really strict when her kids were young, allowed them one chocolate button per day Shock...bonkers!

imnotmymum · 01/03/2012 11:37

and you say putting pizza is sloppy hh mine have school dinners when I can't be bothered to pack up! do microwave meals count as home made well I do heat them up at home!!

AWimbaWay · 01/03/2012 11:37

What's the difference between you having "pizza at home occasionally" and a child having it at lunchtime occasionally? Is it only unhealthy at certain times of the day Confused.

hiddenhome · 01/03/2012 11:38

No, he's not restricted at home Hmm You're supposing an awful lot here. He usually comes home from school saying he hasn't eaten what they've given him because he doesn't like it. He's fussier than ds1 who eats pretty much everything.

TroublesomeEx · 01/03/2012 11:38

AWimbaWay Not time of day no, just the location or the person presiding over the eating of said pizza Wink

SilentBoob · 01/03/2012 11:39

How arbitrary.

Original poster
GingerWrath · 01/03/2012 11:39

My thinking is that generally she has a good diet, she has healthy dinners and the odd square of chocolate, popcorn, or crisps, is a treat for her to look forward to, and in allowing her these treats in moderation, she won't crave them when she is older and I can no longer control her diet.

OP posts:
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