too be mad at my friend for not coming?

[BornToShopForcedToWork]

Hi,
I invited my friend and her son for a weekend to London. She is on benefits and can't afford a trip from Germany to London so I paid everything for her. Flights for her and her son, extra luggage for the travel cot, the hotel and different sightseeing. She told me how much she is looking forward to the weekend etc. today I saw that she deleted me on Facebook and she doesn't answer the phone when I call her. Her mother didn't even know she wanted to come. I am very angry now as I have spent nearly 400£ and I can not get a refund. I am so mad and don't know what to do. AIBU or is she?

Do you really need to ask? Sounds very odd, have you known her long?

Did she want to come, or did you "railroad" her into coming?
Maybe she did not feel up for travelling with a baby, and stay in a hotel?
Why could she not stay with you?
Why did you pay for sightseeing, would she not be with YOU?

Unless I am getting this wrong, it does not seem like much fun to take baby, travel cot, pushchair, etc, on my own, on an international flight, find my way to a hotel somewhere in London, and then what? Go sightseeing?

Why did she need to bring a travel cot? Surely the hotel will have a travel cot?

Sounds like there might be more to it on her end?

She can not stay with me as I don't have enough space for her and her son. The hotel is just down the road, a ten minutes walk from my house. She wanted to come but said she couldn't afford to come. Her son is hardly a baby, he is nearly 2. I bought sightseeing tickets on the Internet as its cheaper than buying them on the day. She told me her father would bring her to and pick her up from the airport. I would have done the same here. Gatwick
ist just 15 minutes from my place.

Do you know her outside of the internet?

Oh I know her for since first grade. She spent every free minutes at our house as her parents weren't at home at lot and when they were, they were drinking.

I would assume there are problems her end then. Dont be mad at her!

How could she be so rude?

It si frankly astonishing.

So sorry, I meant how could YOU be so rude.

I would assume she was having some sort of problems.

I would expect her to let me know and. It delete me on Facebook. She can tell if something is the better but having just spoken to her mother who didn't know anything about it I don't believe she ever planned to come.

To be honest it doesn't sound like much of a relationship! Perhaps she was just embarrassed to tell you that she couldn't manage it? A trip like that on her own, with a baby still needing a travel cot, sounds way too ambitious to be honest.

She travels very often to Berlin on her own on the train. That's nearly a 10 hour trip. With buggy, travel cot and luggage for at least a week. So it can't be that.

well she would see me the whole time? Apart from the nighttime?

I find this all a bit odd - well done for being such a wonderfully generous human being (I am sure the hotel would have a cot she could use) and all that but she obviously isn;t that keen - let it go :)

Has she got the tickets?
Can't they be refunded?

That's weird. Have you asked her what's going on?

I'll come

Hi, I booked the flights with Easyjet. So no refund. I am really angry now.

This is really odd. I can't imagine this ever happening with one of my friends without an explanation.

I'd be really worried about a friend if we had known each other from childhood and they suddenly deleted me from Facebook and didn't take calls. Especially just before a visit we had planned. I wouldn't even be pissed off really but concerned something awful had happened.

I think you just have to keep contacting your friend and trying to understand what has happened.

Is she in a relationship?

I only ask because a similar thing happened to me (in the days before facebook). A friend cancelled holiday at the last minute, well actually just went AWOL and I didn't hear from her. No explanation, nothing. I was furious and didn't speak to her again.

About 2 years later she told me that her partner at the time was abusive and basically told her that if she went, he would leave her.

Well taking what you say on face value, obviously YANBU to be angry. I would be bloody fuming.

It is weird.

Why don't you email her and say that you were very hurt that she had not come and that she didnt tell you she was not coming. She if you get a reply - there may well be a genuine explanation. If not, chalk it up to experience. She is obviously not a good friend.