that putting clingfilm round a cot is the stupidest idea ever

[FarAwayisBetter]

My DP has tightly wound clingfilm through the bars of DS (4 months) cot, to stop him sticking out his arms and legs and getting them stuck. He'd previously had a bed sheet doing the job but it kept slipping down.
DS sleeps in the same room with just me and now I daren't leave him to sleep in his cot unless I am actually in the room watching and listening to make sure he's ok. He sleeps with me as soon as I go to bed. I am up at 4am, as DS wriggles too much and I disturb him equally as much with my own movements.
I told DP I wasn't comfortable with the clingfilm and he answered how DS was also his child and he wouldn't have put it there if it wasn't safe. (He is very precious over DS so this argument has weight).

But ffs it is a really stupid idea isn't it? (I've heard of Air Wrap cot bumper things btw - tried to tell him about them, wouldn't listen).

Okay I think your DH needs to read a lot about SID. Cot bumpers are not recommended because they reduce air flow, and the biggest risk is over heating. If your childs arms or legs are going to get "stuck" through the bars, they would have to be extremely fat (or you are not using a UK approved cot), so much so that I would assume you are under the hospital for whatever clinical condition the child has. The bars are designed to be safe for arms and legs, but too close for heads to go through.

I would also suggest you consider how you needed MN to get you to rip this off the cot, and what that says about your lack of confidence in your own decisions. Plus you consider what other mad worries your DH has. Do either of you need to be counselled for these issues?

That is quite possibly the dumbest thing I have ever heard?

It isn't normal to be that stupid.

Fucking hell.

FGS show him this thread and make the point that something stupidly dangerous doesn't become safe simply because it was thought of by someone who loves the child!! What a stupid attitude, and a dangerous one - basically, 'it can't be dangerous because I'm always right and I say it's not, oh and I'm also too pompously sure if myself to allow anyone else an opinion.'

Print this thread!

Your DS could really easily have suffocated. Makes me shiver.

You actually let him do it in the first place?!

The sheet was a bad idea, but the cling film? There are no words.

I honestly cannot believe someone could be that STUPID!!!! Who in their right mind would think this was a safe thing to do?????

Although my sister knows a family who ended up only having supervised contact with their child for 2 years because the child got his arm stuck in the bars of his cot and broke it when he was 7mo. The couple were neglegent apparantly.

thought this thread was not actually what I thought it was cling film round a cot???? but it is glad you took it off now but OMG you could not make it up that is bizarre and dangerous

*negligent, even.

Gritters, no 7 month old can possibly break an arm by bring stuck in a cot.

Legs might be stuck, but not arms. Someone would have to apply quite a lot of strength. I suspect the most it could be proven was neglect. I'd suspect a lot more...

OP You're getting lots of grief now, I just wanted to say something to make you feel a little less bad about it all.

Parenting a new/small baby makes lots of people do lots of crazy things - it's just that this idea happened to be particularly dangerous!

My DH never suggested anything that daft but there were things he wanted to do that I was a bit "why on earth would you think that was a good idea!"

It's difficult to find the balance between being the sensible mum who spends most of the time with the baby and has lots of time to think about possible outcomes and project into the future, and the mum who is prepared to stand back and let the dad make parenting decisions so that he knows he is valued, even when you know they are daft.

There are always posts on MN where mum has doubted something dad has done and gets told to back off and let him be a parent too. In this instance, you were right.

Prepare yourselves for many flashbacks over the years to the crazy time DH thought wrapping the cot in clingfilm was a good idea and don't feel too bad. No harm done this time, just follow your gut instinct (and common sense!) next time. The horror of it will sink in for him too, when he's a bit more experienced at being a dad.

Ridiculous idea. Remove it asap.

Please advise him also against erecting an electric fence/gate when baby is old enough to play in garden ......postmen suffer.

I guess if the baby got the arm stuck in the cot while they were climbing out of it and the force of the fall...? Yes I think there must be more to that 7 month old case than baby getting arm stuck in cot = child taken away for negligence.

In fairness the OP did know the idea was stupid however at 4mo I'm sure she is sleep deprived and couldn't see the woods for the trees so to speak.

Glad you've taken it off OP. Hopefully it'll just go down in family legend instead of making the news. Enjoy your baby and learn to stand up to your partner a bit more.

That was a lovely post folkgirl

OP, if you and/or your DP are worried about DS getting his arms or legs stuck through the cot bars, you can buy breathable bumpers which are supposedly safer than the solid ones. We used one when DD was small.

Sorry, just realised that jaggythistle mentioned them waaay upthread also.

Glad you've taken it off and your DS is ok. I'd definitely show him this thread just to illustrate that he has been overconfident and misinformed, which is a dangerous combination.

It's natural to doubt yourself and have to ask what seem like silly questions though - I've just had dc2 and seem to have miraculously forgotten everything about caring for babies...

Hmm re the baby breaking its arm through cot bars - having had 3 who all stuck various limbs through cot bars I'd be very sceptical about this as a mechanism of injury.It may have been accepted as a "reason" because no one could actually be deemed culpable of the injury and it got the child into child protection processes.

Anyway back to OP. Clearly it's a stupid idea!

The growbag suggestion is fair. Cheap travel cot would be perfect and safe, ultimately they stop doing it, it's a "thiss too shall pass" thing

I'm glad you've taken the cling film off already.

If your DH really has convinced himself that this is a good idea and wants to put the cling film back, could you convince him to go to baby clinic and speak to the health visitor about it first? I'm sure they would be able to convince him otherwise.

OMG!

But I am so sorry for you, that you have to parent together with such an imbecile. Please make sure you question his judgement in absolutely everything from now on, and dont for a minute doubt yourself. Ok?

(Folksgirl - that's something like the fourth post I've seen from you in the past day or so that has struck me by its warmth and wisdom - you're on a roll! )

Where does your DP sleep then op??