This isn't a marriage v partners thread or a Bridezilla thread or anything. I can't talk to anyone IRL about this except DP, obviously, so just testing opinions....
I have never been bothered about marriage: always said that if I were with someone who was keen, I'd give it a whirl, but otherwise, not fussed. DP was never bothered about the idea per se and also comes from a very religious background but has lost his faith, so I think he feels a bit 'meh' about it.
But when I think about marriage as just a special bond between us, that feels a lot nicer....
Which is where this is going - because I feel like I'd quite like marriage but cannot bloody stand weddings. This is the main reason. Hate 'venues', ersatz flowers, meringues, pageboys yada yada, the way everyone suddenly starts doing bizarre stuff 'because it's tradition' (yes, I am a total killjoy).
There is also other backstory here: my rather difficult dad cancelled on my sister's wedding with less than 2 wks to go because 'he was busy at work' 
. She had previously moved the date to accommodate him. They, er, don't talk now....
If we have a wedding and DF doesn't come, that's a pretty hard statement to ignore. If we have and he does, that's a pretty hard statement for DSis to ignore. Not nice either way.
But the cons - people feeling hurt. DMIL would I am sure love for her PFB to have a wedding. They are really lovely but quite traditional and I'm sure would prefer that. My own DM would probably be a bit 
/ 
too.
AIBU to go ahead anyway? I would just so much prefer it - or AIB a selfish withc?