To rehome this cat! Am fuming!

[FullyImmersed]

That's it, I've had it with this cat!
She doesn't fit in, my old cat doesn't like her (keeps going for her)
She hardly comes out, hides either under my bed or in the kitchen
She shit on my bed when I went away for the night, depsite the fact I have TWO litter trays out with 2 different types of litter
Has bitten me and has swiped DS
Seems to be making DS's eye sore, it keeps swelling up and this has only been happening since we've had her
and the icing on the cake is I've just woken up to a smash and she's broken the butter dish my nan got me, which I really liked to find she has also PISSED ON MY FECKING BED, WITH ME SLEEPING IN IT!!!
Fucking fuming with her right now. I feel like kicking her out the house right now, and don't even care if she comes back or not.

We've had her a month and I swore I'd perservere with her to make sure her and my other cat got on, but really I feel angry and insulted by her actions, I just CBA with her any more.

Re-home the cat, do something for the good of the cat instead of being mortally offended that a scared animal is behaving the way a scared animal would.

And for the good of any future prospective pets, steer clear of shelters, leave the pets alone until you can gain some maturity and perspective, and most of all, realise that other living creatures are not there for your benefit, they are not disposable or motivated by the same things you are.

Disgusting way to behave, as far as I an concerned anyone who treats a vulnerable animal like this should be prevented from keeping any.

OH FGS people, calm down. OP hasn't actually said she 'treated' the cat badly. She's cross, understandably, because she's frustrated at cleaning up animal excrement and she's expressed that in a post on mnet not given the cat a good kicking! It's quite clear she needs to rehome but put the pitchforks away, it's not helpful.

OP yes you should probably rehome the cat.
I think others are being rather harsh in their assessments of the OP, she was in a very pissed off state on writing this at the end of her tether, to say she shouldn't have animals is ridiculous. I have two cats that I love dearly and have had for 10 years, doesn't stop me being upset when one of them weed on my bed a few weeks ago.

If you are unable to differentiate animal behaviour from human then you need some time to sort your head out.

Firstly, what's the point of ranting on about a cat pissing on you're bed? Is the car going to have lightbulb moment and in fear of losing the roof over its head suddenly have a change in behaviour?

How about trying to alleviate whatever is upsetting the cat instead of thinking its got a vendetta against you?

"End of tether" ..... after a month, when, according to the OP, there has been one incident of shitting, one incident of peeing, a broken bit of crockery (accident), one bite and one swipe.

TBH ..... if that's the full story, then if that's all the cat's done in the first month since moving into a new home, which also has another cat in it who keeps going for her, then the OP's got off lightly. Those sorts of things are to be expected and whilst obviously unpleasant, are within the realms of normal when introducing and settling a new cat in. You're also being very unrealistic if you expect cats never to swipe if there are kids about scaring/teasing it.

It's clear however, as others have said, that the OP doesn't have the patience to seek out solutions for this .... for example, by coming onto MN and asking for advice along the lines of "new cat problems" and/or checking there are no underlying medical problems with the vet. Instead, her immediate reaction is fury and a ridiculous assertion that this frightened animal is being deliberately bad. Thankfully her first cat must be a model creature, but every animal is an individual and it's plainly ridiculous to expect them to all be instantly trouble free.

Having said all that, I'm not advocating for a minute that the OP perseveres .... some people simply aren't cut out to be pet owners, though regretably many of those who fall into that category are. They're fine while everything's running smoothly but regard the animal as something disposable when they become hard work, e.g. through illness, accident or some sort of upset. Just hope she does the right thing but I don't think people are being too harsh. I wonder what she expected when introducing a new pet into a home where there was already a resident ? It can be done (I've done it many times in a so called multi cat household), but you also need to be realistic about the space available, easy access to hiding places, free access to ample outside space, multi food stations and litter trays etc as well as taking very careful note of the personalities concerned. If in any doubt don't, and even if you're hopeful it'll work, be prepared to rehome responsibly if it doesn't.

Blimey. If my cat pissed on my bed, is be pretty fuming too.

So, while I can understand others feeling sorry for the cat, it is obviously unhappy and scared, I would be very upset and pissed off at a pissy bed.

It sounds like others wouldn't mind at all, they would just think about the poor cat!

I do have a cat and have put up with my fair share of puke etc. I think you're allowed to be annoyed.

I would rehouse it though, its clearly not working.

if it helps,we had a cat from a rescue which was very timid for a couple of years, and ruined a sofa by continual peeing on it. However, she went to live in the utility room, where she was warm, and, as it's the way that people come into the house, got lots of attention, but wasn't allowed in the house. After a couple of years of that, she's a completely different cat, very affectionate, and can come back into the house (and doesn't pee on things).

Catsmother, do you never get a bit pissed off with puke and Piss in random places?

I too would get rid, one cat or dog is enough for most people. I have two and hate the buggers but nobody else would have them.

Melody, the OP is NBU to be annoyed with cat wee etc. However I think people are picking up on her tone. She's "insulted" by the cat's actions instead of seeming to try & understand cat behaviour & distress. Did she even research introducing another adult cat to a home, I wonder?

I would go mad of a cat pissed on my bed, that's why I don't have a cat, or any animal for that matter.

It's about knowing your levels. I have issues with anything that can't be reasoned with ( I love my toddler ) so there would be no point in me having an animal.

It's obviously the same for the OP, it's just a shame she didn't recognise this before she took on an animal.

Of course I get "pissed off" with pee and puke in random places (though OP didn't mention puke !) But one peeing incident after one month with a new cat ? ... I'd have a bit of a whinge and wash the bloody bedding, I wouldn't even think to sound off about it on an internet forum, nor would I start to imagine the cat had it in for me personally. I wouldn't even think to seek advice at that stage because these things happen with animals every so often .... they get ill, or they get spooked, or, in the case of a new animal, they feel insecure and unhappy. Only if it was a recurrent problem would I look for solutions.

Going back to puke however ... if you're a cat owner this is another potential aspect of cat behaviour you need to take on board and not get too het up about. Many cats eat grass for example - and then regurgitate it. They also eat birds, rodents etc and regurgitate that too. Never mind the fact that occasionally, just like people they can sometimes actually be ill and throw up but don't have the intelligence to do it down the toilet. If you get mortally offended at such behaviour then don't get a cat !

I also get "pissed off" at regularly standing in dead animals my cats bring home but again, this is what you have to accept if you're a cat owner. I was chasing a mouse round at 4.30 this morning and was pissed off at being woken and having to deal with that, but I wasn't angry at the cat as it hadn't done anything "wrong".

I just don't get people being angry at animals specifically, as opposed to being annoyed on a more general level when you find yourself having to do a bit of extra work. No-one is forced to become a pet owner after all, but if you decide to become one you accept it means responsibility and work. It's simple, you don't want the potential downside of pets - don't get them.

tbh I wrote this at 5am after waking up in a piss covered bed and was feeling very narked, I don't really want to rehome her unless completely necessary as she's already had several homes and I've been told it can take a few months for her to settle in. I was just venting.

I'm just don't know what else I can do to help her settle, she doesn't seem to like it here, but worry it would be the same even if she went somewhere else. She has her own food bowl and litter tray near where she likes to hide, i try not to cause jealousy issues by fussing one more than the other, which usually means me sitting next to the bed stroking her whilst trying to coax her out with treats.

I don't want her to be unhappy, but I don't know if that means persevering or rehoming her somewhere she's the only cat? She can be very affectionate, but not when my old cat is in the house.

I feel sad that they don't both get on, as we got her because the old cat seemed very lonely after losing our other cat last summer, but istead they both seem to be getting very stressed, my old cat has been biting out her fur. :( for them both.

what a sad situation for everybody
is there anyone that can give advice - your vet maybe? Is your other cat in season perhaps?

I think it sounds very likely that it is your old cat who is upsetting her and that she might well be happier elsewhere. And your old cat is unhappy too. Time to cut your losses, I reckon.

At least you can do that with a cat, not like children where you are stuck with whatever destructiveness and sibling dislike you get.

Have you tried Feliway?

Sometimes it just doesnt work out. I had to rehome a cat after the rescus gave me 2, saying that they were brothers. I dont think that they were (and I'm not sure that it would make any difference anyway!)
Separating the two of them made them both very happy.

We did try feliway but it affects my asthma so however good it is, I can't use it :(

I would definitely rehome her, and let the cats home know that she needs to go to a home with no other animals and a very patient owner.

You're not doing your old cat, yourself, or her any favours by allowing the situation to continue.

Why don't you restrict her movements like keep her in kitchen for a bit? Let her use that room only for a while until she gets more confident and then broaden her horizons to whole house or flat gradually?

OP .... I'd like to apologise as I gave you a bit of a hard time based purely on your original post but as you've now come back and explained more, you do admittedly sound far more concerned than you originally did.

I'd still rehome if I were you. Fact is not all cats get on with each other even if they've got on with other cats in the past IYSWIM - precisely because they all have different personalities. Do you know why this cat has had several homes ? Is it one recurring issue, or has she been passed from pillar to post for a variety of reasons ? Not sure how you came by her but a reputable shelter should have gathered a full past history as much as poss and rehomed accordingly. IME, some shelters are very good about this and will insist on waiting for the ideal home, but I have also had cats where I belatedly discovered they'd been ecconomical with the truth and whilst I sorted the problem out, it would have been courteous and responsible to tell/warn me beforehand. After all, a less patient owner might have given up. It does sound as if she might be best off as the only cat in a child free home, i.e. one where all potential sources of stress have been removed.

I'd also not risk getting another cat seeing as your first hasn't taken kindly to the new arrival. I've had cats who've been very laid back and accepting (during their lifetime) of several newcomers, but they're a rare breed. Most however do take some time to get used to new cats and they have to be introduced slowly and carefully, rather than thrown together straightaway. E.g: keeping new cat in one room for a week, then gradually introducing them to other rooms without other cats, so they can smell their scents. Swapping cat bedding about for same reason - so all cats suss there's someone new around, but not physically confronting them straightaway. Making short physical introductions to start .... with easy escape routes (cat flap, open window etc). Anyway, there's lots of info about it on the net. Maybe I've been lucky as I've made several introductions over the years and currently have 5 cats, but if any of the existing cats had become unduly aggressive (a bit of posturing and hissing at first is normal) I'd have had to think hard about returning the new cat to the shelter rather than prolong an introduction which wasn't working.

Please rehome your cat, and don't get any more.

When my DH and I married and bought our own home, we each had two cats.
We followed all advise and three of them got on well eventually. The fourth didn't and displayed similar behaviour which persisted for well over a year despite all efforts. It was frustrating at times for us; but heart breaking for her.
We re homed her with a charity that we have in this area.
It is for elderly people who want an older cat. You agree to pay all costs (food, vet bills etc.) and you get visitation.
It was a dreadful decision to come to; but the cat got respite from a hideous situation for her.
It's sometimes difficult to introduce a cat into another's defined and established territory; and I really wouldn't recommend it.

Rehoming doesn't always work out. I have taken back some of my foster dogs and cats from people who just couldn't cope with them only to find a home where the new owner found them the perfect pet. At the end of the day, a bad rehome doesn't benefit anyone. Let the cat go and don't beat yourself up too much, for all you know the cat my find a home where she feels much more settled. I have had over 50 foster cats and 43 foster dogs pass through my home over the last 8 years and I am not ashamed to say that there were I few I sighed a HUGE sigh of relief when they left. This is through no fault of their own, I had a beautiful retreiver who collected ticks for a hobby, a lovely saluki who seemed to spread a disproportionate amount of dirt and hair around and a GSD who was just plain naughty to start with. I still loved and cared for them but was very happy to send them to a new home

Bloody hell! It's a cat...no need to take it personally. It isn't doing it to 'offend' you FFS!

1. Get a grip and
2. find her somewhere else to live. You'll both be better off